Page 6 of No Right To Love You
I switch from the Home Screen to my messages.
Me: baby, what the hell!
By the time the trip was over, Zoe forgot about the crying and how her mom didn’t show up. I know she misses her and so do I.
I should reply to her message about being sorry and not answering. I should also pick up her calls but I’m not in the mood. I promised her that I wouldn’t be the kind of man I usedto be before her. I grew up angry, angrier than most kids, but I got help for it and I’m better.
Every day, I choose calmness over anger, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not angry at my wife. I’m disappointed. We’ve worked so hard together to give our children and ourselves a good life. Better than what we each got but yet here we are… breaking for reasons that we shouldn’t be.
It’s alright.
January knows her husband very well and if I can predict her next moves, she’s somehow found a way to get home early. She’s waiting for me at the house, ready for me to ask her what the hell is going on.
My cell pings again while I walk Zoe back to her classroom. She’s happy because now she’s got her face half painted as a cheetah and she saw the one animal she’s obsessed with in person, the gorilla.
I don’t know her fascination over gorillas, but I’ll let her keep that gorilla backpack she has on. Good luck to everyone in the house because she definitely is wearing it to sleep, bringing it into the bathroom with her and she’ll try to pretend it’s part of her body. I shake my head as I try not to laugh.
“Okay, go ahead, small girl. Go to class.”
“Love you, daddy bear.” She gives me a hug and runs into her class joining the rest of them.
My cell pings again and I take a look at it.
January-February: I’m sorry that I missed the call. I really was trying to go on the trip, but I showed up too late.
January-February: I’ll be waiting at home for you. I know you’re upset with me.
Me: as long as you know.
Whatever else she had to say, I’d tell it to her face instead of continuing this during text.
Chapter 6
January
As soon asI looked at my cell and those missed calls, I knew my husband was angry with me and not only that, but I failed my little Zoe. When my secretary told me that my father fielded all my calls, it made me mad. I shouldn’t have gone into work in the first place, but we had one of our biggest clients and I just wanted to oversee things.
Being back changed something in me after years of not always being here. I tried hard to show that having kids and being able to keep up with the clients wouldn’t be a bother. It was a stupid cycle that I wanted to break but unfortunately, my father was stuck in his old ways. He loved his grandkids, but he knew how to separate that and work, just like he would separate me being his daughter with being my boss.
Now…I am mad and very much had it with my father. He micromanages and he’s been doing it all our lives. Me and my sister, Aisha. Matthew Evans the third doesn’t like anything out of order so when I got pregnant with Zoe just as he was about to make me partner, he freaked. It wasn’t easy for him to see that his shining star, January, wasn't going to be who he planned her out to be and then he practically left me where I was; not makingme partner just because he felt I didn’t stick to his schedule and his rules. Now, he was punishing me.
I took a deep breath in and released another as I drove home. I was too mad to figure out what my father had to say so I packed up and left. I knew that it wasn’t going to go over well with him but when I heard the voicemail that Zoe’s teacher left, I wanted to cry. I made her a promise and I didn’t keep it. Just like with Jaz and Jeremy. I did that and I had to fix it.
The hardest one wasn't going to be with the kids or my Dom. Nope, it was going to be my husband. It’s easier for my kids because they know that I love them, and I can make it up to them. With my Dom, he knows, and I know our dynamics. We know what we have to do. But My husband isn’t so forgiving… he won’t just let up. This is why I have to change things around. I have to figure out what to do for my husband to see that none of this was done on purpose.
Thankfully, when I pulled up home, he wasn’t there and when I texted, his dry response let me know clearly what was on his mind.
And now, here he comes, I hear his heavy footfall through the foyer leading down the hall straight into the kitchen. When Ocean steps in the kitchen, I hand him a glass of water and he gets spooked.
“What the hell, woman!” Ocean yells out. “Scared the heck out of me. Why are you creeping on me like that?”
Him having this moment to be frightened pulls a laugh out of me and he almost breaks but Ocean cocks his brow causing my laughing to stop. He takes the glass and sits across from me on one of the stools circling the kitchen island.
I understand why Ocean is upset with me. He’s a primal Dom mixed in with a white knight Dom. While we enjoy as he chases me and pins me down driving into me pulling my hair andgrowling in my ear… he also likes to solve my problems, protect, and dote on me like a white knight.
That’s what drives him nuts about right now. He can’t solve what my father is pushing me to do at work and it’s frustrating to him.
One thing Ocean and I fully learned with each other when we joined the lifestyle was what kept us balanced. What worked for us. He wanted to do what made me happy and what he did for me made me want him more. The way he loved me made me love him more. The care, dedication and consideration was all that I needed from Ocean. Then he gave me three beautiful children and my heart not only expanded but it exploded with love. A love so pure and divine that I knew only he could have provided to me.
