Page 13 of Mr. Mistletoe
I smirk, looking at James. “She didn’ even respect you enough to tell you that I’m her ex, did she?” I say to him. The shock is evident on his face. “Don’t worry, James, I’ve got the bill for today. You know, I can afford that type of shit.” I walk out not caring what the hell else is going on.
* * *
When I getoutside Annabelle is there waiting for her car from valet. She looks me up and down. “I don’t know what it is you see in her. She has a fiancée, you know?”
“I know,” I snarl. “I just don’t understand why either of you think you could speak for me. Why the fuck would y’all decide to walk out of my life then fuckin’ think you have the right to speak for me?” I snatch my Stetson off switching it for my helmet.
“I don’t get your hostility,” Annabelle says. “You’re acting like an absolute asshole.”
I shut my eyes for a second needing to reel in my good side. I could kill her right now where she stands but what would be the point. That’s not me. Baldr nor Deacon would do that to her. Coming back to life should’ve come with a damned manual because I don’t think I’m ever going to be the same ever again. I open my eyes again, “Let it go, Annabelle. We’re not together anymore, you chose to leave because of someone engaged to someone else who isn’t me. I don’t know what it is you think will happen here but I can reassure you that it won’t. You left and you won’t get another chance to do it again.”
Annabelle’s features morph into pure anger. “Right, yet you let Kimberly come in and leave you twice, what are you waiting for? Another chance to get left again? She’s not yours.”
I climb my bike, “Like hell she’s not. Kimberly St. Andrews will always be mine. Right now, she’s acting like an idiot and I’ll allow it because she needs to earn me,but I won’t give up on her because you don’t give up on what is yours.” The possessiveness I’ve always had over Kimberly didn’t make sense to me as a human, but now, I feel like because I’ve always been Baldr, I knew. I knew that she belonged to me. Even if she left a million times. She’s mine.
“So why didn’t you fight for me to stay?” she asks.
“Because I didn’t want you back. You left and I let you go. I don’t regret it. I never will,” I say honestly.
Annabelle clears her throat. Fresh tears appear in her eyes. “I, I…” she tries to get it all together.
“I’m sorry, Anna, I jus—.”
Annabelle puts her hand up. “Did you ever love me, Deacon?” she asks and the fact that she’s hurt makes me sad. I don’t want to be the reason for her pain, I really don’t.
I shut my eyes and run a hand over my face.Deacon? No… Baldr, calm down. She’s a human and she doesn’t understand how stupid this shit is. How dumb it is to be asking me something as clear as day/I open them again. I get off my bike placing my helmet down, I walk over to her and pull her into a hug. Humans love these and as a person whose lived as one for years, it’s like second nature to me. Through everything, Annabelle and I had a good thing while it lasted. She was a good woman, one that was good enough for me to propose to. She could’ve been an even better friend. Annabelle wraps her arms around me and I take this moment to say goodbye to our relationship for good. I get out of the hug and I cup her face in my hands wiping the tears that have escaped. “Did you ever love me?” she asks again.
I look at her. “I did, Annabelle. I loved you the only way I knew how but I know it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry that it wasn’t. You helped me heal, you really did. You are a good woman. One who gives so much but I couldn’t give you all of that back and because of that, I’m sorry. You deserve the world but it ain’t gon’ be from me. I’m not the man for you. I didn’ even fight for you, that should show you that I ain’t worth it either. We’re a day too late for that.”
She nods as she wipes her tears and gets out of my hold. She takes a step back from me, “So then if it’s like that, why are you fightin’ for a woman that isn’t fightin’ for you? Why are you chasing for Kimberly St. Andrews knowing she chose someone else over you? You deserve the world too, Deacon, even if it isn’t with me. Have you ever thought about this? What if Kimberly isn’t the one for you?”
I grit my teeth but I say nothing. I scratch my beard for a moment chewing over her words even after she leaves. I don’t have a word to say to her. The doubt creeps in and the moment where Kimberly shattered my very heart comes back on full display. I shake it off, trying my best to concentrate on other things. I’m a god. I don't need to dwell on a broken heart. I’m not a fool. She doesn’t get that much power over me. I have a mission, to get her to realize that I’m the man of her dreams, but why do I think about Annabelle’s words? They shouldn’t affect me or my goal. I know Kimberly is for me. Even if I have a couple of battle scar wounds from fighting this war with her.
“You guys make up?” I hear Kimberly say. I turn to face her and she’s looking at me with uncertainty in her eyes. She looks at where Annabelle cried on my chest then she looks back up at my face. “Did you tell her that I don’t speak for you anymore?” she taunts. I know she’s mad. It’s funny and frustrating.
“So, you were busy watching me like a gotdamn stalker yet you never had to. Fuck is all that about?”
“What were you guys talking about?” she asks as if she didn’t hear what I said.
I chuckle out of anger. “Wouldn’ you like to know. You’re not entitled to shit about me. You didn’ want to know what the hell I had goin’ on all these years but soon as Anna wants to fuckin’ invite my ass somewhere you all of a sudden say shit like you said inside.” I shake my head and head to my bike.
“I...” Kimberly starts. She looks perplexed. There’s something she’s hiding and no matter how hard I try, I can’t read her mind. We have to be linked for that. I could read others' minds but I don’t want to cross boundaries, especially not my family and friends.
I look up at her before I place the helmet over my head, “Your man is a fuckin’ idiot, you know that, Mamita…” I smirk and I know she knows I’m about to say something outrageous. “De verdad,be lucky I’m not him because I would’ve fucked your brains out on that dinner table, body bent over and me fuckin’ you like I was a man possessed because you dared to let another man touch you like he owned you. I would’ve looked that man in the eye and made you cry my name out and woulda been charged for indecent exposure cause I had a point to prove. I’d remind you that I am a grown-ass man and I don’ get disrespected in my town but…” I stop and turn my bike on. I rev the engine and Kimberly is breathing hard watching me. I place my helmet on and ride up closer to her.
“But you’re not him,” she boldly says with all the defiance she can muster at the moment.
I know she can’t see my face but I look at her. “Darlin’ I don’t need, nor do I want to be him. I am me. I am Deacon Hiram Fairhope, your best friend, the man that took your virginity, your first crush, the man whose heart you broke twice and finally the man that will ruin not just these flimsy ass wedding plans you’ve got but also your pussy when I get a chance to slide in those walls of yours. For now, enjoy the subpar dick and relationship.”
“Fuck you. Fuck you so hard, Hiram!”
“Don’t you wish, baby?” I chuckle as I take off. I look at my future wife in my side mirror on the bike. She looks so beautiful when she’s angry at me. I can’t wait to turn her life upside down.
Kimberly
I stand there eating literal dust as I watch Deacon ride off. He looks so fucking cool doing that, I hate it even more than I hated seeing Annabelle and him hugging. I know I have no right to him but somehow I just feel like I do. I haven’t even been back for more than two days yet here I am, lusting after Deacon and not only that, I’m so ready to spill everything. It’s hard lying to Deacon.
“How was that? Did I appear like both an aloof and at the same time, somewhat caring fiancé?” He grins.
