Page 49 of Dear, Carson McDermott
He left me there thinking about his last words.Be the first of us to break it, fight for your girl…
He was right. Enough was enough. I had to fight for this one more time. Give us one last chance before I ended up like my father. I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted love. I wanted my wife, Katerina Di’Maggio-McDermott, the woman molded for me. My Heaven sent.
Chapter 16
Katerina
Cross or like she let me call her Lisette kicked my ass. I laid flat on the mat as I regulated my breathing. I shut my eyes, ready to pass the fuck out from this vigorous training. Who the hell did she think I was? I honestly was only trying to kill Carson’s mother. Like maybe shank her, or I don’t know, stab her repeatedly or, the best one, shoot her point-blank. But no, I didn’t get that luxury. Instead, Carson had me training with an Amazonian chocolate, drop-dead gorgeous woman who could probably kill me with a snap of her fingers.
It had been five weeks of this insane training and I thought I was going to die. I swear, right now, I wasn’t even alive. She shoved food down my throat, damn I thought I wasn’t supposed to have carbs, but she educated me on the good and bad ones.
“Five weeks and you’ve got some junk in your trunk once more huh?” I heard her say.
I opened my eyes and she stood over me like some goddess. Her hair was up in a high tight bun showing off her features from her button nose, her big brown eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, and her arched brows. One of which was higher than the other as she stared at me.
“Must you do this to me every day?” I groaned.
She smiled as she extended her hand out to me. I took her hand in mine as she basically pulled my little ass up.
“If you want to beat your enemies, you have to surprise em’. In order to surprise em’, you have to be faster than em’. Quick as fuck ya know?” She said shrugging.
I nodded,
“I do but does my ass have to hurt in the process too?”
At this, she laughed all the way up the stairs. Was I that funny? Suddenly, she stopped laughing. When I looked where she was staring at, I saw Bear and Bubba as they were shadow boxing outside as Brownie watched. Brownie was now ten weeks, we got him when he was five weeks old. He was well behaved, probably because the poor little thing felt like me, up too damn early. I eyed Cross again,
“Something on your mind? Spill, girl!” I said.
She nervously chuckled as she finally snapped out of it and we headed in the direction of the kitchen.
“More like when is he not on my mind,” she answered truthfully.
What I liked about her was that she was so transparent with me. She was quickly becoming what she said we’d be, best friends.
“Why don’t you just talk to him? You love him, right?”
She arched that brow of hers again,
“course I do. Fuck! I’d be with him now if I could but as Bear said to me numerous times when we decided to try this shit out, we’re toxic AF. He isn’t lyin’ either. I agree wit’ im’. I have a lot of issues, things I kept buried deep inside of me as we grew up trainin’, killin’ and all of that. There’s this darkness in me that not even Bear can exorcise out. We’ve tried, trust me so if that’s the next thing out of your mouth.”
I smirked,
“it’s not, smartass.” I chuckled. “What I was going to say was maybe that’s your issue. Both you and Bear, you keep trying to exorcise a part of you that’s clearly there to stay. Your darkness makes you who you are. It makes you strong and it brought you here today. Without that, you can’t be Cross. Bear can say whatever the fuck he wants but I see the way he looks at you. When you’re in the room, he doesn’t see a damn thing but you. His focus is on you. He may hide it but he’s a McDermott. I’ve noticed that’s a trait of theirs that they can’t shake. Stubborn as mules, transparent yet at the same time, a vault with so much information that they reveal at the right time. He loves you, I know this, but you guys have to stop for a moment and think, like can you love each other the way you are? Instead of changing who you are, how about you both accept who ya’ll are now? Fuck all the noise.”
When I finished giving her advice, Cross clapped her hands.
“You are wise, Katerina McDermott. Bubba knew to never let you go. How about you take that advice of yours and fuck that noise. Get rid of the extra baggage, huh?”
I was confused,
“what do you mean?”
“Your bitch ass friend, Cassie. Don’t like her. I can smell her stank, rotten ass, ran through pussy from here and she’s not even in the house.”
I gasped, trying not to laugh.
“Lisette! She’s not ran through, oh my God.”
