Page 125 of The Dark Rising
I drop my fork, the clang of it ringing loud in the suddenly quiet space as everyone looks toward me. My vision turns hazy and my power rushes to the surface unexpectedly. So strong, angry, wild and free when it bursts out of me. Ice-blue whips around me, my hair floating. I can barely hear anything, and I can’t see anything as my power is rushing out of me uncontrollably.
Someone shouts, things crash and bang and split and all I feel is…. lost.
Why me, why them, why us. Why am I sitting here doing nothing while others suffer again?
Why, why, why.
Haven’t I given enough blood to this world? Enough tears, enough cries, enough fucking pain! Haven’t I given more than is due for the stain on my soul from what I had to do to make sure we all survived. Yet they are out there, alone, and I may have just caused more deaths by not controlling myself with Maize.
I’m not worthy of this power coursing through me that I cannot even control. I’m not worthy of the title Heir of Zahariss if I can’t even protect my family. I am not worthy of being the daughter of a mother who did all she could for me.
Tendrils flow over me as a wall of power keeps me encased inside. It ripples angrily, sparks spitting out of it as Runa comes to the surface. She’s angry, so angry at the world, so menacing with a snarl upon her face. Power flows over her, coating her like armor as she runs at me from within and I lurch forward, gripping the table in front of me tightly, retching from the force of her hitting me.
My thoughts are scattering between anger and despair, I can’t focus on one or the other as Runa continues her battle from within. Hitting me again and again to the point where I swear I feel her creeping out of my skin. I can’t pull my power back and I can’t hold her back.
Darkness leaks through my blue, misty tendrils creeping forward and reaching for me. But I can’t move, stuck still as pain slices through my body, holding me captive. I grit my teeth, breathing heavily through my nose as I try to call my magic back, but I can’t. It’s not listening. It won’t listen.
That’s when I start to panic. I can feel it taking more of me, leeching from me as my eyelids droop. I stare at the black, willing it to reach me, to get it to stop, to just make it stop. As if it can hear me, it springs through my wall of power in a burst of speed and hits me in my chest, forcing me to take a breath.
I wasn’t even breathing.
I suck in lungfuls of air as more and more black reaches me, and I welcome, wanting it to help me. I’m suddenly yanked from behind and lifted into a set of strong, familiar arms, the black fully covering the blue around us.
“What—“ I cough, gripping Darius as he holds me tighter. “I can’t, I can’t stop it,” I tell him, my body waning.
“Don’t worry, little wolf.” he says gently, his lips coming to the top of my head. “Sleep.”
“I’m sick…” I breathe, “of fucking… sleeping.” But I do, unable to help as my power takes all of me that I have to give and I succumb to exhaustion.
Again.
Shouting reaches me and I peel my eyes open, wincing at the light piercing me.
“This needs to fucking stop, she can’t control her power so she shouldn’t use it, its dangerous,” someone shouts.
“She’s learning, she isn’t fully with her wolf yet but when she is she will have control,” Darius tells them.
“She nearly took my fucking head off!” Leo growls, it must have been Leo that was shouting. “You can’t expect me not to defend myself from an attack. Even if I have to stab her to—“
His words are cut off and I move my sleep-ridden eyes to where Darius has him pinned against the wall by his throat. “Do not,” he says in a low, dangerous tone. “Finish that sentence if you want to walk out of here without bleeding.”
“Brother, you can’t be serious,” Leo coughs out, his eyes wide.
“Deadly, do not make me hurt you, Leo,” Darius warns, and then lowers his voice, speaking too quietly for me to hear. Whatever he says to Leo has his blue eyes snapping to me over Darius’s shoulder, an understanding in them that wasn’t there before. He nods, his eyes moving back to Darius when he lets him go.
“Okay, I got it,” Leo tells him, putting a hand on his shoulder before he walks out the room without another word.
“Hey,” Anna’s gentle voice says, and I turn toward her on the other side of the bed.
“Hey,” I croak, moving to sit up the best I can. Darius rushes forward and helps me settle back against the pillow, his face tense.
“Drink this,” Anna says, handing me a cup of something green that smells like shit. I wrinkle my nose and look at her. “It will help, I promise.” She smiles, moving her red hair over her shoulder and taking a seat on the bed next to me while I look at the green liquid, hoping it’ll disappear.
“Drink or I will force it down your throat,” Darius warns from my other side, arms folded as he watches me.
“Gods,” I mutter at his grumpiness. I pinch my nose and bring the cup to my lips, trying to ignore the thickness of the liquid and drink it as quickly as possible.
“Good girl,” Darius praises and now I scowl, trying to keep whatever I just drank down. “How long until she feels the effects?” he asks Anna while I settle deeper into the pillows with a sigh.
