Page 19 of Euphoria
“Nixy,” she says breathlessly and I lose myself in her. I don’t stop leaning in until I’ve captured her lips for my own.
Fuck, her lips are so soft and plush. I don’t think I’ll ever stop kissing her but I do because I need to hear her say it again. “Say it again.”
Bambi keeps her eyes shut. “Nixy.”
“One more fucking time and this time open your eyes. Look at me, baby deer.”
Bambi opens her eyes. “Nixy.”
“Aw fuck, baby.” I wrap my hand around her waist and the other on the nape. I pull her into my lap. “Tell me a secret, baby deer.” I stare intensely into her eyes.
“You’re my first proper kiss.” She confesses and before she could take her next breath, I devour her lips once more.
Bowie doesn’t let this moment go to waste as he sits across from us. “Come to me, if you want me, Bams. This isn’t a one- man ship. You can’t have one of us. It’s either both of us or we’re out,” he says and I know it hurts his feelings to say that.
Bambi moves out of my lap but she sits on her knees between us. She looks at me and then at Bowie. Maybe we were wrong about her. Maybe she just wants one of us. That would suck.
“I don’t have to choose?” She asks looking at Bowie.
“No, you don’t. We don’t want you to choose at all. Never,” he says with conviction.
Bambi doesn't even give herself a minute to think about it as she crawls over to the small space of the closet and straddles Bowie. He looks up at and tentatively touches her face. Bowie likes to remember the women’s faces and caress them, but he doesn’t get that chance as Bambi pulls him in for a hungry kiss. That shit is so sexy. Fuck. She’s so perfect for us. Bowie’s hands find her ass and he grinds her on his jean clad dick. He kisses her like all his problems are gone. Like he doesn’t have bruises from the underground fighting he does. Bambi moans and seals our fate with her. Bambi pulls away from Bowie with a giggle. “You both are my firsts,” she whispers.
I shake my head, willing the memory to go away. If only I knew what she meant the first time she said that to us. We could have saved her. I could have murdered that sick son of a bitch stepfather of hers earlier on. How could someone as sweet as her go through such bullshit yet smile at a monster like me without batting an eyelash? Wasn’t I as scary as that dirty motherfucker? What made us so different? I have no morals and neither did he. I don’t care about right from wrong, I’ll never care about that and the worst of it all, she’s my obsession and I’ll never let her go unless someone takes me out, just like I did to that fucking dirtbag.
* * *
Bambi
I was having the same recurring nightmare. The one where Phoenix and Bowie disappear and I’m left alone. Looking around for them even though I had to leave was excruciating. It haunted me more than I care to admit. I jolt awake out of my sleep only to find that I’m still handcuffed to the bedpost. I groan at how much it hurts. I’m alone in this all white room, I shake my head taking it in.
“My estranged husband is a serial killer,” I say out loud to no one in particular.
“Indeed,” I hear an answer.
Out of pure fear, I scream at the top of my lungs.
“Wow,” The voice grows louder.
The voice causes me to stop screaming and look at whoever is the source. When I look, I’m face to face with the only other person who makes me want to piss my pants sometimes… from laughter, Orion.
“Ry…” I call out.
Orion smirks, looking just like his brother. “If I had known he’d cuff you to the bed, I would’ve never told the dumb bastard where you were. Don’t you have more than one of them to rescue you out of this, or are they working together?”
I frown. “You told them I was back?”
Orion rolls his eyes. “That’s a stupid ass question and you know it.”
I nod. “Is he gone again? He won’t come back?”
“Will you stop asking if I’m going to come back?” Phoenix steps out of the shower in nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist while he towel dries his hair with another. “I told you I’m not leaving!” He yells.
Orion shakes his head. “Don’t fucking yell at her. What the fuck?” He says to Phoenix, and all Phoenix does is shrug his shoulders.
“Nix, my wrist hurts.”
“Good,” he answers.
