Page 52 of Caged Heart
"And that's why I shouldn't have told her, given her hope that I could give her what you give her too. I can't."
"Yes, you can. You forget that I know you too well, Motherfucker. Just like how I knew you were getting close to her to get a reaction out of me, it was for your benefit too. You would have never touched her while she was facing you if you weren't in love with her. You probably loved her before I did, but you couldn't fight your demons, and that's okay. This shit takes time. We don't have anything but that now. You've already put it in her mind, so she will always think about it. Plus, we have to protect her from her sicko stepfather. He made her cry."
"What did he do!" Mars asked as he opened his eyes. Tears were forgotten as all thoughts went into protective mode. "What is it with that dude and her mother? Why can't they just give that girl a break? It wasn't enough that they took her damned rent money!"
Mars sat up and started to get out of bed, but I stood, stopping him.
"Chill. We got this, and just not at this second. Look at you. You won't be any good. Just wait."
"Don't do anything without me, Ares."
"Yeah, yeah."
I couldn't tell him every detail because Mars wasn't rational like I was then. He's proved repeatedly that he didn't think with his head but with his fucking heart that still beat strong as ever.
The silence returned, and without thinking too much about it, I said what I wanted to tell him when he was slipping away in my arms.
"Time after time, brother," I said to him, and Mars lightly chuckled, then groaned.
"Time after time, Motherfucker."
Something we used to say to each other in silence even after we had to hurt each other. Time after time, like that song, said. Although we forgot about the song and what those lyrics meant to each other, we remember now. We will always find, catch, and fight for each other.
Time after time, infinity.
Chapter38
Carmen
Monica and I gave the boys space as they sat with each other while we went to grab some coffee from the shop downstairs. Monica hadn't said a word to me, nor was I ready to say anything about what had happened. We had our time, and we knew eventually, we would have to open our mouths to say something to each other.
"So twins, huh?" Monica said, and I couldn't help it as I chuckled at the absurdity of it all.
Monica joined me, and then we finally calmed.
"We needed that," I admitted to her, and she nodded.
"We did," she sighed, then drank her coffee. "I love you, Carmi. I'm so happy you're here with me."
"I love you too, Moni. I don't think I would have been able to be okay right now if I didn't have you either."
We sat quietly for a bit, and then I stood out of my spot in the booth to sit by her. When I sat by Monica, I laid my head on her shoulder.
"Do you think Sarge was lying about Mom?"
"What do you mean?"
"The surgery? You think he just came around for the money?" I asked.
Monica was quiet for a moment as we held each other.
"I don't think he was lying. Sarge is a dirtbag, but for him to come around, he needs proof. Has she called you ever since then?"
"She has, but I've ignored it, and then after this whole time, I just haven't had the energy. I'll always love her, and I wish, I freaking wish so badly that she would just get some help, but at this point, I've accepted that she won't. Dad wouldn't have wanted this for her, even if I was too young to remember. I just know he wouldn't have wanted this. There's no way."
"Of course not, Carmi!" Monica stated as she squeezed my hand. "From everything you've told me about him, he wouldn't have wanted that either."
"Yeah, even if he is a fucking creep that I wish could go away for a long time."
