Page 42 of Dear, Carson McDermott
“There’s somethin’ you should know,” he started.
“What happened?”
He sighed,
“It’s about when I lived with my mom and her then-boyfriend. There are things I’ve never told you and it wasn’t just to protect myself, it was to keep you from going to hunt her down and kill her. My mother and her boyfriend used to hit me, and I mean a whole lot. This was when I lived in Hawaii. No matter what I did, I always got punched or backhanded. The worst was when somethin’ would break in our house whether they did it or not, I’d get an epic ass-whooping'. I genuinely have no idea how I remember all that because I was five when dad came and got me. He didn’t know about me before that but myTina, sorry, my Maw Maw found me one day just on the floor, starved, and beaten. I don’t remember half of it, butTinatold me that she rushed me to the hospital and never left my side.”
My hands began trembling, I moved from the coffee table to kneel in front of him. I just wanted to get as close as I could. Brownie took this opportunity to wake up, he must’ve read the room because as sleepy as he looked, he moved from Carson’s lap to the other side of the couch. I squeezed his hand in both of mine. Then it was like touching his hand made me feel that he still had his wedding ring on. I looked down at his hand, the black and gold band was still there. I wanted to ask him about it, but he continued.
“Tinaknew who my real father was, and they always kept in contact because he was my mother’s ex-husband. She called him and saved me from my mother and Ricardo. The worst part is my mother didn’t even fight for me, she yelled in that hospital room at my father telling him that she didn’t even want me. She looked me in my eyes telling me that she wished she never had me. She threw me away without ever looking back, she abandoned me, and I loved her. She was my mom,” A tear slipped out of his eye.
My hand reached out touching his cheek, wiping away that single tear. The only other time Carson cried was when we lost our Jude. I sat up and threw caution out of the window. I know I said I’d be his friend first, but my man was hurting. I slid into his lap. Straddling him, I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed his cheek first, not even caring that he didn’t wrap his arms around my waist. I pulled back, kissing his other cheek, then his forehead and before he let go of me, I cupped his face. I gazed into his eyes,
“Teach me how to love you,” I said to him. “Show me how to never hurt you the way she did. To never bring tears to your eyes and to never abandon you. Please, I want to learn, the right way this time.”
Before he could respond, I kissed him. I can admit that I was afraid he would say no hence my kiss and after a second of begging him with my lips, it seemed like he wasn’t going to accept but I felt his hand on the back of my head. He groaned as his other arm wrapped around my waist pulling me closer to him. I forgot how lost I got in his kisses, how fucking amazing it felt to have his lips on mine. How much I lost myself in him. My hands moved from his face to wrap themselves around his neck. I didn’t want to let go but I reluctantly did, when I pulled away, I placed my forehead on his. He opened his eyes and I was met with those beautiful amber eyes.
“Hi,” he greeted me.
“Hi,” I said back to him.
Carson smiled as his hand came up. He traced over my bottom lip with his thumb,
“I thought you said you wanted to be friends?” He cocked his eyebrow at me.
I shrugged,
“I could never just be your friend,” I confessed. “Also, I’m going to kill your mother.”
Carson chuckled,
“fine by me,” he said but the smile left his face. “I have somethin’ else to tell you. Ricardo, my mom’s now-husband and my mother are responsible for the car accident. With you and Jude.”
I wanted to say something, but every emotion got stuck in my throat. This time, it was my tears that came out. I held onto Carson for fear I was going to faint. I would do this with him this time around, I wasn’t going to run away. I wasn’t only going to be a Di’Maggio in this instant. I was going to be more than that because I was. I was now a McDermott. Carson was my family and anyone who snatched my son from my hands would die. The fact that this woman made my Carson cry more than once, I was going to end her. I would watch her die from my own hands.
“They took enough from us, Bubba. Enough is enough. You hear me?”
He hugged me back tightly,
“I hear you, my darlin’.”
****
Carson
I shouldn’t have kissed Katerina because now there was nothing I wanted to do more. She was talking to me telling me what she got up to in the years that we didn’t see each other but I couldn’t concentrate at all. We shouldn’t have even been in the same damn room. It was hard enough sleeping on the same bed with her for the past weeks going on a month without touching her. I didn’t even know how I did it. I shook my head, making myself focus on what she was saying.
“I met some good people out in Nevada. Learned a couple of new shooting tricks. I could teach you,” She winked at me.
I chuckled as I threw popcorn at her while she sat arm’s length away from me on the couch while we pretended to watch TV, yet I could tell you that neither of us knew what was airing at the moment.
“Darlin’,” for some reason, that nickname came back so easily as if it never left. “About Cross,” I began.
Her brows furrowed,
“Who’s Cross?”
“The psycho that was on the phone,” I rolled my eyes. I had to let Katerina know who she was because Cross was on her way here and it was going to be interesting because her ex was coming too.
