Page 9 of No Right To Love You
“Yes, do you know mine?”
“Yes, it’s Ocean.” Her smile comes out and at this moment, I can’t see anything else. She’s so beautiful.
“What’s your last name?” I ask her.
“Evans.”
I don’t say anything for a moment, and I know it doesn’t get awkward, it just gets much quieter. Easier as if this was all I had to do; to sit here with her while she held my bloodied hands in hers.
January chuckles. “What?” She doesn’t have any patience.
“January Mahoe.”
“Does that mean something?” She asks with her eyes big and yearning for the answer.
“Yes, it means, I’m going to marry you.” I say with confidence. “I’m going to change and come back to marry you.”
“I can’t marry someone this mad at the world.”
“You won’t. I’ll show you that I’m done with it all. I don’t want it anymore, anyway. Not the rage, the pain, the parents, or the fear of never being seen again.”
In her eyes, I see that she finally understands. Sheisn’tmaking any assumptions nor is she asking for elaboration. She just takes her first aid kit that she brought with her and begins to clean my wounds.
I know in this second, in this space… something set me free. She did and I choose to remain the man she married.
I sigh and stop the car. That memory was something and I know myself, I’m just making myself fall more in love with herover and over. Lately, I’ve been feeling like this isn’t what she wants anymore but then I remember how tight she held my hands and I know deep down inside, that isn’t it. That I have every right to love her just like I loved her when she sat outside with me.
January is my lifeline.
Chapter 8
January
Cupcakes.I’m drowning in cupcakes and ignoring my phone because of my Zoe… I hear the door open and shut with a huge thud and I know it’s Jeremy. He likes to leave everything on a trail as he makes his way to the kitchen. Once he reaches the kitchen, he stops and looks at me with wide eyes.
“Mom!” he runs to me and doesn’t care that I’m covered in flour.
“Hi Jer!” I respond to him and make sure that he knows I'm just as excited to see him. “I’ve missed these hugs. How was school?” I ask.
“It was great. I’m going to wash my hands and come help you!”
Jeremy loves to bake, and I know that it’s his way of bonding. He doesn’t like to express everything, instead, he does it through his cooking. He says he doesn’t want to be a chef and he enjoys numbers more than cooking but since it's all numbers to him, he enjoys it.
“Okay, baby. Where’s Jaz?”
“She should be in soon. She’s talking to Darla outside.” Jeremy rolls his eyes.
I laugh because while Jeremy is annoyed by Darla, the next-door neighbor and Jasmine’s best friend, Darla has the biggest crush on Jeremy. It’s a funny dynamic and something Ocean and I laugh about all the time.
“Okay, let her get some time in with her friend.”
Jeremy smiles and gives me another quick hug before he runs upstairs forgetting his things like he usually does. I sigh and wash my hands waiting for him, I begin to pick up after him and I smile. I missed this. Not picking up after him but seeing my kids when they first come back from school so they could fill me in with all those damned ridiculous stories from school.
The world of innocence. A time where you can enjoy things just because. Become whatever and your dreams aren’t shattered. I miss seeing the joy they have when they first see me somewhere in the house rather than me slowly creeping in their rooms to kiss them goodnight hours later.
My phone rings again and this time, I can’t ignore it. When I look at it, I know it’s dad.
“Hello?”
