Page 36 of Depths of Desire
I had dreamed of him. Over and over. Woken up sweating, hard, aching from wanting someone I’d convinced myself I could live without.
And here he was. Real and close, cheeks flushed and eyes glimmering with the light of the streetlamps.
He didn’t speak at first. He just looked at me, hands in the pocket of his hoodie, like he didn’t trust them out in the open.
I was the first to break. “Boyfriend?”
He snorted. “Rhett? Hell no. Roommate.”
I nodded. I hoped I hid the relief that washed over me. “You working out here now?”
He gave a slow blink, like the question offended him with its smallness. “Sometimes,” he said. “I came with Rhett to spot him.” His voice was rough, guarded. Then he added, “It’s allowed. Right?”
I flinched. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
The air between us cracked, cold and crisp. My pulse was a hammer in my ears. My throat ached with unsaid things.
“You look tired,” he said.
I barked a short, joyless laugh. “Thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You mean like ‘you look like you’re falling apart and pretending you’re fine’?”
Lennox didn’t smile. “Yeah. Something like that.”
I couldn’t hold his gaze. It burned too much. I looked at the sidewalk instead, where our shoes stood pointed toward each other like they hadn’t gotten the message that this was over.
“You didn’t have to avoid me,” he said after a beat.
“I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“You’ve practically vanished from half the campus.”
“That’s not about you.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay. Then what is it about?”
I didn’t answer.
He waited a second longer, then exhaled through his nose. “Right.”
There was that edge in his voice. Not anger. Not really. Just…something hollow. Like someone had opened a door inside him and let the warmth escape.
“You didn’t even say goodbye,” he added. “After the cabin. After all of that. You just…disappeared. But I get it. A text message, a flight back here, it’s kind of part of the deal, huh?”
“I couldn’t afford not to,” I said. It came out sharper than I intended.
He nodded again, slower this time. “Yeah. We’ve established that.”
The hurt was there. Underneath the steady tone, under the brave line of his mouth. He was trying to be proud and untouchable. He was trying to act like it hadn’t mattered. That it didn’t still matter.
But I could see it.
And worse, I could feel it.
