Page 5 of Hale's Pawn
Oran
Throughout the whole ceremony,I stared at Ainslee to make her uncomfortable as fuck, but then the longer I looked at her, the more I wanted to just keep doing that. I’m still irritated that she thinks I’m the safest man she could find, but you know what? I’m okay with that because now I’ve been given the opportunity to turn her life upside down in my own way. Ainslee’s and my path seems like it would’ve never really crossed outside of the typical shit of parties but now she’s directly placed in front of me. There must be something she needs to learn and I’d be glad to teach her.
After we repeated what the officiant said, we exchanged rings. Ainslee looks down at her ring finger and then back at me, then down again as she admires her ring. I’m not such a hateful bastard that I wouldn’t at least ask Jagger’s ass to find out her favorite color and engagement ring. Every woman in this world knows what ring they want and if they say they don’t, it's a lie. Ainslee stares at her Rosée du Matin rose gold oval-cut diamond ring. She picks up my left hand to compare the two. It’s an odd thing, but I watch her as she puts ours side by side; Rose gold to match. Ainslee clears her throat and lets go of my hand. I don’t say anything, instead I just watch her.
When the officiant says that I may kiss my bride, I notice that Ainslee is trying to avoid eye contact with me. I smile as I grab her jaw and make her look up at me. I lean in and kiss her. At first, it seems innocent. Then she kisses me back and I forget that this isn’t real. I let out a grunt, kissing her deeper. I feel her small hand on my wrist. I don’t know if she wants me to stop or keep going, but I keep going. Ainslee melts into my body as she lets me devour her whole in front of everyone. If this was what they wanted, this is what they get. I let Ainslee go and she’s looking up at me like she wants to fuck, or better yet, suck my dick. I lick my lips because I’d let her, even though I’m still fucking pissed at her and everything else.
The reception doesn’t seemto be too dramatic but I can tell that neither Ainslee or I want to be here right now. Pretty sure she wishes she could be with her ex, while I desire to just be left alone. I’d rather be in my house all by myself more than anything else. The damn host announces that it's time for Ainslee and I’s first dance. I roll my eyes and Ainslee grumbles under her breath. We both stand and walk to the dance floor. Ainslee stands there, trying not to look at me. The song begins and I pull her closer. The song starts and I cock my brow, trying to determine what song it is. “Salvatore by Lana Del Rey, my queen,” Ainslee offers.
“Morbid as fuck,” I say. Ainslee shrugs as some woman sings the song, but I clue in on how the song sounds like there’s a sad undertone to it. It sounds different though, not a bad difference, but sort of like saying goodbye to something and welcoming another adventure. Weird. The chorus comes on and I look at her. “Sounds like loving and losing to me.”
Ainslee opens her mouth to say something but I show her that none of us ever missed dance lessons. I spin her out and then pull her back in. She breathes in when she softly slams into my chest. I wrap my arm around her as I lift the other to continue dancing to the song that she chose. It’s such a soft ballad that you forget everything else going on around.
AINSLEE
The song brings emotions I don’t want. I know that it’s wrong to choose such a song for your first dance and probably a bad sign, but at the same time, it encourages me to let go. To make the best of what I have right now. I chose Oran Hale even though he didn’t choose me. I’m okay with that. I look up at him as he watches me and whoever hasn’t fallen for him is a fool. Someone could get lost in his eyes. Doesn’t matter how upset or grumpy he appears, his eyes are the window to his soul and I feel like in this tiny window of a first dance we have, there’s something that I’m seeing. Something I can’t say yet because it would be weird to break this moment. I take a deep breath, knowing the song is coming to an end. The lyricsSalvatore can wait, now it's time to eat soft ice cream…For me, it is simple. I have to let go of my Salvatore and move on with my soft ice cream. That’s the thing about soft ice cream though, you’re never too sure about what it will do to you. I doubt that my ice cream is actually soft.
