Page 10 of Euphoria
I blink, not sure why this is important.
“Bams…” he calls my name in a warning. I know that tone and if only I paid close attention to it, then I would’ve known the life he lived back then when we were together.
“Upstairs, down the hall, second door on your right,” I say.
Phoenix takes my hand in his and leads me away from everyone. I look at Sasha, mouthing to her, I was sorry. She smirks, shaking her head. I’m glad she noticed that I would never do this. I’m not unprofessional.
I let Phoenix take me up the stairs all the way to my office. I look at our joined hands. Over the years I’ve dated other men but none of them ever held my hand like this. I don’t know what it is or if it’s because it’s Phoenix, I’m thinking it’s different.
I missed him. Every single day I woke up in tears and saw him in my nightmares. Saw someone snatching Phoenix from my hands. I’d hold on to him but somehow I was always pushed down a black hole that was endless. There was no way to get back to him. That nightmare still haunts me sometimes.
Phoenix’s fingers snapping in front of me shocks me out of my thoughts. We’re in my office and he’s sitting back on my desk with his legs spread open. Typical manspreading. I don’t blame him though since his long legs don’t give him much of an option.
“Where did you just go right now?” He asks.
This is the Phoenix that I’m afraid of. The one who can see something without me telling him. My worst fears, my hopes and dreams. All of them, he sees.
“Nowhere.” I shake my head, looking away.
“I warned you about lying to me, Bambi. You’ve got one more time to do that shit,” he scoffs.
“What do you want from me?” I say in Spanish. I throw my hands up and slam them down on the side, exasperated.
“There she is.” Phoenix smirks.
“Seriously, why did you bring me in here? Why are you here? How did you know where I was?” I ask question after question.
Phoenix cocks his brow. “I brought you here because I want your undivided attention. I want to torture you, fuck with your pretty little head and make sure you understand how big of a mistake you made when you didn’t say goodbye to me. Don’t be fooled though, I knew you left, but the fact that you didn’t tell me is where we seem to have an issue.”
I look away from the intensity in his eyes. Away from the hurt that’s so clear it shakes me. I didn’t know you could see loneliness in someone’s eyes.
“I did it for you,” I whisper.
“What?”
I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and my hands form fists on my side.
“I did it for you,” I say a bit louder. “I didn’t know your affiliation or that you were practically a Bishop. I thought you would get into trouble. You were 18 and you just killed my stepfather. I didn’t want them to put you away. I didn’t want you to be gone. So, I was going to take the fall for it. I was going to tell them what he had been doing to me and that I had a moment where I lost it. I was 16, they would probably send me to juvie but I couldn’t have them do that to you. I was protecting you!” I raise my voice a little.
I can feel the hot tears on my face. Great, not even a day in front of Phoenix and I’m already crying.
“Look at me,” Phoenix says.
I open my eyes and I can tell he’s angry. The vein in the middle of his forehead is clear. He’s pissed as hell.
“Protect me?” He asked through gritted teeth. “I’ve never needed that shit a day in my life. How dare you?” He seethes.
I’m shocked. “I don’t understand.”
“Get out,” Phoenix says. He shuts his eyes then opens them up again, glaring at me.
“This is my office, you can’t tell me to get out.” I stand my ground.
“Bambi, get the fuck out!” He raises his voice.
“Fine, Markos!” I huff.
Phoenix practically growls in my face. He grabs me by my lapels again and pulls me to him. “You’ll regret that, I promise you. I’ll make you wish you never dared to protect me. I’ll fuck with you so hard you’ll wish you never met me. Get. The. Fuck. Out. And if you think of staying in here, I’ll keep you for good, Bambi.”
I hesitate. I want to leave but the sadness in his eyes keeps me captive. I shut my eyes and open them again. These eyes have haunted me since the day I left and now they make me realize that I’ll always protect him. I don’t regret telling him to leave. I don’t think as I do the stupidest thing I’ve done since I was born. I lean in and kiss Phoenix.
I’m shocked that I did it and so is he but then not even a second passes when he takes over, kissing me like a man on a mission. I try to keep up but I’ve been missing out on what it means to kiss. Phoenix pulls away from me. He stands and puts physical distance between us. He’s breathing hard, his chest is moving up and down quickly. Just when I think he’s going to do good on his threat, he surprises me by walking out without so much as another word thrown my way.
What is going on?
