Page 34 of Euphoria
The door opening prompts me to check out who is coming in. The girl who I saw at the gallery comes in. Now, I recognize her, she’s Esme LeClaire, a founder’s family. From the way she asked him that question at the gallery, I knew something had gone on between the two. Esme looks graceful as ever, and beautiful. She walks over greeting everyone and I move further back wanting to disappear. I watch as she goes over to Phoenix. She leans in, giving him a quick hug.
“Hey Markos,” she says once she’s standing again.
He gives her a smirk. “Hey. Glad you could make it,” he jokes with her.
“Only you would get attention by doing something so drastic. Such a drama queen,” she jokes back.
Phoenix laughs but then winces. “It hurts you know, so how about you keep your corny ass jokes to yourself?”
Esme laughs with everyone else.
I tilt my head. I don’t think he’s ever joked with me before. Maybe he doesn’t see it or refuses to. Maybe he’s moved on but is just fixated on me. It makes me wonder though, could I let him go? Is that possible after seeing him die in front of my face? Can I live without him after seeing him again? I don’t think I can, but it doesn’t mean I can’t try, right? I’d do anything for Phoenix and Bowie, even let them go so they could both be happy. As if he can read my mind, his eyes abruptly shift to mine. He’s looking at me as if I yelled my thoughts out. I break eye contact and rush into the bathroom; I shut the door quietly making sure no one else especially Bowie noticed.
This bathroom is luxurious. Almost like a damn suite, there’s even a damn bathtub. Who would leave the hospital at this point? I feel relief as I notice that the bathtub can be obscured by a shower curtain hanging from the ceiling. I settle into the bathtub and pull the curtains so I can get some peace.
The bathtub swallows my smaller frame and I sink in. I shut my eyes and lean my head back, thinking about my life off the Island and how empty it was. I had loving foster parents, yes, but I felt like I was walking around with a missing limb or a hole in my heart. Yet, the second that I’m back here and when I laid eyes on Phoenix and Bowie again, I felt like everything in me was restored. That it made sense to breathe again. I sigh squeezing my eyes shut because I don’t want to think about that anymore. Not even five minutes later, I hear the bathroom door open and shut loudly.
“Someone’s in here, can you give me a minute, I’ll be right out,” I say just so they can leave me alone.
“What did I tell you about looking away from me, Bambi?”
I don’t open my eyes, nor do I pull back the curtains. I hear as Phoenix yanks the curtains back but then I feel a thud on my body. I open my eyes and the curtains have been pulled from the rod they were hanging from on the ceiling. Both the rod and the curtains are in the tub with me. Phoenix grabs my jaw and makes me look up at him. “Get up,” He grits through his teeth.
I know that he’s still in pain, it’s written all over his face. I get up and the first thing I do is yell out. “Mikonos!” I know that wasn’t what he was expecting but his brother needs to put him back in that damn bed.
Phoenix says nothing but glare at me. In his eyes, there is a promise to become crueler than he’s been to me and to make me regret calling his big brother in here. The promise to destroy me beyond how I’m standing right now and that thread that I’m hanging by is going to be broken for good. I know he’s going to break me, make me cry, make me regret ever stepping foot back on Founder’s Island.
The door opens and shuts, “let her go, Nix,” Orion says.
At his words, Phoenix makes his hold tighter and he smirks when I wince. The last promise I see in his eyes is simple. I’ll regret looking away from him and through all this, a sane person would leave, but I can’t.
He lets me go roughly and I breathe hard. “Phoenix…” Orion calls him with a warning undertone in his voice.
Phoenix shuts his eyes but when he opens them back up, they’re vacant but the smirk is still there, still so present and ready to harm. “Come,” He says to me.
My body shudders, feeling his word cause goosebumps all over my body.
“Give her a minute, you get your ass back in bed before I drag you out.” Orion threatens.
Phoenix’s smirk turns into a grin because he knows I’m going to defy him. That I’m going to listen to Orion and not him. I’ve never seen a man grin so cruelly, so sinister, yet I won’t leave town. This time, I’m staying because beyond those promises in his eyes, I see it. I see the pain, the hurt and the broken way that he thinks he’s restored. He may have healed from the way he was broken as an 18-year-old, but now, he’s broken for a different reason--me.
* * *
Bowie
I already expected that Phoenix’s crazy ass would get out of bed and follow Bambi. It’s something that’s like a side effect for us. We can just tell when she’s about to do something or when she’s doubting us. I don’t blame her. She thinks Esme is a suitable match for Phoenix but she doesn’t realize that Esme may be a great person but Phoenix hides himself from her. They were two people who seemed like they kicked it off as friends and one thing led to another, then it ended with mutual respect. An adult thing.
When Phoenix comes back in the room from the bathroom, I break and snicker. I know he’s mad that she called his brother on him.
“Next time, you’ll chill the fuck out and wait,” I say.
He rolls his eyes. “Fuck you.”
I laugh. “If you weren’t already in the hospital, I’d knock all your teeth out to put you back in here for scaring us to death. Dramatic ass just needed to die, huh?” I cock a brow.
Phoenix sits back in the bed not wanting any of our help. He glares at me, but then his face softens as he lays back. The meds must be kicking in again. “I’m sorry I worried your bitch ass, but last time I checked, I have a wife to nag me.”
His apology calms me and makes me realize that I was just scared that my best friend was going to be gone from this world. “Maaan, the last time I left you two alone, you took my girl and shipped her off somewhere.”
