Page 20 of The Lands Defying
“Darius?” I sit up quickly, clutching the furs to my chest as moonlight peeks through the room, illuminating the scars on his back.
He stills at the sound of my voice, shoulders rising and falling roughly.
My feet hit the floor, and I pad over to him, not stopping until I’m in front of his body.
His eyes seem a little unfocused as he looks down at me, a sheen of sweat covering his body.
My brows furrow. “Darius?”
He shakes his head, blinking a few times. “Go to bed, you should be resting.” He moves to the side and passes me.
I turn and clutch his hand, squeezing it roughly as my heart beats wildly. “You vowed,” I remind him, and I hear the breath release from his lungs.
He said he wouldn’t go down to the basement again.
We stay like this for a long time in silence, me clutching his hand while he tries to calm himself from whatever woke him.
“Come back to bed,” I whisper, pulling him gently.
I’m surprised when he lets me, but I continue until he’s on the bed with me. I push him down gently, laying next to him.
He stares up at the ceiling, barely blinking and I bite my lip.
Decision made, I crawl on top of him, and his hands go to my waist instantly.
“What’s wrong?” I ask quietly.
His eyes slowly come to mine, and the pain within them makes my breath stutter.
“It’s nothing, rest, little wolf.” He tries to pull me down, but I stop him. Once again, locked in each other’s gazes, I ask with my eyes for him to tell me.
“It was just a nightmare.” I tilt my head when he lets go of my waist and looks down at his hands.
I see the tremble in them and my worry mounts.
“What was it about?” I keep my voice low, quiet.
“My sins.”
Me.
I run my hands over his bare chest as he still looks at his hands.
“I see blood, I see pain. I see betrayal.” His words are low, like some secret.
I grab his hands and hold them in mine, running my fingers across them, over his knuckles and palms.
“Do you know what I see when I look at your hands?” I say, and his eyes flick up to mine, his head moving back and forth slowly, like he’s hanging on to my words. “I see the hands that fed me when I wouldn’t eat, gave me water when I wouldn’t drink.” I turn his hands over so our palms are flat, together. “I see the hands that washed me when I didn’t really have the strength to do it on my own. I see hands that planted seeds of my favorite flowers, made sure I had them again because he knew how much they meant to me.” His breathing picks up, his eyes fixated on me. “I see hands that may have once caused me pain.” He flinches, and a painful sound escapes him but I bring his hands to my chest, letting him feel my heartbeat. “But those hands have never hurt me again. They have cared for me, held me, and continue to do their best for me.” I smile down at him, leaning forward and moving some of his hair off of his forehead, tenderly. “I think these hands may always be what’s best for me.”
I release his hands and they come up to my face, holding it. His thumbs rub back and forth under my eyes, just feeling me as I smile at him.
“Laeliah,” he murmurs in a gruff voice. I huff out a laugh, but stop when he moves his hand over my heart. “Laeliah,” he repeats, eyes bouncing between mine.
I understand what he’s saying.
My heart is beautiful.
It’s scary to fall, not knowing if you will be caught.
