Page 37 of Second Chance Ex
I shook my head vehemently. “No. Prue, no!”
I reached for her hand so quick I almost knocked my water glass over. I took both of her hands in mine, holding them tight, imploring her with my eyes. “I don’t want to break up. Not ever. It’s you and me forever, remember, baby? Always.”
She blinked at me, clearly confused, and hell, who could blame her? I didn’t even really know what I was trying to say, because fuck, I’ve never been good with my words. Always messing up and saying the wrong shit when I don’t mean to.
“Prue, baby, it’s my final season. This is it. I need to focus now more than I ever have before.” I searched her face for anysign that she was picking up what I was really trying to tell her. “I don’t wanna break up. Never.”
“But you want abreak?” Her eyes bounced between mine. “A break fromus.”
I huffed a frustrated breath, dropping one of her hands only so I could pinch the bridge of my nose because I was royally fucking this up in the worst possible way. It was like a trainwreck and it felt like all I could do was watch.
“No. I mean-No. I don’t want to break anything. I just… I don’t want us to see other people. Ever. Fuck, I can’t even stand the idea of you being with someone who isn’t me; even just the thought of it fucking kills me,” I muttered under my breath.
Prue shook her head. “I—I don’t understand, Joey.”
I closed my eyes, considering my words more than I ever had before. On an exhale, I looked at her again, met those big tawny eyes and finally just said what I’d been skirting around for the last twenty minutes. “I don’t know if I can commit to football the way that I need to right now, without… neglecting you…us. This.” I waved my hand between the two of us.
Prue’s brows pinched together; eyes narrowing.
“There are only a few games left. And then postseason… if we make it.” I shrugged, knowing damn well we were gonna make the playoffs. Hell, we were expected to make it to the championship. But a few games sounded better than potentially nine. “If I wanna be invited to the combine, then I need to focus, baby.”
Prue didn’t say anything, just nodded. And maybe it was pure naiveté of me to think she was agreeing with me. But, I continued, regardless. Like a goddamn fool.“I’ll still Facetime you every day, baby. Ineedto see that face; it’s what keeps me going. I’ll continue to text you like your ownpersonal stalker. I still want to be with you, Prue. I just can’t… I can’t be the guy youneedme to be right now.”
At that, her head snapped up, and she stared at me for a moment, the look in her eyes one I’d never seen before.Oh shit.
I instinctively cowered beneath her gaze as she pushed back from the table and stood abruptly, grabbing her purse. I knew right then, with the way she was looking down at me, almost as if I was a stranger or at the very least someone she barely knew, I had officially fucked everything up.
“I don’tneedyou to be anything, Joey. I never have.” Her voice trembled. “I want you. And I want you to want me the way I want you, but if you want football more, then—” She shook her head, seemingly searching for the words.
Don’t say it, baby. Please don’t say it.
“Then I’m not going to stand in your way, Joey. I’m done competing for your love against a goddamn game!”
Prue turned on her heel and stormed out of the restaurant, much to the surprise of the waiter she nearly plowed down on her way. And I just sat there, like an idiot, staring at the space she’d just vanished from, her words swirling through my mind.
I was losing her. I was losing my girl because I’m an idiot.
I quickly pulled my wallet from the pocket of my jeans, threw some cash on the table to cover the starters we’d ordered but not eaten, and then I jumped up out of my seat like my ass was on fire. I ran as if my life depended on it. Because, quite frankly, it kind of did. I couldn’t lose Prue; she was my whole world.
I shakemy head at the painfully fresh memory of what just happened back at the restaurant, racking my brain with what I could’ve, should’ve but ultimately didn’t do to stop from fucking everything up. I don’t know how I’d been expecting that to go down. But I certainly didn’t want her here, crying beside me in the car on the way back to her dorm, thinking I don’t want her. Thinking I don’t need her like I need goddamn air in my lungs. Thinking I’d rather play football over be with her. The truth is, I want football more than anything; but if someone were to say to me ‘you need to choose between football and Prue Watson, right now’, I’d choose Prue every goddamn day for the rest of my life. I’m doing this for her. For us. I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I want to be able to provide for her. I want to give Prue the life she deserves, and dammit, football’s the only thing I know how to do in my life.
“Talk to me,” I say, my throat gravelly. “Please.”
She doesn’t though—doesn’t say a thing. And I’m not sure what comes over me. Maybe it’s the fear of losing the girl I love with my whole heart, I don’t know, but I find myself pulling off the side of the road, slamming my brakes on with such haste the tires skid over the gravel.
Prue turns to me. I can feel her eyes on me as I take a moment staring straight ahead. My heart races, slams hard against my ribs. My breaths are heavy and quick and shallow. I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. So, I do all I can. I unfasten my seatbelt and hop out of my truck, race around the hood, pulling open the passenger door with such gusto I almost rip the damn thing off its hinges.
Prue’s eyes are wide as she stares at me, clearly bewildered and maybe even a little terrified like she thinks I might turf her out and leave her here on the side of the road. She looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. And maybe I have. Maybe the thought of losing her—reallylosing her—has tipped me over the proverbial edge. I will not lose Prue. She’s my everything. She’s fuckingmine.
“You’re choosing football over me.Again.” Her words are muttered, and I get the distinct feeling she’d hoped I didn’t just hear her. But I did. Loud and painfully clear.
“Prue, baby—” I’m stopped when she finally meets my eyes, and I see that heartbreaking torment deep in her gaze.
“You chose football when you went off to Ohio. And now you’re choosing it again. But goddamn you, Joey Tanner. I love you. And I hate that you keep choosing football over me, but I hate the thought of losing you even more.” She chews on her trembling bottom lip, and that’s all it takes.
“I’m not choosing football over you, Prue.” I consider my words, trying real hard not to say the wrong thing. “I wanted to be up front with you tonight because the last thing I want is to go through all this and then in the end, not have you by my side.”
She stares at me, her eyes darting between mine.
