Page 13 of The Hidden Falling
“Three, and I handled it, so it’s not a problem,” he says as he stands to his full height, towering over my five-foot six frame.
“Not a problem,” I repeat. “Not a fucking problem. What in the Gods name were you thinking?” I growl, poking him in his chest. “Have you lost your damn mind?”
“I said I took care of it, and I did,” he states, throwing his hands up in the air and glaring at me. “I got rid of the problem, there was no more. Why are you making a big deal out of it?”
“Kade.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, willing myself to stay calm. Runa bristles beneath my skin, not liking that he had been in danger either. “You could have been fucking killed, does that even matter to you? And why am I just hearing about this now?” I demand. I’m panicking. I panic for him, panic for the pack and why we had an unexpected visit from some Rogures. Were there more around? Are they on their way here now?
“Josh”I bark down the link. “Do a perimeter check. Now! Three Rogures have been in Eridian, there dead but they may be more.”
“Shit. On it, I’ll update you,”he rushes out, not asking how or why. I have no doubt he heard the slight fear in my voice. It wasn’t fear for me, but fear for everyone else.
I look back to Kade as he speaks. “They were northwest from here at the cliffside. I’m fine. I only got a few scratches, and they’re all healed,” he tells me, as if it’s no big deal that he decided to take on three fucking Rogures on his own. I look him over, seeing no visible injuries which calms me somewhat. “And I’ve only just come back,” he continues. “That’s why you haven’t heard about it until now. It happened not too long ago. I was already out this way when I caught your scent. So here I am.”
“You took on three Rogures on your own, as a new wolf. You didn’t retreat and call on me or Josh through the link, you just decided to come back home like everything is fine. You’re telling me you see absolutely nothing wrong with that?” I question in disbelief, shaking my head at him.
Did he suddenly lose his head when he got his wolf?
He lifts a shoulder and tucks his hands into his front pockets or his cargo pants like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Like he didn’t just play with his life.
I explode.
“There could have been more of them, Kade! Shit, there might even be. They travel in large packs, youknowthis. You’re lucky you’re even standing here,“ I shout, forcing myself not to strangle the kid for his stupidity. “You’re an eighteen-year-old who only got his wolf five months ago,” I grit out, barely resisting a snarl toward him. “You have no idea how to control your instincts. You should have called for me or Josh down the link. You should have come back to the settlement, and we would have taken care of it. You can’t just endanger your life like that. You can’t–”
“I can, and I did!” he roars, losing his nonchalant attitude and stunning me into silence with his outburst. He continues as he starts to pace, “I saw them, and I took care of them.” He breathes heavily, fists clenching and unclenching. “I ripped them to shreds and tore out their throats until there was nothing left of them but blood and guts. I did what I should have done years ago!”
Confused, I stare at him as he paces back and forth, wondering what he’s talking about. What does him tearing Rogures apart and putting himself in danger have to do with anything years ago?
Then it hits me, and my face instantly falls.
Shit.
“Carzan,” I say gently, speaking the male term of endearment of our family language as I walk toward him. Stepping in his way to make him stop his pacing, I bring my hands up to his face to make him look at me, but he shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut, refusing my silent request. “Look at me, please,” I plead with him, stroking my thumbs over his cheekbones.
He inhales deeply before opening his eyes for me. What I see there breaks my heart for him all over again. So much pain and torment reside in those blue eyes of his, and I wish I could take it all away from him. I wish I could heal these wounds he carries on his young heart. I hear Runa whimper inside my head, affected by his pain as well.
“There wasnothingyou could have done,“ I choke out, and his face twists at my words. “You were achild,Kade, just as Cassie was. The blame is on me and me alone.“ He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off with a shake of my head. “I was responsible for you both, and I failed. Me, Kade. I am forever sorry, and I know sorry doesn’t make it any better.” I inhale a sharp breath and blink back tears at the pain. I will never forgive myself for not protecting them both. “Her death is on my shoulders, not yours. You did everything a thirteen-year-old boy could have done. It was not. Your. Fault,” I whisper the last words, bringing his forehead down to mine, hoping he hears me. Feels the sincerity in my voice.
He breathes in a shuddered breath, then brings his arms around me, hugging me close. My hands drop from his cheeks when he rests his head on top of mine. “It hurts,” he says in a guttural tone that has more tears stinging the back of my eyes. “My wolf, he feels the loss of her. He wants something he can’t have. Can never have. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Rhea.” His shoulders shake while he burrows his face in the crook of my neck, clinging to me tightly.
I wrap my arms around him, holding him as I feel his tears coat my skin. I’d never even thought about what it would do to both him and his wolf when he got him. I’d seen his and Cassie’s bond from the first moment they met, not long after we left our old pack. They were enamored with each other. He was so sweet and protective of her, and she adored and followed him everywhere.
One night, one moment, changed all of that. Leaving heartbreak and grief behind.
I hate that it’s my fault that he’s feeling this way, that I failed to protect what was most precious to him. He and his wolf are hurting so much, and there is nothing I can do to ease it for them. How didn’t I realize that until now?
“I am always here for you, always. Whenever you need me, I’m here,” I whisper hoarsely, trying to keep myself together for him. “I pray to Zahariss and Cazier that time will help your heart, Carzan.”
More tears wet my neck as he takes a few deep breaths and tightens his hold on me. “Arbiel cana,” he says, so heartbreakingly that a lone tear falls silently down my cheek.
“Arbiel cana,” I repeat, bringing a hand up to stroke the back of his head to comfort him. The same way I have always done since he was just seven years old.
I hold him to me as I look toward my newest carving over his shoulder. It’s a younger version of Kade with a bright smile on his face. So innocent and free, full of life and love.
Before life happened and Rogures took his mate from him.
Seven
