Page 22 of Hale's Pawn
“He called me a big fucking baby.”
“You are, but for right now, that’s okay.” I smile a little when Ainslee kisses my cheek.
“So, the thing is, we’ve put a temporary pacemaker in just to monitor her over the few weeks. She’s going to come back in a couple of weeks and then we can run more tests and see if she needs a permanent pacemaker.”
“What caused this? She’s been fine for years,” Andres says.
“She’s been under a lot of stress, and not only that, she forgot to take her pills. I’ve prescribed her some new ones that she’ll pick up in the lobby and the rest, we’ll send to her. Mr. Hale,” the doctor addresses me. “It’s imperative that you help your wife. Remind her to take her pills, drink a lot of water. She needs to stay away from certain household items, like microwaves. Cell phones are fine nowadays with their advanced technology. She just needs to relax. The pacemaker isn’t permanent, but it is good that she just rests. I’m not talking about bed rest, I just mean something that’s going to keep her calm. Before you ask about other activities, let’s wait until we get the temporary one out. Yeah?”
I nod. “Got it.”
The doctor gave us a bit more information on everything else and now, we’re finally home.
Ainslee has finally let me go and being home makes me feel like I need to relax, but I’m too wound up. I get undressed and crack my neck, but nothing. There’s a feeling in my chest that is eating at me. I shut my eyes, sitting on the bed, naked as the day I was born. I clear my throat, trying to understand what the hell is going on with me. One fucking week, ONE WEEK of being married, and all this shit is happening to me. Yes, both Ainslee and I have known for a little over a month, her longer than I knew, but now, every single thing seems so serious. I hear the shower going and I get up, walking towards the bathroom.
Ainslee’s dress is on the floor and she’s in the open concept shower. There is a glass wall protecting her. I look at her as she has her back to me. I climb in behind her and she flinches the second I touch her back. She turns. “No, don’t…” She shakes her head. “Don’t do that, Oran.”
“Ainslee…you don’t have to run away from me.” Ainslee moves back until she hits the shower wall right under the shower head. I move in closer to her. “Come to me,” I say.
“Oran, I think you should get out.”
I shake my head, feeling like everything I’ve been suppressing is ready to just blow. “I just… I need this. Come to me...please,” I beg her.
Ainslee pauses for what seems like forever. “Don’t hurt me, Oran,” Ainslee finally says as she clears her throat. She turns away, revealing her back to me. “Do not fucking hurt me,” she grits through her teeth.
I sigh as I take the final step, closing the space between us. I press my body against hers. Ainslee relaxes against me, but I pull back. I look at the faded marks on her back. They’re angry and what the normal eye would see as ugly. I reach out, running my finger over one of them. Ainslee stiffens but I keep going until I’ve touched every part of her slashes. I feel overwhelmed, a little too overwhelmed. I don’t know what it is. If it’s being back in the hospital, or what. “I,” my voice breaks. Ainslee tries to turn around but I keep her back to me. I hold her to me as I internally break apart.
“Oran…” she calls my name sweetly, reminding me of my mother, Bethany.
My sweet boy...My sweet, sweet boy, Oran. Don’t ever be afraid to cry. Crying is good for the soul. It reminds us that we’re human.
My mother. I haven’t thought about her since the anniversary of her death. I’ll never forget her, but I just... I try not to think about her... The fond memory of her running her hands through my hair hits me hard. I don’t even realize that Ainslee and I are on the shower floor. Ainslee’s holding me, running her fingers through my hair. She doesn’t complain about the water turning cold, instead she just holds me like that.
13
Ainslee
It’s almost beena week since everything happened and I don’t think I can do this. Oran is driving me nuts. I take a deep breath, shutting my eyes while I relax in the bath. This is relaxing. A little bit of me-time. Time to just think about everything and how I know that I’m seriously catching feelings for Oran. I don’t know when I even started to care for him, beyond the obvious fact that he’s my husband, but now I keep finding myself asleep on top of him. The first time it happened, it seemed like nothing. He’s like a big teddy bear mixed with grumpiness in there. A grumpy teddy bear of my own. Maybe I should call him that to see his reaction. Maybe it’ll make him annoyed enough to not watch my every move. I can’t cough without him telling meokay look at your Fitbit and check the heart rate.He won’t even kiss me, and I like kissing him… a lot more than I can admit. The man won’t even let me go to the nail salon to get my nails fixed becausethe fumes will fuck with my heart. Where did he even read that?
I sigh but I feel the tug of a smile on my face. Even with my eyes shut, I know he’s in here. “Hi, Oran.”
“Uh, hi, Ainslee. How did you even hear me? I tried to be as silent as I could be.”
I pop my eyes open. “You’re forgetting who my father is, aren’t you? Plus, my dad took me hunting a couple of times. Taught me a few things.”
“Oh?” he says, sitting on the side of the tub. “What did you guys hunt?”
The people who betray him.“Uh, you know, just the usual kill.”
“Deer?” he adds.
“Uh… yeah. Yeah! Deer!” I say. Oran narrows his eyes at me as if he doesn’t believe me. For a moment, we sit there staring at each other. I know he wants me to say something, but there are things even he can’t ever know. “So…” I continue.
Oran smirks. “Sooo?”
“How can I be of service to you?” I ask.
Oran’s face morphs into one so lust-filled that I shudder. “Reword your question, baby.”
