Page 131 of Upon Buried Embers
I didn’t deserve to.
Hesitating for a moment, I place my hand on her head, stroking her softly and look at the braids she tried to do on her own, because I haven’t been doing it.
My throat tightens.
She struggled with it, the braids, sometimes making four strands and not the simple three. Her hair is thick, long and curly, untameable, like fire and I… enjoy braiding her hair, but I hadn’t been doing it.
I’ve been avoiding her after the meeting, and I know it upset her, I could tell.
But I had to focus on my duty, what’s important, getting the clan prepared for The Games, for what’s to come… I couldn’t beblinded.
Instead, I was fucking stupid.
There’s no honor in making a woman run into a snowstorm and causing her to get hurt.
That isn’t what we do. That isn’t whatIdo.
I didn’t mean for her to run like that, I was angry, and my anger has caused her pain.
I rub my eyes with clenched fists.
She whimpers, and I sit up instantly, eyes on her closed ones, waiting for them to open, but they never do.
Sighing, I untangle her hair gently and re-braid it the best I can with her laying down.
I try giving her broth next, but with the collar, it was no use getting her to swallow, so I just drip a little in her parted lips and blow gently.
It doesn’t work at first, but slowly, she groans before swallowing, then her body heaves with coughs.
“I’m here, gentle.” My words are soft, softer than I’ve ever heard them. Any other time I would chastise myself for it, but I can’t.
I rub the center of her chest, my sole focus on helping her the best I can as she settles and stays deep in sleep.
I don’t think of anything, don’t look at anything else.
So much so that I don’t think about the hair still on the floor, the dragons outside my cabin, and I don’t think about how I lay down with her, curling around her to protect her when I know I shouldn’t.
When really, someone should be here to protect her fromme.
She has a fever.
She trembles uncontrollably as Asseya tries to give her medicine, and she coughs most of it up.
“Poor dear,” Asseya sighs, holding the mug of medicine and looking down at it. “I’m certain she can come out of this on her own, but the medicine will help.”
I wipe a cloth over her forehead, exhausted after two days but refusing to have a break.
“I’ll give it to her, just leave it on the side.”
She puts it down on the nearby table. “I’ve left some soup, make sure to have some?”
I grunt, but don’t confirm.
I haven’t eaten anything since she’s been like this, can’t stomach it.
“You need to eat, Rohan.” I know Asseya is concerned, but it isn’t needed, I just need her.
“I will.”
