Page 47 of Free-Falling
He shuts his eyes for a moment. “Yes, I’m afraid I’ll either break your heart or something insane like that when I tell you something you should have known a long time ago. Maybe this is the perfect moment so that your subscribers can be a part of this announcement.”
“What is it? You’re scaring me.” I admit.
“It’s about your heart, your donor. I know that the information is usually not made available, but I want you to know something. That your donor is, well was, my twin, Jamie.”
I don’t know how to process this information. I just stare at Jagger. Is he serious right now? “Are you for real Jagger?” My voice is shaking hard, actually my entire body is.
“Yes.” He says sitting up. He places the now forgotten camera down and cups my face in his hands.
“I’m sorry?” I say, not too sure why I’m even saying that.
“Oh my pretty baby Ainslee, don’t you ever apologize. Ever. Look at me, I’m not sorry that you got his heart. Without you having it, I would’ve been robbed of loving you. I love you so much so that when you asked me that question of changing anything before, I told you that I wouldn’t change a thing. Because if I had my brother back, I wouldn’t have had you here with me today. I miss Jamie every single day, but I know that wherever he is, he’s content. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, Ains.” He wipes the tears that I can’t control.
“Oh my God.” I say as Jagger’s words sink in and I can’t help but start sobbing. I wrap my arms around Jagger so tight, knowing I’ll never let him go. Not for nothing.
“She okay?” I hear Karessa and Oran ask.
Jagger chuckles. “Yeah, she is. I told her the truth, Oran.” He announces.
I wrap my legs around his waist too. I’ll always be grateful to Jamie Hanlon for his heart, even if his life ended tragically.
“You want to go back to the villa, baby?” Jagger asks me as he kisses the side of my head.
I nod. “Yes.”
Chapter 16
Ainslee
Back at the villa, Jagger ushers me to the bedroom and instead of sitting inside, we lay back on the couch on the balcony while Karessa preps the food Oran helping her. I can see that things have really shifted for them and I’m happy for her. I relax, laying my head on Jagger’s chest. Ever since he told me the truth about my donor, I haven’t let go of him and I know he’s noticed. All I could think about was Jagger never having his twin with him anymore. I don’t blame myself or anything, but I wish I could give him that.
“Jag,” I call out to him.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Don’t you miss Jamie? I know that it’s obvious, but it’s just, you never really talk about him much and today is the first time you’ve talked about him. I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, baby, anything on this planet earth of ours.” I say.
Jagger kisses the top of my head. “Thanks, pretty baby. I miss Jamie, darling. It’s weird losing a twin. It’s like feeling like you’ll never be whole again, no matter what you do. It’s hard as hell for me sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if this is what Jamie would’ve looked like. I used to dream of him a lot as a little kid, but growing up, it became less and less to where all I could do was look at pictures to remember his face. Isn’t that weird? Remembering my brother’s face when we looked like carbon copies of each other? But that’s the thing, I knew every single thing different on his face compared to mine and now, I don’t see it. I feel like a failure because I forget his face.” Jagger chuckles, but I know there’s no humor there. He’s hurt by this.
I reposition myself. I sit now, facing him. “Baby… ” I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never had a sibling to feel the way he does, but I can tell by the faraway look in his eyes, it hurts.
Jagger says nothing either, instead, he stands stretching his hand out to me. I put mine in his, and he leads me to the bathroom. I look at the bear-claw bath, wondering when Jagger had the time to fill it. Jagger turns to me removing my linen shorts, my bathing suit, and he pulls my hair free from the braid that I put it in. I stand exposed in front of him and I feel Jagger’s fingers make their way to my lower back where my scars are located. He grunts but says nothing as he trails over each slash mark that has faded yet can be felt with the tip of the fingers. “Undress me.” He commands.
I don’t hesitate as I begin removing the t-shirt he put on, then his swim trunks leaving him naked. Jagger climbs into the bathtub which is big enough for him to fit in. He gestures for me to climb in, so I do. I sit opposite of him, and he lifts my leg massaging my foot. I tilt my head, there’s something that he’s just said that’s sparked something inside of me. I yank my foot out and get out of the tub quickly. I almost slip but I manage as I go back to the bedroom grabbing my cell. I go to my emergency contacts and press the contact without hesitation. On the third ring, the phone picks up.
“Ainslee, is everything okay? Are you all right? Mikonos reported nothing. But you’re calling. It must mean something happened to him. Is he okay? Is my son okay?” My father’s alarmed yet groggy voice comes in. I forgot about the time difference.
I’m not shocked that my father called Mikonos his son, I’m shocked at the alarming tone in his voice. “He’s fine, dad, that’s not why I called.” I try to remain monotone even though I’m disappointed that he’d be worried about him and not me.
“Okay, good, but what about you? What’s wrong? You never return my calls or call me first.” I hear a door shut. He must’ve left the bedroom.
“Dad, I need to ask you something. Did you know?” My heart is beating like crazy. I’m thankful that Jagger didn’t follow me out here. I don’t want him to hear the answer with me.
“Know what? Ainslee, are you sure you’re okay?”
