Page 10 of The Dark Rising
“Why keep it a secret? I thought Mom taught me all I had to know about our Gods and the Heirs?” How much do I not know?
She shakes her head, sadness spreading across her features. “You were young, and time was running out to tell you all you needed to know.” Chills skate down my spine at her words.
“What do you mean?” My words are quiet, not sure if I want to know or not.
Sadness flashes in her eyes as she looks at me. “Your mom knew her time would come, knew the Highers would reach her eventually. She was a seer of sorts, which was her unique power gifted by Zahariss. She knew her time was running out, she had seen one night that her and your father’s lives were coming to an end. She came to see me just before your seventh birthday.”
My heart pounds violently in my chest. “She knew that her and Dad would die before my birthday?” Belldame nods, and the memory of dad giving me my knife and giving Mom her favorite flowers a few days before my birthday flashes through my mind. “But they were happy,” I choke out. “We laughed and danced the days leading up to my birthday.”
“They both didn’t want your final days with them to be full of sadness and sorrow, child. Both of them didn’t want that for you.” A tear tracks down my face and I wipe it away angrily, hating that my parents knew but had the strength to give me a few last happy moments.
“Why didn’t we all leave if she knew, why didn’t we escape?”
“She told me that no matter the path she took, the outcome would be the same for her and your father. But she had told her sister to watch over you, to make sure you were taken care of.”
Aunt Selena was supposed to take care of me? Anger whirls around inside of me at the thought. She didn’t do what my mom asked, she left me to rot in the basement.
“She left you a letter with me, would you like it?”
I choke out a breath and nod my head, unable to believe this is even real right now. She waves a hand, and a rolled-up piece of parchment appears in her fingers. She stands, bringing the paper over to me and I take it in my shaking hands, holding it close to my chest as I try to gather myself.
“I knew your mother for a very long time, child, as I have with every Heir before her, offering them sanctuary here when they needed it. I saw her swell with you in her belly, saw how happy she was when you would kick and wriggle.” Her eyes shimmer as she speaks. “Your mother never complained, she would laugh and rub her belly, letting you know she was there.” I nod, unable to speak, taking those words about my mom and burrowing them deep in my heart. “Your mother never wanted any of this for you. She was a dear friend of mine, a great Heir and an even greater mother.” She wipes a tear from my cheek with a wrinkled hand, a soft smile on her face. “This is a gift not many can have. I promised to get this to you when I could. I knew there would be a time that you would come to Witches Rest, your mother said so herself. I have waited a long time for this moment. For me to deliver my final promise to your mother.” Her smile trembles. “You look so much like her.”
“I do?” I was young when I last saw Mom, and when I felt her in the great hall, I didn’t see her, I just felt and heard her.
“You do, child, you have her nose, hair and eyes. Your chin definitely comes from your father.” I let out a wet laugh and close my eyes, the onslaught of emotion making my body tremble.
She stands and looks around the room at everyone. “Come, let’s give her some privacy.”
Everyone leaves, squeezing my shoulders or touching their cheek to mine before the door is gently closed behind them. Now alone, I take a deep breath and run my shaky fingers over the paper, trying to make sense of everything Belldame just told me. Sniffling, I untie the string and roll the paper out between my fingers. The tears fall harder as soon as I see mom’s handwriting for the first time in so many years.
Lasandrhea.
Happy birthday sweetheart, I’m sorry I missed it, and the many others that have come after it. I wished to the Gods to be present for many birthdays, but I knew it wouldn’t come to be.
My beautiful girl, I never wanted to be writing this letter to you as you sleep upstairs, dreaming of running through blooming meadows and playing in the rivers. For nearly seven years I have watched you grow, watched you smile, wiped your tears and held your laughter close. I miss you now even though you are just above me, and I will miss you even more when I’m gone. I wish I could be there with you now, holding you close and taking walks through the lesia flowers as we always did.
I’m so sorry, Milal, for leaving you. Your father and I both are. We love you so very, very much. Our hearts beat with yours and you will walk the earth while we have joined with it. Your father and I are grateful for the time we were able to have with you, you are a joy to our hearts and the love of our souls.
I squeeze the edges of the paper as tears form in my heart with grief all over again.
Don’t be sad for too long about our passing, sweetheart, we have accepted it and knew it would come one day. Don’t be too hard on yourself with grief and the blame I know you will put on yourself for what you overheard that night in the woods. I know you will, it’s the kindness within you, but know that it was always meant to happen this way, how Zahariss saw it happening. The Gods have had enough of their Heirs being in the shadows, and it’s time for them to come out and reclaim what is theirs. For that, we could no longer be with you as you take this path.
I hope the life you are leading is gentle and kind to you, but I’m afraid that hasn’t been the case, has it? You are so strong my darling girl, so so strong. I wished for a different life for you, wished you could be free of the invisible chains that come with being an Heir and the way our people see us. Zahariss chooses the ones fit for her power, and our bloodline was who she chose. Trust in her decision, sweetheart, for you are worthy. Also trust in mine for the decision to begin passing on my markings of an Heir to you early. When you reach the age of eighteen, your full markings will be complete, and you will become who you are supposed to be.
We didn’t reach your eighteenth birthday, we weren’t there when your markings fully adorned your skin. Again, I’m sorry, we’ve missed so much in your life, especially when you received your wolf. I would have loved to have seen her, I bet she is beautiful.
I failed, Mom, she won’t come out anymore.
Before I left this world, I asked for Belldame’s help in transferring some of my essence to you. When the time is right, I will guide you into your full powers, help you bring it forward. I have seen that you will struggle with that, holding on to the promise you made me about keeping it a secret. I knew you wouldn’t break that promise since I asked it of you when you were six without me allowing it. That was the only solution for me to release you from that promise, and I hope when you are receiving this letter, I have spoken to you again for the last time and you know how much I love you.
Vrohkaria hasn’t been kind to you, to any Heirs for a very long time, and I’m afraid it may not be for a little while longer. I trust you to right the wrongs of the lands, this is the path Zahariss has put you on. She knew what would happen when I passed, knew that the lands would fight back and try to push the Highers out of their power. Vrohkaria will perish if they continue to do so.
When you find your Bloodmate, believe that the Gods choose wisely for you both, believe in their decision. As I once said to you Milal, he will protect you more than most.
For now, my brave girl. I must go.
Look to the earth and listen to their sounds. Every sway of a branch, every rustle of leaves, the first frost, the first gentle rainfall of spring., Know it is us. We are always there, with you, around you.
