Page 63 of Blinded By The Sun
King
Smyth and Alex’s men got us out of there before the place was raining more bullets. What I never thought I’d experience was this. I can’t stop the shaking as I hold Bobby to my chest while he bleeds out. I don’t even know when we get to the hospital, but someone literally takes Bobby from my arms and I’m left there, blinking, wondering what the fuck is going on. I don’t know what to say or do. All I know is that Bobby might be gone. I don’t remember checking for a pulse, did I? Smyth acts quickly by removing the rest of us from the hospital. He takes us back to Alex’s place. By now, it’s nighttime and the men are nowhere to be found.
Was this a hit? Did they know what the men would do tonight? Or rather, who they were looking for? I haven’t moved from where I am. I don’t know how Elani and Kenna are even moving, but they go shower or whatever. I’m stuck in the same position on the couch, not able to make myself move. Nobody says anything to me or tries to move me. I need something. My heart is hurting for something, but I don’t know what it is. Is this how it feels to be scared for someone you care about? Is this the life that I’m forced to live now?
I shake my head automatically, pulling myself out of that damned place. I know what kind of life Ciro lives, and I know he will never give it up. I should never ask him to do so either. I know that this is important to him. Why would I do that? I sigh. I know that it’s the adrenaline and not only that but my anxiety coming to take place. I need to do better than this, but I can not will myself to move. Just as I feel myself drawing away from the entire room and succumbing to the darkness I once knew as a child, I hear him. I hear my protector. Ciro. I look up to see him rushing towards me. He doesn’t even look like himself. He looks like he was in the middle of a fight, yet here he is. Does he know that he has a cut on his lip? He lifts me up and checks me out.
“Where were you hit? Who did it? Are you okay? Why isn’t she at a hospital!” Ciro yells out at everyone.
“I’m fine…” I say, but he doesn’t hear me because he’s still making sure that I didn’t get hit.
“Seriously! I leave her in someone else’s care for all of 5 hours and she gets shot at! Who the hell knew where we were, anyway!” He yells again.
“Ciro!” I get his attention by grabbing on to his t-shirt. “I’m fine, baby, I’m fine.”
The worry in his eyes does not tone down, in fact he looks like he’s devising a plan on how to hide me in his pocket. “Fuck!Merde!” He curses. “I just… Fuck, just… come with me.” Is all he says before he pulls me with him to the guestroom we’re staying in.
“Ciro…” I call his name out once more. “Ciro! Ciro!” I yell again, “You’re hurting me.” I whimper. “You’re tugging too hard.” I cry out.
Ciro stops and looks down at his hand gripping my wrist. He lets go as if I’ve burned him or as if my words have burned him to the core. He looks at my wrist, then back up at me. He says nothing. He doesn’t have to. I know that he didn’t do that on purpose. Ciro gently tugs me this time and we end up in the room. He doesn’t speak again as he removes every article of clothing and he inspects further, making sure that nothing has happened to me. Because I know that I would’ve done the same, I let him do so to ease his conscience. He ushers me into the bathroom, but still no words from him. At this, I worry. I know that Ciro has no reason to be mad at me, but I still wonder if he is mad.
He turns on the shower letting it hit me first while he removes his clothes looking at me. He gets in along with me and turns me to face away from him. He wraps his arms around my body and just cradles me. He holds me as though he knows something that I don’t. There’s nothing that needs to be said, and I think that’s what I really need right now. Just some peace. Ciro holds me to him. He hums a song that I feel like I’ve heard before, but my mind isn’t letting me go there and then it clicks. He’s hummingClair de Lune, one of my favorite pieces to hear Macy play on the piano when the club was closed. She never taught me how to fully play the piano, but watching her do it, it felt like I witnessed the next Beethoven who never got the chance to get far.
Macy would have conquered the world of classical music had she had the opportunity. As Ciro continues to hum the melody, Macy’s face pops up. Her green eyes, her beautiful blonde hair and her smile I swear sometimes I saw in myself. I learned to smile from her. She would always tell me I was the daughter she wished to have much later; when she was older and with a wonderful man. One who loved her because she was worth it and not just there for the night. One who would look at her like she shitted rainbows and butterflies. I chuckle at that memory and her words. Ciro doesn’t interrupt me though because my laughter turns into tears because I miss Macy. I hope she’s doing okay; she was almost done paying her debt to my uncle. Macy differed from a lot of the women. She wasn’t there because she got kidnapped or was pushed into it; she owed a debt, and she was almost done.
“Shh…” Ciro says to me. I didn’t even realize that I was crying out loud. “It’s okay, I promise you.”
These words make me cry harder. I get out of Ciro’s arms and I look up at Ciro. I blink back the tears as he stares at me. “I was so scared today, Ciro. I thought I would die and leave you behind. Leave you all alone.” I confess.
Ciro gives me a slight smile. “That’s what you were worried about, baby? That you weren’t going to ever see me again?”
I nod. “Yes.” I wrap my arms around his waist. “I can’t lose you.” I get closer into his arms. He doesn’t see it like I do. I can’t leave him again. I don’t want to. I think of not only him, but Bobby. God, let him be okay.
“I can’t lose you either, honey. I don’t plan on it. I promise you; I will get whoever did this to you and the girls. The husbands were worried about their wives. Getting a call like that, I cannot ever in my life, hear that you almost took a bullet but yet I can’t seem to let you go. I’m so selfish, baby, I’m sorry.”
“Please, just stay near me and protect me. I don’t want you to be any different. This is your life and I accept it. I just want to never be taken from you. Ever.” I confess.
I feel Ciro’s kiss on my head. “I love you; sugar and I’ll protect you with my life.”
“No, don’t protect me with your life, protect me from the heartbreak of ever losing you. I refuse to lose you.”
Ciro lightly chuckles. “I’m just grateful I can hold you like this.”
“Hum to me, Ciro. The same song.”
“I can do you one better and play it for you on Alex’s grand piano after this.”
“Merci… with all my heart.” I hold him tight to me. I’m never letting go.
