Page 104 of The Dark Rising
He runs a hand through his hair. “Rhea—“
“I would never have done what you did to me knowingthat. It takes me less than a second to realize that, but you?“ I tilt my head back, my anger rising. “You don’t know.” I place my hands on my hips, a growl coming from me. it hurts more than I should let it, and my heart can’t take any more beating right now.
“I—“
“Fuck you,” I breath, and then snap my head up at him. “Fuck. You.” I go for him, and I’m barely aware that he releases his hold on me and then I’m hitting him. Anywhere and everywhere I can. His face, chest, legs, feet, stomach. I hit and kick and scratch and slap and I don’t stop. Screaming at him, growling, hating that I’m feeling so raw and open and yet the fact remains.
He doesn’t know if that would make a difference in his decisions.
The Gods really chose wrong.
The Gods are liars.
I don’t want it. I don’t want it. I don’t want it!
Hands grab my wrists, and then they are pulling me into a hard body. My breaths come out in hard pants as I struggle, wanting to get away and I hurt.
We go down to the floor and I land on top of him, and I know he fucking let himself be taken down. It makes me even more angry. Without thinking, I have my knife from my boot in my hand, and in the next breath, it’s at his neck. I look down at Darius, and he doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t even try and move it as his arms lay limply at his sides. I dig the knife in further, and I watch as beads of blood form and dribble down his neck.
“How could you say you don’t know,” I whisper to him, and to my horror, tears sting the back of my eyes.
“Back then, I was too angry after what I saw in the crystal, too blinded. I don’t know if it would have mattered at that moment when all I felt was rage.” My fingers tighten on the hilt.
“Youwhippedme,“ I say. “You...” I choke on a gasp. “You whippedme.”
He becomes blurry as I remember that moment. The pain, the betrayal, every slice, every strike, I feel it all as if I was still there, kneeling on that cold floor in front of the Highers as he did it.
He closes his eyes briefly. “I did whip you,” he replied, his voice horse. My head bows when he has finally said it out loud. Not once in all this time has he said those words to me. “I’m sorry, little wolf.”
“No, you’re not.” My other hand goes to his chest, my fingers digging into him as my body shakes. “Liar.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. I shake my head. His hand moves and he slowly cups my chin before raising my head. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. You will never know how deep that regret goes, my pain, knowing I did that to you. I tore your flesh from your back. From you. From my Vihnarn.”
A sob escapes from me and I squeeze my eyes shut. I’ve wanted him to admit what he did and to apologize for it, to show me has some regrets. But I don’t even know if this is enough. If I can move on from this. A hand on my own that holds the knife has my eyes opening, landing on it.
“What kind of male am I to do that?” Darius murmurs. “How can you even look at me sometimes, how can you still let me in your body?” He laughs to himself. “And I take advantage of the connection because I want you. You know I do, and you still let me,” he sighs. “And even now? You’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing and driving that knife into my throat.”
“I should,” I whimper, a tear running down my face. I should do that, end it here and now.
“You should,” he agrees. “Take It.”
“What?” I chokes out.
“Take it. Your revenge, your justice, the blood you are owed by me. Take. It.”
“That’s not—.”
“Take. It.” He growls, releasing his dominance, and I gasp, my hand that was on his chest now moving to the side of his neck. I grip him there, holding his eyes.
He’s not scared, not even the slightest bit of hesitation is registering in his eyes as I could quite literally kill him, here and now.
To be free of him, us.
He pulls my wrist, and the knife sinks deeper into his skin. I release a panicked sound, feeling sick to my stomach as I take the knife away, holding it up high. My chest heaves, my body trembles and I know my eyes are wild, confused and unsure.
“How much did you read in that book?” I ask.
“As much as I could before you appeared.”
