Page 42 of Hale's Pawn
“What!?” My mother stands, as if to do something. “What are you talking about?”
“Tasha…” my father calls her name softly. “Let him speak.”
“Why? So, he could spread more fucking lies? No!” she yells, losing her composure, something she never does in front of my father. “Leave my house, you’re disrespectful as hell.”
“Natasha!” my father yells her name out. “Sit. The. Fuck. Down so we can hear our guest. Everyone gets a chance to say something to me. If it's not true, then sit your ass here and wait. Fuck.” I look at my father’s expression. I don’t think I can put a word to it. He’s either mad or he doesn’t care. “Continue…” he says to Oran.
My mother tries to say something and my father gives her a look that could freeze even the scariest man.
My father nods at Oran to continue, “You know, when she slapped her at our wedding I was upset, but when I connected the pieces, I was disgusted by such a fucking monster who would hurt their own fucking child like that. She not only terrorized her, but she put her through hell, and what did you do about it? NOTHING! I don’t give a fuck if you shoot me in the fucking head, you will hear me when I say, when it comes to my wife, no one and I mean NO ONE will put their fucking hands on her again. So forgive me if I don’t want your wife, the pathetic excuse of a mother, to talk to her alone. She blemished her daughter’s skin, and for what? To be a fucking belle! To be the perfect ballerina, she made her repeat dances over and over until she puked? All on her fucking 18th birthday. She deserves to be happy. Why won’t you people let her be happy? Why can’t you support her in shit that she does?”
I grab his wrist tighter. “Oran...stop,” I whisper.
My father looks at me, my hand around Oran’s wrist, and then at my mother, who is barely batting an eyelash. “I will not sit here with this shit. You don’t come into my house and talk about us like you know us.” My mother gets up to walk away, again.
My father doesn’t say anything. He merely reaches behind him and places the gun on the table. My mother blanches. She’s standing there, not saying anything anymore. “Natasha, is this true?” my father asks calmly.
It kind of hurts my feelings that he didn’t ask me. “Why aren’t you actually asking Ain—,” Oran stops talking when my father puts his hand up. Smart.
“I’m talking to her. To my wife. To the woman that I chose to marry, to raise a fucking child with, and one that I trusted. I want to know if it’s true. Did you fucking put your hands on my daughter? On the one person that I love in this fucking world? Is that what you did?” There’s an icy tone to his words. “You touched her?”
My mother looks my father in the eye. “No,” she answers and my world breaks apart. How could she do this?
“Ainslee…” my father calls for my attention. “Show me.”
My tears pool my eyes.
“She doesn’t have to do shit,” Oran says.
My father almost smirks. “Out of respect for my daughter, I’m going to let that go.” He looks at me.
I let go of Oran’s wrist. I stand, turning to give them my back. I pull my t-shirt out of my jeans and I lift it up slowly. The room is quiet, you could hear a pin drop. I don’t know what to say. “Oran, take my daughter home.” I can feel my dad’s anger.
“Yes, sir,” Oran answers.
I fix myself and when I turn around, Mikonos is staring at his drink. He doesn’t have to look at me for me to know that he’s waiting…waiting for my dad’s word to act. I’ve never told him because I was protecting him. I didn’t want him to end up getting killed. He isn’t rational when it comes to me being hurt. I look at Markos. He just blankly stares at my mother, he’s going to kill her if my dad doesn’t do it himself.
“Do you remember what I said when Ainslee was born, Tasha?” my father speaks and Oran tries to pull me out of the room, but I don’t want to go.
My mother fixes her shoulders. “No, I don’t,” she says, still with an attitude. Mikonos stands up and spits on the floor next to her foot. My mother flinches, but I know she’s trying to pretend she’s not scared. Mikonos walks out of the room.
My father laughs and this isn’t my dad anymore, this is Andres Bishops, the man who will take you out in the worst possible way. His laughter turns my blood cold and I shiver. “Oran, I said take my FUCKING daughter out of the room!” his voice booms loudly.
Oran jumps into action and he takes me out of the room forcefully. I’m not hurt or anything, but I need to see what’s happening. We’re out of the eating area. I manage to slip out of Oran’s arms but he catches me again. He wraps his arms around me then I hear a slam on the table. I don’t know who did it but then I hear my mother’s voice. “Fuck you, Andres!” my mother yells and the world spins on its axis. “You never loved me. You loved her more than me. I competed for your love with a fucking child. You gave me nothing! I had her so you would look at me differently, but you’re just as fucking broken as her. You deserve each other. I will never love her. Nev—,” her sentence is cut short as I hear a gunshot go off. I stand there in shock, not sure what I was expecting. My body is shaking and I feel my whole world crumbling, but I don’t know what to do. For so long, I wanted my mother to love me. I didn’t even care that she hit me or hurt me, none of that mattered to me as long as she showed me a little bit of love. To hear my mother say she will never love me breaks my heart even more because I protected her.
“I protected her,” I say out loud. Oran holds me tighter in his arms. “I did everything to make sure no one knew what she did to me. I hid it from my brothers for her. I didn’t go out to play with anyone, I didn’t make friends because she said I couldn’t. I did it all, Oran. I don’t understand. I don’t get it. Why?” I know Oran doesn’t have the answers at all, I just need to say it out loud.
My father appears and Oran lets me go. I sniffle and I look up at my dad. “I thought you didn’t love me…” I whisper.
“Why wouldn’t I love you Ainslee? You’re my child,” my dad asks me as if that doesn’t make sense.
“She just… she told me you never wanted me. That I was just an obligation for you.”
My dad stands in front of me and Oran gives us space, probably because he’s still in shock, while the rest of us are going on like this happens everyday. My dad cups my face in his hands. “Ainslee… I love you. You’re the only person in this world that I could love, because you’re my child. I loved you from the moment you were born. I held you while you cried for the world to hear that a Bishops was born into this world. I’m so proud of everything you’ve ever done. I know I did you a disservice by not telling you this everyday butmija, there’s no other excuses I can give you so I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t love or cherish you. I’m sorry for everything,lo siento, princesa,” my dad calls me a nickname I haven’t heard in forever and I smile, trying not to cry. My father wipes my tears and I want to be mad, but I can’t because the first man that broke my heart has made it whole again. Whole enough for me to love the man that I’m married to for the rest of my life.
22
Ainslee
