Page 73 of Second Chance Ex
I decide to cut him some slack, and speak first. “Did you sleep with her?”
A muscle in his cheek tics as his jaw clenches, and a few seconds pass before he nods tersely.
I knew already—I just wanted to see him admit it—but, of course, it still kills me.
“Was it worth it?”
He finally regards me then, his eyes meeting mine, brows pinched together. “No,” he says, as if he can’t believe I just asked him that.
I scoff, looking out the window at the golden wash of the sun as it sinks behind the hills.
“It was a mistake, Prue,” Joey whispers.
“A mistake?” I laugh bitterly, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry.” He shifts on the bed, moving closer, and from my periphery I see his hand reach for me. And although the last thing I want right now is to feel his hands which, last night, touched another woman, I don’t move because I’m rendered frozen, stuck in one place like a heavy weight.
“Prue, if I could take it back, I would. In a heartbeat,” he continues, his hand gripping my knee, thumb stroking me through the slightly threadbare cotton of my sweats. “It meantnothing. I was drunk out of my mind, and I know that’s not an excuse, but I was, and I was fucking emotional, and she was there for me, and I—” His words cut short when I snap my gaze to his.
“She wastherefor you?”
His tongue rolls out over his bottom lip, followed by his teeth raking painfully over the top. And I know, from the look in his eyes, he realizes that what he just said was possibly the worst thing he could have ever said.
I push his hand away. “Well, I’m glad she wastherefor you Joey, because no one has been here for me.”
Joey’s jaw drops, his eyes wide and incredulous. Hepractically jumps up off the bed and starts pacing the length of the room, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Are you serious right now, Prue? No one has beenherefor you?” He stops, turning to me, his arms held out wide. “What the fuck do you call this? I’ve been nothing but here for you. Me!” He punches himself in his chest so hard it thunders through the silence. “I have been here, and all you’ve done is push me away over and over again.”
I don’t argue with him. In fact, my shoulders shrink in recognition because he’s right.
Joey has been here for me, driving from Sacramento any and every chance he gets, constantly texting me and calling me when I’ve refused to see him. He came down to Fresno to be at my graduation even though the day before he’d had surgery on his wrist and he was hopped up on painkillers. He even surprised me with a graduation trip to Cabo, which I spent the whole four days practically ignoring him. I’ve not only pushed Joey away every time he’s tried to be here for me over the last year, but I’ve also gone out of my way to be downright awful to him.
Tearing his hands through his hair, Joey heaves a heavy sigh, continuing, “I can count the times you’ve kissed me, during the last year, on one hand. One hand, Prue. You never touch me, and God help me if I try to touch you; you recoil like I’m diseased. You can hardly even stand to look at me, and when you do, there’s something in your eyes that makes me seriously wonder if you even like me anymore, Prue. I watched this happen to my parents. The loss of my sister tore them apart. And now it’s happening again. Tous.”
I pull my knees up, hugging them to my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I manage through a trembling sob, tears hitting my cheeks. “I’m just… I’m sad, Joey.”
“I know you’re sad,” he says, softening a little. But I notice he doesn’t approach me like he would have not so long ago. He’s keeping his distance. I can’t say I blame him.
“You don’t understand.” I sniffle, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “No one understands. I lost something that was a part of me. It diedinsideofme, and it was ripped out of me and tossed in the trash, like garbage.”
“I know, Prue. I know. And I wish more than anything that I could take away that pain for you. I will never understand how you feel. But I’m hurting too. Every goddamn day I hurt.” He slams a fist against the top of my dresser. “Because the thing is Prue, I didn’t just lose my baby, I lost you, too, and my heart has been in fucking pieces every day since. I’ve lost everyone in my life I’ve ever loved. My parents. My sister. My baby. And now you…”
Staring at nothing in the air in front of me, I chew on my bottom lip, tasting the salt of my tears as they fall freely, listening to his gut-wrenching words that hurt my chest because they’re heartbreakingly true.
Joey suddenly appears in front of me, having dropped down to his knees on the floor by my bed, ducking down and forcing my eyes to his. “Do you still love me, Prue?”
“I’ll always love you,” I say quietly, without even missing a beat.
The tension in his broad shoulders appears to ease some.
And it’s that apparent relief that makes the wordsburn on my tongue burn like acid, as I say, “But you said it yourself, J… I think we’re done.”
His head snaps up, his eyes boring into me. “W-what?”
Unable to witness the pain rack through him, I blink and turn away, staring out the window once more. “We’re done.”