The song ends and I’m the first to break away from the intense man that is Oran Hale. I turn to walk away but he pulls me back in and the rhythm continues to play on. The musicians are fucking killing me. I blink a couple of times, trying my best not to break, but fuck, this is too much. I need a second. “It’s too late to run now, Ainslee,” Oran says to me.
There’s an edge, a sharpness to his words and it makes me shudder. Not because I’m afraid, but because it seems like there is more to it. Like the devil has wrapped its clawed fingers around my ankle and won’t let go. “I wasn’t going to run,” I say.
“We’ll see.” The musicians end the song this time and we walk slowly towards our center table. My heart is pounding in my chest and I don’t understand what is going on. Too much of this song, the staring, the confusion, the letting go. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.
“You need to go to the bathroom?” Lina asks. She’s sitting at the table with me, Oran, Jagger, Karessa, and her sisters.
I nod. “Yeah, I do.” I get up, not bothering to say a word to Oran or anyone else at the table. I’m sure they heard what Lina asked. When we walk down the beautiful walk-way that looks even better now that it's darker outside, I can’t help but stop to take a look at it. The lights light up the walkway and it gives this whole illusion of a million little lights. I’m in awe. We continue on and walk down a different, sort of secret looking pathway leading to the venue’s bathrooms.
“Baby…” I could never mistake Eli’s voice for anyone else. I stop in my tracks. I take a deep breath in and another out. I turn to look at him. He moves towards me and I take a step back, “You shouldn’t have done all this,” he says to me with anger lacing his voice.
“You need to leave, Eli. Doesn’t matter where you go, but you need to leave,” I say firmly.
“Are you serious right now, Ainslee? You chose someone else over me and you want me to leave? You claim I didn’t fight for you, but did you not see me when you walked down that fucking aisle? I tried to make you look at me, but you didn’t. It’s not too late,” Eli pleads with me, making my heart break even more.
“Stop walking towards me, Eli. This is over. We’re over. Let me go.” I look at Lina who isn’t even bothering to help me. Instead, she’s staring between us both. “Lina, help me.”
Lina shakes her head, her straight bob moving side to side with her. Her usually pretty face forms into anyou’ve got to be kidding meexpression. “She’s right, Eli. You have to let her go.”
Eli turns to look at her. “What? How could you say that to me? You’ve been watching me go through it all. You’ve been there with me.”
“What?” I ask. “What does that even mean?”
“It means nothing, baby,” Eli says. “Lina was just being a good friend to me. She comforted me while we tried to figure out how to get you and me back together. That’s all.”
I shake my head. “I haven’t seen you in two months, Eli. I did my best and you don’t know how hard I’m trying right now. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Seriously. Just leave.”
Lina makes a sound. “Let’s just leave, Eli.”
I tilt my head, confused by Lina telling Eli that they should leave, like she’s not my friend. “Are you not my friend, Lina? What the hell do you mean by you leaving with him? You’re not with him, you came to be here for me.”
Lina’s mask falls away and everything is clear as day. “I came here to support Eli. I thought you were a friend for sure, Ainslee, but seeing the way you treat people... How you treated Eli when he’s done nothing but try to love you, that’s cold, and I would choose him a thousand times over you.”
I want to open my mouth and yell at her. I want to go off on her, but the gut punch takes over. I’ve never really had friends growing up because they were too scared to be my friend due to being Andres Bishops’ daughter. Yet, I became friends with Lina because she was cool and she didn’t care who I was, but now it’s all falling into place. Lina became friends with me after I became friends with Eli. I didn’t date him at first. Actually, I met him in high school, but we started dating just last year. I should’ve known better but, fuck, I just wanted a damned friend. Just one friend. One good fucking friend. Is that too much to ask? I shut my eyes, pulling myself together, channeling who the fuck my dad raised so that I could walk off with some damned dignity left in me. Nobody is ever going to treat me like shit again.
3
Oran
“Not even 4hours of being married and yet, you’ve lost your wife,” Jagger teases me.
