Page 14 of No Right To Love You
“I know, I know…” she reaches over, patting my hand while we sit on her bench. When I was younger, we’d sit here and swing while she told me about her home. Our home, Hawai’i. “Just know that I’m not mad at your decision. What you decided to do was best for your children and I respect that. I respect you, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, but …” I wait for her to say something else.
“I have nothing else to say. Look, I know that we’ve been through some things and I after everything, I just want my son back. You’re my baby boy.”
“How am I supposed to believe that ma?”
Before my mother can say what, she had to say, the door opens and out steps my dad.
“Ocean? Son?”
“No.” I stand and place my cup down. “I’m leaving.”
“Wait, no, no, Ocean, I’ll tell him to go back inside. Don’t leave, baby.”
“Son, wait…”
“Ma, no, what am I supposed to say? I told you I didn’t want to see him and if I did, I would leave right?”
“Yes, yes you did.” My mom stands and softly holds my hand. “Please, wait, I’ll tell him to go back inside. He won’t come back out.” She begs me and I don’t like that she’s begging me.
“No, mother, you shouldn’t be begging me like this. To talk to me. This is why I didn’t want to come around because it would be like this. I don’t need you begging for your son to stay and see you. Just because of him!” I grit through my teeth. “No.” I say taking a step back because my anger is rising again and I’m losing control. I don’t like that... “No.” I shake my head.
“Wait, Ocean, no, don’t leave. Let’s figure something out where I can see you without dad. I promise he won’t be there.” she says, and I can see the sadness in her eyes.
“I won’t be there, son. Just see your mother.” my father says.
“Do not talk to me.” I address my father. “You do not do that.” I point to my dad. “There’s nothing that you have to say that I have to listen to right now. My time to listen to you was when you were busy making me feel low.”
“Listen, son, I’m sorry. Just listen to me. I mean it when I say I’m sorry. I’m not going to force you to talk to me or anything like that. I just want you to know that I’m not that man anymore. Things are different now. Your mother forgave me, and I worked hard for her to know that. I can show you too. Just give me a chance. I want to be a good father now or even, even...” he stumbles to get his words out. “I can be a good grandfather and father-in-law.”
“You will not be around my kids. Ever!” I step up to him and mom comes in between us.
“Ocean, son, please. Don’t.”
“Ma, I need to go.”
“Son, please. Just give me a chance.”
“I said no, and you will not push me to change my mind, do we understand each other?” I ask him. “Do we!” I get louder.
“Fine, Ocean, fine!” Dad yells back. “I just wanted to get to know you and January again.”
“Don’t ever speak her name again. You do not deserve to speak to or of her. I still haven’t forgotten what you did on our wedding night. I will never forget.”
Dad lifts his hands in surrender, and I shake my head disappointed that I got this mad. He should never get me this mad.
“Ma, I’ll call you.” I give my mom a kiss on the temple and walk away, not bothering to say anything else.
Chapter 12
January
“Mommy!”Zoe runs into the house calling my name out.
I know the nanny probably told her I was home.
“Zoe!” I yell out as I open my arms for her to hug me.
