Page 12 of Euphoria
Chapter 5
Phoenix
“I did it for you!”I hear Bambi’s voice, but her voice morphs into something else. Someone that has been out of my mind for years now.
“You are evil! You don’t need my protection!” She yells at me in Greek, pushing me out the front gates. “Why would I do that when you prove to me time and time again that you can’t comprehend something simple! Go to him! Go to your father! I don’t want you!”
I stare up at her shivering in my underwear. “But he hurts me, mama. He put me in the scary place last time.”
Her golden-brown eyes stare off into the distance. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. All I did was tell him to let the rabbit die after he got hurt. I don’t understand why it needs to go to the vet to be saved. Shouldn’t it die to stop the pain? The rabbit was in pain.”
She shudders. “Go to him and stay there. Even if he hurts you, you’ll take it. Go!”
The faces morph again and there Bambi is again, this time when she was 16. Laying on her bed, staring at her stepfather.
“Please leave…” her voice barely a whisper. At that moment, everything in me shattered even more. I wanted to beg her to let me stay with her. That I could be what she wanted me to be. That I could change and love her. I know I could.
“Phoenix!” Someone behind me calls my name. I shake my head, clutching my ears. It’s hurting me. It’s too high pitch.
“Leave me alone!” I scream.
“Phoenix!” I hear it again. “Phoenix! Wake up, dammit!” I hear Orion’s voice break through whatever dream/nightmare I was having.
My eyes pop open, and I rapidly blink. This isn’t right. “Where am I?” I look around my loft. It’s as empty as I’ve always had it.
“You didn’t answer your phone for a week.” The look in my brother’s green eyes tells me what I know. I’ve had one of my episodes.
I look down at my body, it’s covered in blood. I know I had a mark to kill and an example to prove for the Bishops, but I don’t remember when I lost it. “Bambi…” I say.
“She’s fine,” he assures me. “Get up.” Orion commands me. He stands up, pulling me up with him. I’m disoriented, so it takes a while to walk on my own without support.
“I’ve got it,” I say to Orion getting out of his hold.
“You don’t. You were speaking in Greek in your sleep and you never do unless something is wrong or you’re having a nightmare.”
“I don’t need anybody helping me!” I yell and shove at Orion.
“We’re not doing this again, Nix. We’re just not! I will never not protect you. You’re my blood. That’s what we do,” he says with conviction.
I take a step back, glaring at him. I shake my head. I know he’s right but my nightmare is fucking with my reality. “Call Dr. Lee, Ry.”
“I’ve tried. He’s not here, but I can help you. Get in the tub,” Orion says firmly.
I nod sharply. I walk to my bathroom and once I’m in there I don’t hesitate as I get in the ice-bath. I take a deep breath and let it out as the bath big enough for me engulfs me. I dip my entire head in and forget it all, concentrating on how cold I am right now.
After the ice-bath session, I change into some fresh clothes and meet Orion in my empty kitchen.
“Let’s go,” he says once he spots me.
“Go where?” I ask suspiciously.
Orion glares at me, but I know there’s no actual anger in them. “Ainslee wants to see you. You had her worried, well all of us. What the fuck, man!”
I see it in his face now, Orion looks like he hasn’t slept. “You okay?” I ask.
Orion runs his fingers through his hair. He’s growing his hair out again so some falls back on his face. He shakes his head and walks away. I sigh, following him out and I lock my loft up with a keypad. I climb in the passenger side of Orion’s range.
