Page 51 of The Hidden Falling
“Rhea,” Colten starts, his voice hesitant. I hate that they don’t want me to go and there is nothing I can do to ease it away.
“Look, we didn’t even know if we would make it out alive in The Deadlands, but we did. Just let me go and all will be well. As long as they keep Eridian secret, that’s all that matters to me, and that you are all safe.” I look down at my hands and pick the side of my finger before looking back up at them. “I have loved being here with you all,” I give them a small, sad smile as pain washes over their faces. “I will aim to come home if I can and it’s safe to do so. If I cannot return, then I accept that, and you all should too.”
“Is this your final decision?” Josh asks, knowing he won’t be able to talk me out of it.
I nod. “It’s my choice. I will do what it takes to protect you all. I owe each of you so much,” I tell them. “I owe you my life,”I say to Josh down the link, and his eyes shine with moisture before he looks away. “Let me do this, even if it’s the last thing I might do. I have lived many more years than I thought I would in the first place.” I blink my eyes, willing myself not to shed a single damn tear. “If I have to be punished for then so be it, I can handle it. I don’t think Darius will kill me, it would be too quick for his liking.” The male really has it out for me, but as long as it stays aimed atjustme, I will deal with whatever comes my way. I have to. “So, once he’s done with me, I can come home. The Highers won’t bother with me by then.” At least, I hope so.
“He’s always staring at you, you know?” Colten informs me, referring to Darius with a grimace on his face.
“Yeah,” I chuckle. “He’s plotting all the ways to make my life a misery.” I get up from my chair and throw down the papers. “I’m going to do my checks and finish this up later.” I round my desk and touch my cheek briefly to Josh’s before leaving my office. I need some space.
I head for the front door, put my boots on and then make my way to the deck. I reach my arms up as I walk toward the gardens, stretching out my achy muscles and groaning in relief at the feel of it. I don’t think it will be long until my heat fully kicks in now, and I’ll need to make sure I’m away from here when it happens. I don’t want to be around anyone and give in to temptation.
I never have, but I won’t take that chance.
Following the trail behind our storage cabin, I step between the trees behind it and enter our gardens. We plant vegetables back here, harvesting them every season when they’re ready. Most of the women spend a lot of time here. It’s quiet and the work keeps them busy, as well as the pups who play in the small clearing in its center. I make my way toward the pups playing, smiling softly at their newfound freedom. It wasn’t always like that for some, but they’re still young enough to hopefully not have many lasting effects from their life before here.
“Alpha!” they call out when they spot me, their faces lighting up as they rush toward me. I bend down, not reminding them to not call me by my title, and open my arms as they launch themselves at me.
I laugh, falling on my ass as they climb on me. “Hey, what are you guys up to?”
“We were just deciding who’s going to be the wolf and who’s going to be the rabbit,” Elijah tells me, bouncing on his feet as his light hair swishes on the top of his head.
“Hmm, is that so?” At their nod, I smile. I sit up, and they back away from me, getting ready. “Well, I’ll count to ten, and if you little rabbits aren’t hidden enough, I’ll gobble you up!”
“Quick, let’s go!” Leah squeals, her hair swirling around her as she grabs Oscar’s little hand and runs. Elijah and Nathen take off in another direction while Lacy hobbles over to her mom deeper in the garden, her little legs taking her as fast as she can go. I’m about to start counting when I notice Samantha sitting on her own near one of the garden patches, looking ahead of her but seeing nothing. I wander over to her slowly, not wanting to frighten her and take a seat, unbothered about the dirt beneath me.
“Hey,” I say softly to her. “You doing okay?” She nods, her head bobbing slowly before picking at the dirt in front of her, her hair shielding her face from me. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Even things you don’t want your mom to know about.” She stays silent, not answering me, and I lift my head to the sky, trying to think of a way to get her to open up.
I’ve noticed she’s been withdrawn since the fire when I told her the story of the Canaric wolves. My only guess is memories are haunting her from the time before she and her mom came here with how she questions why the Gods didn’t protect her. I feel at a loss as she continues to pick up dirt in her hands and then let it fall through her fingers. I don’t know why she wasn’t protected as she should have been, or her mother. It’s the case for most of us here. We were let down by our own. We were in pain because of our own.
I breathe through my sudden rage, and Runa perks her ears up.
I move my hand and take one of hers in mine gently, dirt and all. She startles, and I bring an arm around her, drawing her closer to me, not letting her go. I hear her sniffle, and I squeeze her tighter, resting my head on top of hers. I hate seeing any of the pups upset, but I have an extra soft spot for Sam. She reminds me of myself sometimes. She deals with her pain on her own, silent in her hurt because she doesn’t want to bother anyone else. Not knowinghowto bother anyone else with it. Her mom might have been there and experienced what they both went through in their home, but Sam saw things through different eyes. She experienced things a kid should never have to have seen or heard or felt.
I hold her there for a while as her quiet sniffles become less and less, and I’m just grateful I can be something for her. To shield her from anyone else coming near her while she’s vulnerable, while she lets out a little pain and shares it with me. I didn’t have this at her age. The comfort or care of another. I just had four walls and a monster or five that came to visit.
Until Josh.
“Is she okay?”Kade’s voice suddenly sounds in my head, and I turn and see him at the storage cabin watching us. He looks tired, his shoulders tense as he waits for my reply.
“Yeah, she just needed a moment.”I smile softly at him, and he relaxes a little.
I haven’t seen him since he went off into the forest. It was only days ago, but it feels longer. We are drifting apart, and I have no idea how to stop it, how to keep him closer to me like he used to be. I miss the days he would run up to me smiling as he told me about his adventures in the forest that day, or how he caught his dinner and waved his hands around as he talked excitedly.
Those days feel like a lifetime ago.
He looks between me and Sam, a grin about to spread wide before he tenses up again.“When we went and talked to Solvier...”he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, showing he’s clearly uncomfortable.
“Don’t mention it,”I say when he doesn’t continue.“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here. Always.”He nods his head at me before looking down.
We both know he won’t talk to me.
“Tell her she can come for a walk with me if she wants,”he mutters after a few moments when Sam’s last sniffle reaches me.
“Really?”He likes being alone a lot, but then he and Sam have a different bond than he does with anyone else, so I shouldn’t be surprised.
At his nod, I look down at Sam. I nudge her with my shoulder, and red puffy eyes meet mine. I smile at her and flick my head in Kade’s direction. Her brows scrunch up before following my gaze. Her face instantly lights up when she sees him, quickly getting to her feet and running toward him. I stand, dusting myself off and watch as she dives for him, hugging him close.
