Page 43 of Caged Heart
Fear clenched like a tight first around my chest at her words. A tendril of panic seized me.
Did she mean it or was she messing with me? Did she only say it because she felt sad for what I experienced? My chest heaved to the point that I groaned with each breath. A weight seemed to press on it, robbing me of breath. My heart thudded louder and louder. The ache in my chest almost seemed to explode as panic engulfed me. My heart thumped against my rib cage, fighting for space with the air frozen in my lungs. As I felt the panic attack coming full force, I was pulled back by the vibrations again. How the fuck does this girl keep doing that?
Goldilocks: I know it’s sudden and it seems out of nowhere, but even if you don’t want to discuss it, I saw you on that table. The fear, the anger, the need to protect you… through all of that I saw it, Ares. I saw you and I knew. Monica says I shouldn’t have told you but I don’t care. I want you to know that someone out there wants to see you…
Goldilocks: someone misses you and wants to hold you. I want to comfort you and be there for you. I want to be that person. You said that I was your girl and to never play with your feelings, and I swear Ares I’m not. Please believe me.
Goldilocks: I mean it.
There it was again… the scent of jasmine behind every soft word she sent me, the sweetness amid all my chaos…Beyond my caged, panicked heart.
What am I going to do with you, pretty girl?
Me: My pretty girl.
That was all I could respond with so she knew I acknowledged it. That I accepted her feelings, but I needed a moment. Just one thought, not too many.
Chapter30
Ares
Ididn’t want to leave his room but had to. Mars would’ve done the same if he were awake and I was in the bed but had to go see her. There was this ache deep within me. One that couldn’t be satisfied until I saw, touched, kissed, and damn near tore her world apart again.
When I walked into my apartment, it was quiet and late so I knew Monica and Carmen were asleep. I should’ve gone to Carmen first but if I went to her, I wouldn’t have checked up on Monica because I would want to be buried deep inside Carmen.
Slowly, I open Carmen’s door to find both of them in bed, cuddling together.
I smirked as I moved in closer and Monica was the first to open her eyes.
“Ares?” She whispered.
Without much thought, I crouched down to her level and moved her curly hair out of her face.
“Are you okay, Moni? I’m so sorry for everything.”
“Oh Ares.” Immediately, she sat up right before she hugged me, she observed me. My cuts that were stitched up, my swollen eye and whatever other bruises I had. Then , she wrapped her arms around my neck as she cried. Sobbing as though her life had been over and I can understand how that is.
She was afraid, and I was afraid for them both.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Monica, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re okay.”
Monica shook her head as she tightly held onto me. “No, no, it’s not okay.” She said and my heart sank, but before I could speak, she rubbed my head. “I didn’t know, Ares. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
My entire being froze but I couldn’t pull away. Something kept me in her embrace, and maybe it was because Monica was someone that I cherished. A friend that I knew I would always be friends with and her knowing everything and feeling bad for me made me feel shame.
Shame that I no longer was that strong person she knew and that I allowed things to happen to me. I wanted to tell her I fought hard but it was pointless. He always won even though I got the chance to fight him back, it wasn’t the same.
“S’okay.” I said to Monica, but she shook her head.
“Mars…” she said softly. “Is he okay? Did he wake up? I’m so sorry about him too.”
“No, he’s not awake yet but trust me, he would do anything for you. Anything.” I repeated. This wasn’t some lie that I was giving to Monica, it was the truth. A truth that both Mars and I could never dispute.
“Thank you, Ares. Thank you.” Monica replied and held me close for another moment, kissing my cheek before she let me go.
When I stood, my eyes found Carmen’s. She was sitting up, watching us but no words escaped her lips. She gave me a small smile as I stretched my hand towards her, and she took it without question and exited the bed, coming to me.
“You’ll be okay?” Carmen asked Monica.
