Page 126 of The Dark Rising
“Around an hour,” is all she says and squeezes my hand. “I’m worried about you, Rhea. This power of yours.” She shakes her head, frowning. “If you can’t get a grasp on it, it will take everything from you.”
“I’m trying,” I assure her. And I am.
“Everything comes with a price. Yours will be your life if you don’t get it under control soon,” she tells me and Darius growls, the room vibrating with the depth of it as he starts pacing the length of his bedroom.
“What?” I ask her, my heart pounding. I can’t die, my pack and Kade are still out there, and I fought too fucking hard to stay alive.
“You’re giving too much too quickly and running yourself dry. If you have nothing left and attempt to keep going, or in your case unable to stop, it will take all of you.” Her eyes shimmer with tears. “You just need your wolf to be one with you, Belldame told you as much.”
“She doesn’t want to come out to be whole.” I deflate, wondering where in the Gods I went wrong. Does Runa hate me? Hate me for what she went though?
“She does want to,” Darius tells me, still pacing the floor. “I felt it, she wants nothing more than to feel the ground beneath her feet. Fear is stopping her.” He runs his hands through his hair, his gaze burning a hole wherever it lands.
“Even so,” I say, eyeing him cautiously, “there isn’t much I can do if she won’t come out.”
“You need to push harder,” Darius growls.
“No,” I snap at him, baring my teeth. “I can feel her, it’s too much, she needs to rest, Darius.”
“She will be able to rest indefinitely if she doesn’t show herself because both of you will be dead!” he roars, the room rattling with it as I stare, my wide eyes connecting with him.
“Dar…” He shakes his head and storms out of the room, the bedroom door banging off the wall violently.
I sigh and lay back down, still exhausted on a soul level. Everything feels like it’s crashing down around me, one failure after another. Always something getting in the fucking way.
I didn’t know this time it would be myself.
“Rest, Rhea.” Anna pats my hand and I jolt, forgetting she was even here. She gives my hand a squeeze and collects her things before leaving the room.
Leaving me alone in my own silence.
I gently prod at Runa. She’s curled up asleep, just as exhausted as I am. My Heir power floats around her, blue sparks coming from it every now and again, never settling but not aggressive.
At the moment.
I don’t know what even happened in the dining room. My thoughts just spiraled and it just burst out of me. Well, my power did.
Did I nearly take Leo’s head off? Am I a danger to those around me?
That thought stops me cold. No, I won’t accept it. I can’t.
I need to figure it out, my pack is at stake. Kade’s life is at stake. They won’t hesitate to use him to get to me, they already did.
But I fear this time they would do something I can’t even attempt to repair.
I can’t raise the dead.
When you’re dead. You’re dead.
I won’t let them take his life, I fought too hard to give him one, and I won’t let this power inside of me take mine. There is too much left to do.
I look toward the door where Darius left, wondering if he’s right about Runa. He’s the only one who can help, and to do that, I need to truly let him in. I need to forgive him fully for what he did to me and move on. He said sorry, he spoke his truth, and I think I need to speak the rest of mine.
He’s my only float in the seas of my path at the moment, and I need to grab onto it and hold tight.
He’s the only hope I have of getting Runa out and I need to drop some walls to do so.
My pack is worth the sacrifice, Kade is worth the sacrifice of letting the person who is the most dangerous of all inside my walls that I have so carefully crafted.
