Page 130 of Upon Buried Embers
She rifles through the bag, putting paste on something and then wrapping it around her left wrist before putting some sort of splint on it.
I stare at her, her lips still tinged with blue even with the roaring fire.
She has a little cut there, and I glare at it, along with her swollen eye.
It doesn’t look like injuries from a fall. That’s what Asseya said.
So how the fuck did she get them?
“Why won’t she wake?” I clear my throat.
It feels thick, like something is stuck there.
Asseya smooths the hair from her face. “She ran into a snow storm, Rohan.”
Because of me.
“She wasn’t wearing the appropriate clothing.”
Because of me.
“She’s exhausted, and then she got hurt, and we don’t know how long she was buried in the snow before Escor got to her.”
Because.
Of.
Me.
A hand covering mine has my eyes flicking up to her concerned ones. “She needs rest, warmth and,” a pause. “Care.”
I pull my hand away and nod, because no words will come.
I remember how she flinched when I shouted at her, how she dropped the roses because her hands shook too much, and I remember the light dimming from her eyes, tears falling before she turned and went out the door.
“I’ll come by tomorrow. A bath will warm her, but let’s keep her in the bed for now and the fire lit. There’s some warm broth on the table, try to trickle it in her mouth and rub her neck to swallow. Well,” she says sadly, “What you can reach with the collar.”
The collar Istillhaven’t found a way to get off without hurting her.
It was melded together at the back, just under her hairline and I saw the scar from it there.
It must have hurt.
Just like her running in the cold hurt her.
Just like her broken wrist hurt her.
Just likeIhurt her.
Fuck.
What have I done?
“Rest, Rohan.” Asseya says, and then she leaves us.
I watch her chest rise and fall under the furs. She’s wearing one of my tunics underneath.
I closed my eyes and changed her under the furs, needing to keep her warm but I also felt like I didn’t have the right to see her naked, no matter the times I’ve seen her when bathing.
