Page 39 of One Night Only
I shrug again, offering a sad smile. “My body was destroyed. Ravaged by treatment, burned from radiation, and then ruined with surgery. I had a reconstruction, but I have… no nipples, and so many horrible scars. Insideandout.” I tug at a lock of my hair. “And this is as much as my hair has grown in just over a year. Before cancer it was so long and pretty.” I frown at the memory, taking another conciliatory sip of wine, knowing my hair will never be what it was. “My feet hurt almostallthe time because I have chronic neuropathy from the chemo.
“Oh, and I’m in medical menopause. And because of the hormone therapy, I had to freeze my eggs in case I can never conceive naturally. I’m basically a sixty-five-year-old woman in a thirty-five-year old’s slightly mangled body.”
Dallas says nothing, just stares at me with this appraising look in his eyes.
“But I’m alive.” I force a smile, despite the tears stinging myeyes. “Sometimes I feel bad… selfish for feeling sorry for myself, because I know I’m lucky to be alive. It could’ve been a lot worse. I could not be here. But sometimes it’s just a lot. Sometimes I think maybe things would have been better if I—” I stop myself, pressing my lips together, unable to say those words out loud.
Dallas suddenly pushes up from the blanket, his gaze unwavering as he studies me in a way that’s so intense it feels almost like it’s too much.
Slowly, he reaches for my glass, taking it from me and placing it onto the coffee table before shifting closer until there’s nothing more than a hairbreadth between us, his big hands cupping my cheeks, holding me right where I am.
“There is so much I want to say to you right now in response to the fucking heartbreaking things you just told me, Emily,” he whispers, his voice laced with a raw emotion I wasn’t expecting. He presses his forehead against mine, gaze darting between my eyes. “Like how wrong you are, and how, despite all your doubts, you’re beautiful, and perfect, and stronger than anyone I know, and that every single thing about you takes my fucking breath away.”
I close my eyes, feeling tears trickle down my cheeks.
“Please look at me.” His words are barely a whisper.
With a trembling breath, I open my eyes again, looking straight into his.
“I’m not going to pressure you to do anything you’re not comfortable doing.” He steadies me with a piercing look, continuing, “But when you’re ready, I will be right here. I’m not going anywhere, Goldie.”
“Dallas?” I swallow my trepidation around the ball of uncertainty lodged in the back of my throat, terrified to say what I want to say, but knowing I have to say it.
“Yeah, baby.” He wipes my tear tracks with the pads of his thumbs.
“Can you please just—” I whisper, breathing him in, staring deep into his jade gaze as I search for my words. “Can youplease… be with me? Now? I just need to forget. Even if only for the night.”
He stares at me, the flames of the fire reflecting in his eyes as a slow smile ghosts his lips. “I’ve got you, Goldie,” is all he says before his hand wraps around the back of my head, holding me right there as his lips crash against mine in a bruising kiss that takes every last part of my breath away.
CHAPTER 17
DALLAS
I’ve never gotten lost in a kiss before. I’ve never felt that all-consuming rush of warmth from just kissing. I’ve never felt a kiss all the way through to my core. And yet, right now, as my lips move in perfect sync with Emily’s, tongues dancing together, as I feel the tension ease from her body, if all I could have for the rest of my life was this one kiss, I’d die a happy man.
I know I need to talk to her about everything she just told me. And I will. But right now, I know exactly what she needs. She needs me. She needs to forget. And she needs to feel. It’s in the way she inches closer, in the way her fingers grab my hair, holding me right where I am like if she doesn’t, I might disappear into thin air. It’s in the needy little sounds she makes. Fuck, I am a goner for this woman.
Reaching for her, I don’t break our kiss as I place both my hands under her ass, pulling her up and onto me in one easy move so she’s straddling my thighs. I deepen the kiss, thrusting my tongue into her mouth in filthy, depraved licks, but when she grinds against my rock-hard cock straining inside my gym shorts, she tears her lips away just enough to suck in a gasp that combines with a whimper, and my dick throbs. Fuck, she’s wet; Ican feel her damp heat through her panties, and I swear to all that is holy, it takes everything I have not to blow my goddamn load.
Emily grinds against me again and again. And again. Whimpering a little louder each time. She tips her head back, and I take advantage, peppering slow, wet kisses against her throat, biting and sucking the sensitive skin, laying my tongue flat and licking the trigger point I know makes her toes curl.
“Ohmygod,” she pants, grinding harder.
She’s using me to chase her orgasm, and this is the hottest thing I’ve ever done with my pants still on. I am all fucking for it.Use me, baby. Use the fuck outta me.I palm her ass, gripping her tight, grinding her harder into me to give her more of the friction she wants and, yeah, it feels fucking amazing, but this isn’t about me. This is all about her.
Her tongue delves into my mouth and I greedily swallow her sounds as she continues rocking against me. Trailing my hands from her ass and under the jersey she’s wearing—myfucking jersey—my fingers dance up her back. Up and down, skating over soft, smooth skin, and with each pass, I edge closer and closer to her sides before my hands are coasting up over her ribs, to the swell of her breasts, testing her. I barely graze the undersides before she stops me, her hands gently pushing mine away.
Breaking the kiss, she pauses her movements, looking down at me through dazed, heavily hooded eyes as she whispers, “I’m sorry.”
My brows pull together and I quickly shake my head, turning my hands in hers so we’re palm-to-palm, fingers twining. “Don’t you ever fucking apologize for stopping me. You got that?”
A shuddering breath falls from her kiss-swollen lips, but she nods.
“Tell me what you want, Goldie,” I urge, shifting my hips in an attempt to encourage her own. Pressing my lips against her hot spot, I murmur against her skin, “Whatever you need, youcan have it. Right now. I’ll give anything you fucking want, baby.”
“I need to… to come,” she manages on a breathy moan, her hips meeting mine again. “Please, Dallas.”
Fuck. Me. I squeeze my eyes closed at the sound her of pleading words and my fucking name as it falls from her lips, so needy, so desperate. I’m forced to take a moment to steel myself because the big guy downstairs is hanging on by a frayed fucking thread.
