Page 131 of The Lands Defying
Mivera looks at me in surprise for a moment before her brows furrow and her eyes fill with concern. “You okay?” she asks, and I nod my head. She looks at me like I’m full of wolf shit. And I am. I’m not okay. “Let me help you.” I give her a curious look and then she’s at my back, reaching around and lifting my leg.
I grunt and lean forward, gripping the wolf’s fur so hard it pulls a few tuffs out, but the wolf doesn’t seem bothered. I squeeze my eyes shut and will my leg to move as I try and help her get my leg over. She eventually gets it over the other side and pushes me so I’m completely on the wolf’s back. I lean my head forward into the back of his neck, my breaths heavy.
Mivera rubs my back, and I bristle, hating the vulnerability I just showed, theweakness, but I’m honestly too tired to tell her to back off.
“Thanks,” I whisper to her, and she squeezes my shoulder before moving away. I raise my head, the dead trees before me mixing together and multiplying, the pain in my chest radiates through me again. I press my palm to it, not wanting to let out the pained sound that fights to be free from my lips.
I’m mindful of the wolf’s injuries as he walks, my hands buried in his fur at the back of his neck. The flame-like mist on him is small now, I notice, subtle as it flows over me.
It feels just like him, and I run my fingers through it, taking in some comfort.
Mivera walks at my side with her mother, younger sister, and brother. The boy on her back has his small arms wrapped around her neck to hold on while her sister holds her mother’s hand. Their faces are all showing their nerves, and with them having never entered The Deadlands before, I understand their unease.
I’m uneasy too but not from being inside here. I can feel my body giving up, feel that whatever that larger wolf did to me is dwindling.
I just need to reach him.
I sigh and slump forward a little on the wolf’s back, the warmth of his fur sliding through my fingers, and I just want to rest for a little while.
I can see the edge of The Deadlands in my peripheral, and I lift my head and pull on the wolf’s fur gently, stopping him from going any further.
I walk him tentatively forward, watching as the snowflakes fall on the treetops of Eridian when we come out of the dead trees. Winter is harsh, deadly, it’s no wonder I was born in it. I had barely ever known peace in my life, but just for a moment as I watch the snow-covered tree tops upon the wolf’s back, and the few birds that can withstand the weather flying above, I can breathe a little life into my lungs.
I lift my head and close my eyes, feeling the caress as a breeze finally rushes past me, smelling the lands, opening my senses to the scuttles of small creatures burrowing deeply into the ground. I look to the twin lakes next. The one on the left always freezes completely, while the one on the right doesn’t. I remember the pack going on that frozen lake one day, slipping and sliding until it felt like we were gliding across the surface.
It became a thing we did every winter, and became part of our simple life.
My gaze goes to the end of the valley next, as memories of falling at Lovers Falls rushes through my mind. At Darius reaching out his hand to try and reach me, save me. But he couldn’t and I fell.
I frown, then shiver. The peace disperses and a sadness creeps in. The wolf shifts beneath me and we walk back into the dead trees and onto the path we need to take, watching as the villagers wait for me.
“This way,” I tell them, and they follow without question.
The thought of Darius, at how close I may be to him makes me realize that I don’t want to go back to that simple life any more.
That simple life didn’t have Darius in it.
Is that selfish of me?.
I look down at my forearm and run my fingers over the marking that’s nearly filled there.
Darius is that part of me that has always needed to be filled, that part of me that I thought would be empty until my days end.
I want him, I crave him.
Ineedhim.
I have always been someone who made sure to never need anyone, instead looking after everyone, it’s all I have ever done for a long time.
But for once…for once I want someone to help me.
I want Darius to take some of this pain away that I feel in my heart and body, and just… save me.
I turn around and look at all who watch me, their gazes nervous and apprehensive.
“There is a path down to the forest a little further ahead, we will have to go very slow, but we need to be as quiet as we can. I’m hoping the Elites are still here, and if they are, you will be safe.” They look around at each other, but they eventually nod. I begin walking again.
I clench my jaw, my hand gripping the wolf’s fur to hold me steady as sweat beads on my forehead. My breaths come out more slowly, and I vow as my heartbeat fills my ears that it’s weakening. My chest heaves and more pain shoots out through the center of me, spreading to my arms and up my neck.
