Page 2 of Euphoria
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Bowie
“Bow…” Her moans fill my dreams and my body shudders in response. “Bow…” Her sweet voice calls my name once again.
My eyes pop open. One day back on this fucking Island and immediately, Bambi is calling for me. Filling my dreams and instead of me haunting her like I know I should, she’s haunting me. I’ve tried everything. Sleeping with countless women who look nothing like her and engaging in hardcore sexual encounters with those who do resemble her. The girls who engage love it but then they call it borderline painful. They don’t know whether I’m a sadist or a masochist, which doesn’t even make sense, but they consent, so it doesn’t fucking matter.
I sigh, not wanting to, but I drift back to sleep thinking about the time I came back in town and I saw the look on Phoenix’s face.
“What is it? Something is wrong.” I say to him.
He glares at me, but he knows that I’ll force it out of him. Besides his close family, I’m the only other one who can force him to talk. “She’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?” I ask. “Gone where?”
“Her stepfather is dead. I killed him,” he confesses. He knows I would never snitch on him. I would go to my grave with all his secrets.
“What did he do?” I know that Phoenix doesn’t just kill to kill. He is precise, others may think it’s impulsive, but nothing that he does is impulsive. He is skilled. Plus, that abusive fuck needed to be put down. I wanted to take his life with my own hands, but Bambi wouldn’t let me. She wouldn’t let either of us do it.
Phoenix looks away. He looks down at his sneakers, which means what he’s about to say is serious. “He used to… to rape her. This whole time, she said nothing. She just let us come in there and hold her, but she never once told us about him doing those things to her.”
I’m speechless. My heart, my head, everything fucking hurts. How could she be going through this and I don’t know? I did nothing. I took her in my arms, wrapped myself around her, fucked her just as rough as Phoenix did, yet neither of us knew.
“How could we not know? How could we let him do that to her? Fuck!” I stand and yell, not caring if one of my parents comes into my room. Fuck them for taking me away to do whatever it is they needed to do. They only need me for fucking public shit, but they don’t even care what I do.
I pace back and forth. This isn’t happening. I feel the tears trekking down my face. I can’t believe this. The anger that I try my best to tamper down gets the best of me. I turn around and punch my wall repeatedly until Phoenix is yelling at me to stop. I turn my anger back on him, “Fuck you, you should’ve kept her here. You shouldn’t have let her go!” I yell.
Phoenix cocks his brow. “What the fuck do you think I sent her away for? She needs to be covered. If she stayed, she would’ve been suspected. We can’t protect her. We don’t have the means.”
“I do,” I say, not wanting to hear Phoenix be rational.
“No, Bow, you don’t. Your parents, the same motherfuckers you don’t like or fuck with, have the power right now. They wouldn’t help you and you know it. I asked Andres for something and he did it. I asked him to take her away because she deserves to be happy, you know it. I know you do,” he says in a calm voice.
“I know, fuck, I do, but I can’t. I love her, dude. I’ve never loved someone so hard in my damned life. Does that make sense? Someone like me who didn’t come from love is in love. Now, tell me, do I not deserve to be mad right now? Can I not be angry? I know our girl deserves better. She deserves the world, and I wanted to be part of giving it to her but you took that from me. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
Phoenix shrugs and I know that even though he can’t feel for others, he feels the loss for Bambi like I have. I look at him and he looks at me. We both know that something in us has changed. We became best friends from the moment he introduced himself to me as Markos when we were younger, but now I don’t think our friendship will survive and it’s because our girl took our hearts with her.
