Page 45 of Blinded By The Sun
Ciro
I didn’t take too much of King’s time because I wanted her to enjoy herself with her new friend. I sit back in a different, less flashy dress shirt as I watch King dance with Reign while wearing my silk shirt. It fits her like a damned dress instead of a shirt.
“It’s that serious, huh?” Boston asks.
I look at him from the corner of my eye. I nod. “Seems like it is.”
“How does that make you feel?” He asks. “Especially with finding out all that new info for yourself?”
I roll my eyes. “If you are going to shrink me, then you shouldn’t have closed your practice. You’re always asking me damned intrusive questions.”
Boston laughs. “Yeah but you answer me, anyway. If you didn’t want to answer, you wouldn’t, asshole.”
“Whatever.”
“Something about her works with you,” he says, “You’re relaxed and there isn’t anything uncomfortable about you two. Shit, I mean PDA should annoy me but the fact that you’ve been smiling and you can’t take your eyes off her then I’m all for it,” Boston says.
“I agree,” Adriano says.
I look at my older brother. I tilt my head. “You should be happy too, you know,” I say.
He smiles at me; a sad one and I can see the pain in his eyes, the one that he never shows others. He keeps it to himself.
“Something is wrong,” Boston states.
Adriano cocks a brow at him. He rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ve been divorced for a year now and I didn’t want to say anything because of the kids. I wanted to make sure that they would be cool with it. We told them not too long before I got here.”
“Whoa!” Both Boston and I react.
“Before you say anything, I don’t want to talk about it. Drop it and this is the wrong place, anyway.”
I chuckle. “Fine. But we will talk later. You can’t run away from this shit.”
“Copy,” Boston says.
Adriano rolls his eyes again and gets up, taking the girl he’s been speaking to wherever they’re going. Boston goes back to talking to the girls he was entertaining, and I look at King again. She’s smiling and dancing like the world is safe. And she’s right, it is safe because I’m here. I’d protect her from whatever.
The next few seconds feel odd and weird for me as for a moment, I watch her dance and then the next; it appears, and the room disappears. I’m in a forest. This makes little sense. Did someone roofie me? There’s no way. I shake my head trying to concentrate but I can’t see King or anyone else. How the hell did I lose sight of her? I shut my eyes for a second and there’s an entire scene that plays behind my closed lids and I don’t know what the hell is going on.
I look at myself as I’m walking, searching for something… someone, and then there’s a presence behind me. I turn to face the tiny figure and it’s King but my feelings for her seem to be nonexistent yet, it’s not there’s a barrier or a wall blocking me from loving her again.
“Look,” I began saying to her. “I don’t love you, so stop following me around. Where are Lysander and beautiful Hermia? Lysander I want to stop, but Hermia stops my heart from beating. You told me they escaped into this forest. And here I am, going crazy in the middle of the woods because I can’t find my Hermia. Go away, get out of here, and stop following me.”[3]
I blink…Holy Shit! I am Demetrius. How is this possible? Shit like this can never happen, can it? Kingsley, or rather, Helena looks at me with an expression of both hurt and love. She’s so in love with me she doesn’t care how I treat her. I can tell.
“You attract me to you, you cruel magnet!” She yells at me. “But you must not attract iron, because my heart is as true as steel. If you let go of your power to attract me, I won’t have any power to follow you.”[4]
At her words, I get upset. What is she implying? “Do I ask you to follow me? Do I speak to you kindly? Don’t I tell you in the clearest terms that I do not and cannot love you?”[5]I break the situation down for her.
King/Helena looks at me with determination in her eyes. She lifts her chin stubbornly. “Yes, but that makes me love you even more. I’m your little dog, Demetrius. The more you beat me, the more I’ll love you. Treat me like you would treat a dog—kick me, hit me, neglect me, try to lose me. Just let me follow behind you, even though I’m not good enough for you. Could I ask for a worse place in your heart than to be treated as you would treat a dog? And yet I would consider it an honour to be your dog.”[6]
I growl at her and get closer, invading her space. What is this feeling of being angry yet mildly aroused by her words? How can I want someone, yet I’m disgusted by her? “Don’t push it. Just looking at you makes me sick.”[7]
She whimpers as if she wants to be a part of me. Like she wants to crawl in my skin and be with me forever. “And I get sick when I can’t look at you.”[8]She confesses like a lovesick puppy.
I shake my head. This shit makes little sense. “You’re risking your reputation by leaving the city and stalking someone who doesn’t love you. Standing around alone in a deserted area in the middle of the night isn’t the best way to protect your virginity.”[9]
The stubbornness sticks. Her big brown eyes stare into mine. She isn’t flinching. She’s decided. “I rely on your virtue to protect me. And because I can see your shining face, it doesn’t feel like nighttime to me. This forest doesn’t seem deserted when you’re here, because you are all the world to me. So how can anyone say I’m alone, when the whole world is here to look at me?”[10]
I grit my teeth. “I’ll run away from you and hide in the bushes and leave you to the mercy of wild animals.”[11]
She narrows her eyes, stepping into my space. Bold as ever at the time when women weren’t as bold. She dared get in my face. “The wildest animal isn’t as cruel as you are. Run whenever you want to. The story of Daphne and Apollo will be changed.”[12]
I shake my head one more time and I’m back in the club. Nothing seemed to have changed. I’m the only one who seemed to be out of it for a moment. Well, things changed a little. I spot King dancing and rapping word for word to a throwback; Gin & Juice by Snoop. I momentarily forget about what just transpired as I smile at King. I love that I keep getting to meet different sides of her. The fact that she knows all the words makes me proud. I love all the good throwbacks. Sublime music is sublime music, no matter the genre. I smirk as she opens her eyes and we make eye contact. There’s something about the way she’s looking at me, though. It’s not the same as before. It’s as if a portal has been open. More for me and not her. Fuck. This is real. She’s Helena and I’m Demetrius. How the hell did that happen? How are we here? I don’t believe in reincarnations, but I’m sitting here watching our life happen again. It replays itself over and over in a loop in my head while I watch King.
I shake my head, shut my eyes and open them again. When I do, King has stopped dancing and moving. She’s watching me with worry in her eyes. She takes a step towards me and I shake my head. I don’t want her to worry about me. I need to figure out what the hell is happening, but one thing is for sure, I am better than Demetrius because this time; I chose her despite other temptations… Didn’t I or did she choose me in all her stubbornness?
