Page 30 of The Dark Rising
What is wrong with him? Why would he suggest this?
“Josh.” I go to grab his arm, but he steps away from me.
A pause, then. “If she’s in danger, which I do not believe,” Darius says, “then we will help her get away from that danger.”
Josh’s shoulders loosen, and I just stare at him, shocked. The fuck? He can’t possibly be okay with that?
He turns, finally looking at me. “Show them,” he demands.
“What?” My brows furrow. Show them?
“Showthem,“ he repeats, looking over my body. I stumble away from him, already shaking my head when I realize what he’s asking. No, no way, who even is he right now to ask me that? What right does he think he has? “Show them, they will believe you, me, us.” He throws a hand out to us all, but I’m still shaking my head at him, still backing away as the Elites watch on curiously. “Rhea, show them!” he shouts, and I flinch away from him, my eyes wide in shock. I can’t control my reaction quick enough which causes a growl from Darius, which I ignore.
“Now, child,” Belldame calls Josh. “Just calm down.”
“No,” he refuses. “Show them, Rhea.” He storms over to me, closing the distance as I stagger back from the look in his eyes. It’s determination and anger.
“J…Josh, w…wait.” He grips the front of my shirt and rips it down the middle while I stand there in utter shock. I don’t want to hurt him, he’s Josh. My Josh, the brother I’ve never had. But he’s ripping my shirt off and starts undoing the ties on my pants, and I can’t move…
I see Darius storm our way and I act without thought, finally able to move and push power into Josh, sending him flying away from me and Darius as I look at him, tears stinging my eyes.
“What the hell, Josh,” I croak out a whisper as I try to close my now-tattered shirt around my front, trying to hide my naked chest. How could he do that to me?
Josh gets to his feet, his face hard as he looks at me. “Show them, I’ve never asked you for anything, I’m asking you now. You said you would repay me somehow for getting you out of our pack, I’ve always refused. But now, Rhea, I’m asking you this one thing. Show them.”
His eyes plead with me as Darius comes to a halt a few feet away, watching our interaction closely.
“I…I,” I stammer, unable to get words out, unable to think or feel or know what to say.
“You asshole,” Colten shouts at Josh as Hudson hauls him back by the neck when he tries to storm his way over here. The rest of my pack is looking at Josh with the same shocked and angry look as Colten as Belldame halts them from coming closer.
I stand there, shaking, feeling the guilt rise in me at his words. Josh hasn’t ever asked anything of me, he risked his life to get me out of that basement, he could have died, but he did it anyway. He has never asked for anything for saving my life, and I did say I would repay him. This is a small ask, right? This isn’t a big deal. This is the least I could do, isn’t it? if it’s what he really wants? I should repay him, shouldn’t I?
So why do I feel vomit crawling up my throat that’s slowly tightening, why do I feel the air around me squeezing me so tightly, why do I feel so hurt after what Josh has just done?
“This is what you want?” I ask him, my voice wobbly. “What you truly want and what you have decided?”
He swallows, and I swear I see guilt in his eyes before it clears. “Yes.”
“What’s going on?” The confusion is noticeable in Darius’s tone but I ignore him as I keep my eyes on Josh. He’s not wavering. Will he forgive me for not telling him about Sarah if I do this?
I step away so I have a little room, not wanting anyone near me. No one to get too close.
No one near me means they’re not there, right? They won’t see me, won’t look at me. It will just be me on my own if I don’t look at them.
If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.
If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.
Runa whines inside of me as I repeat this to myself. I ignore her as I shakily shrug off my tattered shirt from my shoulders, throwing it to the grassy ground. Cool air hits my naked skin and I shiver as it sinks into my bones.
“Rhea,” Seb murmurs, and I hear his shuffled footsteps before they stop, my pack talking in hushed whispers.
I look at Josh one more time, hoping he’s changed his mind, to tell me he didn’t mean it, but he just watches and waits. I squeeze my eyes shut briefly, then loosen the rest of the ties on my pants before dropping them, pulling them down my leg and off my feet, kicking them to the side.
I step away from my clothing and breathe deep, closing my eyes and ignoring the shake that is rattling my whole body.
If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.
