Page 50 of The Dark Rising
I grit my teeth and look away, swallowing hard, not wanting to look at him whilst I feel like crawling out of my skin. I hear Darius shift, and then the bed dips next to me as he sits, his hip to my knee. I don’t move, I don’t think I breathe as I feel the warmth of him seeping into me. A hand grips my chin, and I flinch.
He pauses, an uncomfortable sound leaving him before he sighs heavily, giving me a moment before he gently turns my head toward him, too gentle, as if I would break.
I can’t break anymore than I already have, doesn’t he see that?
Once my eyes meet his, he runs his thumb over my cheek softly, his jaw ticking with his thoughts and I resist the urge to run from his touch and lean into it all the same.
“Charles said either I rape you or he will.” I jolt, my stomach churning and threatening to empty itself. I do try to move out of his grasp then, but he holds firm, keeping his eyes on me as I breathe through my nose, my hands trembling. He shakes my chin a little, not hurting me, but to get me to focus. “I won’t rape you, little wolf. And neither will he. When you said Charles wanted to breed you when you were older, I knew then what you were telling us was the truth. Because how could you have known that Charles had said that to me? You couldn’t have, the only way you could have known is if he has said it to you. Which he did, didn’t he? Just as you told us in the other room.”
My eyes water a little but I blink it away. His thumb still rubs soothing circles over my skin, and that is something I just don’t expect from him. The asshole only believes me because of what I said to him matches what Charles told him? I should be happy he believes me, should be thanking the Gods that something is going right.
But why can’t he believe me just because it’s me?
“I remember very well all the things Charles would say to me. Now he wants you to do the same thing he does,” I grit out, trying to banish those words from my mind.
He grows low. “I won’t, little wolf.”
“You won’t?” I whisper, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice.
“Never,” he says harshly, his eyes cold at the thought.
“Would you hurt me?”
He shakes his head, but his eyes peer over my shoulder, and I know he’s thinking about the lashes he gave me.
“I don’t trust you,” I say, and his eyes tighten around the edges. “How do I know the Highers aren’t on their way here? How do I know you are not preparing to take me back? How can I believeyou?”
“You don’t know that by my word alone.” That’s the fucking truth. “But you will. I don’t trust you either, I don’t trust that you don’t have an ulterior motive for agreeing to come here so easily.” Easily? We didn’t have a choice. “But I cannot deny what I’ve seen with my own eyes, what I have heard. I need to look into some other things with what you told me, but the marks on your body don’t lie, your reactions to someone touching you sometimes don’t lie. The look in your eyes. Doesn’t. Lie.” He grits his teeth. “We are Heirs of the lands and the below, and it’s our duty to find a way to stop the rogures, we may be the only ones who can.” I hate to admit it, but he’s right in that. “So whether we like it or not, we have to work together to stop them, or the lands will cease to exist as we have known them. Whether we trust each other or not, know that I do believe you in the things you have told me, little wolf.” He says the words softly, like he’s trying to reassure me.
I would love to wrap those words around my heart and keep them safe, to know that he does truly believe me. However, I needed him to believe me long before now, and he didn’t, I can’t forget that. If he would have told me in Eridian after playing with the pups that the moon was falling, I wouldn’t have second guessed him. This connection I seem to have with him was at its strongest then, and even though I can still feel it thrumming between us, he damaged it. It’s frayed, but still holding on. Why can’t it just snap and let us be without it? We both don’t want it even as it draws us together.
“What about Sarah? My pack? Kade?” I ask instead of what I really want to ask. Why didn’t you believe me then? Why did you go back on your vow? Why did you make me hope I may have something I never thought I could have?
That’s the thing about hope, when you have it, it’s a little scary and exhilarating, you feel warmth and tingles all over your body at what could be. But when it’s taken away, you’re left worse than you were before. Instead of hitting rock bottom, you are constantly sinking in the darkest depths of the sea, crashing into a bottomless pit, clawing at your throat for air, even knowing there is none.
Darius’s fingers twitch against my cheekbone. “We will get them and bring them here, but I need a solid reason that they are in danger. I can’t just take them. Vokheim Keep is strong and has its own protections, but against the Highers, especially the Lord Higher? I’m not sure it will hold and stop him from entering, and he will when he finds out I am suspicious of him or not on his side. Which I am not,” he tells me. “Not anymore.”
“You would go against the Highers who you have been working with foryears, just like that?“ I ask suspiciously.
“You think so little of the Elites after we know what we do now?” He drops his hand from my chin. “You think so little of me?” I say nothing. He shakes his head, but I feel it’s more to himself than me. “Elites are the protectors of the lands, that hasn’t changed, only now we have to protect it against someone else too.” We stare at each other at his words, and there it is, that fucking strand of hope clawing out of the darkness, as bright as spun gold. “If we can find evidence that your pack members’ safety is in jeopardy, I can have them here and no laws would be broken. A fight with the Highers is not what we need right now, we have to be logical about this and let them think we aren’t doing anything for as long as possible, to give us time to get your pack back, to find the others you mentioned they have taken.”
He means this, doesn’t he? I can tell with the look in his eyes. Could he and the rest of the Elites truly be on our side in this? “You really would go against the Highers?” I ask again, unable to let it sink in, looking around the room like they will jump out at me at any moment.
”Iamgoing against the Highers,“ he corrects, and my heart kicks up a notch at the force of his words. “I am the Alpha of the Elites before anything else, the protector of the people. I will do what I can for Vrohkaria.”
I ingest his words and I look down, shaking my head. “They have to go, Darius, the Highers can’t continue ruling over Vrohkaria. They are stealing pups for their own gain, they can’t continue doing this.
“No they can’t,” he growls, and the deep, low sound makes my thighs clench. “Their time will come, but it’s not like we can walk in there and take their heads. Again, I need to see what they are planning, especially Charles. If he’s taking children, where are they? This is what I need to find out without letting them know what I’m doing, or those pups taken could be put in danger. Then I can plan to take him down where the people won’t question it when it’s revealed about what he has done. He’s already on shaky ground with them as it is, but that doesn’t mean his allies will rally against those opposing him.”
He’s right, we have to be careful about this. Cautious. Running in all paws blazing will do no one any good, no matter my need to do so to get Kade.
I can’t get him if I’m dead, I know this. It’s why I haven’t attempted to do so in the last few months. The wait is slowly rotting me from the inside through, building up slowly and it’s about to bubble out and I don’t know what I will become because of that.
“What he has done to you?” He looks away, like he can’t bear to see me and I feel shame hovering below the surface. I watch as that black mist floats around him, flowing in swirls around his hands and the call for me to reach out to it has my own hands clenching, holding it back. “That alone is enough to sentence him to death.”
I look up at him sharply at his words. “Why would you care what he’s done to me?” I ask, anger suddenly right there. “Youwhippedme.“ I ignore how my voice cracks at the words, how my hurt is noticeable for him to see. “It has nothing to do with you what was done to me.Nothing!”
Power explodes through the room suddenly as he stands, and mine swells, reacting to his. Our markings appear on our bodies simultaneously, pulsing to the same beat that only we know. “You are the Heir of Zahariss, I’m the Heir of Cazier. I am the only other person in the lands that is like you, matches you, yet is still so different.” He turns away from me, walks a few paces, and then turns back. His eyes are hard and alight with possessiveness as he looks at me “Whether you like it or not. You are mine,” he growls, and I shiver at the deep tone, even as I growl back at him. “Mine to deal with, mine to guide, and mine to protect. Mine in all the ways any other could be.”
