Page 19 of Dear, Carson McDermott
“Yeah,” my eyes fluttered as I felt him grow hard underneath me. “Let me text Cassie. I’ll tell her to cover for me.”
Carson gripped me harder and rubbed his hardened dick on me. He groaned, this time longer.
“Okay, okay let me behave. Text Cassie and call your parents. Go head’, I’ll be here.”
I chuckled, leaning down to give him a couple of pecks.
“Thanks, baby. I’m gonna call ma then I’m gonna go freshen up. Can I borrow your shirt?”
He smiled at me.
“You can borrow whatever ya want sweetness. What’s mine is yours, always.”
I swear this man wanted me to give my heart even more than I already had.
****
Carson
Being with Katerina was something new and different for me. I didn’t know how to function, yet I loved that it was a challenge. We were meant to be together whether we realized it before or not. That didn’t matter anymore because now, we were in this, and I was never letting her go. I watched as she went to the en-suite bathroom, I heard her muffled voice as she called her mom and then she called Cassie telling her where she was.
I was glad that tomorrow was Saturday because I knew that once I crashed, it was going to take so much more for me to come back to. My body was going to be in a load of pain. Taking my mind off that, Katerina came back into my room.
“All good?” I asked her as she came closer with nothing on but my tee and her panties.
She smiled,
“Yeah.” She answered.
I scooted over giving her space to get in. My bed was custom-designed to fit my big ass, so she didn’t need to worry about hogging up all the space. Katerina got in and cuddled right up to me, it put the biggest smile on my face. I wanted to talk some more but I was so damn tired. I slipped my arm around her waist, kissed the back of her head and before I knew it, I was knocked out cold.
****
When I came to, the sun was already out, and I swear the smell of pancakes, sausage, and bacon-filled my nose. I inhaled again, hoping that I wasn’t seriously dreaming of food right now. Katerina wasn’t in bed with me, so she must’ve been the one to either cook it or order it. Katerina never cooked when I was around so I couldn’t jump to that conclusion. I slowly got out of bed due to my aching body. I gritted my teeth as the weight of yesterday’s game and impact made itself known. It was weird, this pain gave me a high. I didn’t try to get myself hurt on purpose or anything but nevertheless, I basked in the pain that came after a big game.
Showering had to be the hardest thing I had to do all day but finally, I got out. I brushed my teeth and braided my hair back in one big braid. After rubbing lotion on my body, I got dressed in basketball shorts and a white tee shirt. I took my time walking out to the hall and down the stairs. I have never felt like this house was too big but right now, everything felt too far.
When I got to the kitchen, Katerina had her music playing as she danced while she cooked. This was something else that I could confirm. She could cook. She swayed toWomanby Mumford & Sons. I loved this song and the fact that she also listened to it made me smile. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“You like Mumford & Sons too?” I asked as I laid the top of my chin on her head.
“I don’t like them; I love them, and this song is my favorite.” She stated.
“Damn. I knew I loved you for a reason,” I said without thinking about a damn thing.
Katerina paused mid turning off the stove. My heart beat so fast, I thought I was going to die right then and there. I didn’t deny that I loved her, but I wanted to say it another time, where I was sure she was ready to hear it. Unfortunately, the slip of the tongue and me being tired took precedence over logical thinking. I held my breath not sure how she would process or receive this. I had been confident in everything else but this, this was the moment I realized I was still that eighteen-year-old boy who never truly understood love. My parents never loved each other enough to stay together, my father never remarried or claimed he loved any other woman and my mother, she never came around. She never told me she loved me when she gave me up to my father. She never said she wanted me back or that what she was doing was the right call for me. All I knew was that I didn’t know nor understand it yet here I was, in love with my best friend’s sister.
I wanted to hold on to the idea that I didn’t deserve this nor was I worthy of this girl, but I knew I loved her. Deep in my heart, even if everything in me remained silent, this didn’t. I could never shut it down. This was something that I knew I couldn’t give up on. Trust me, I tried. I tried so hard to not fall for this girl. The first time I met her, I fell for her smile and those deep dimples. Her beautiful soulful brown eyes that gave me peace amongst all my chaos and that’s when I knew. I’ve known since I stepped foot in her life that I loved her. I knew I was going to tell her one day that she was to be mine, my future wife, the mother of all my kids no matter how many she decided she wanted to have. I would give her every part of me if she wanted.
I shut my eyes, squeezing them like I used to do when I was a child. Whenever my mother would scream at me, call me all sorts of names and tell me how worthless I was. I tried not to go back to that time and luckily, I didn’t have to because Katerina turned in my arms. I felt her small hands on my face, I leaned into the sensation of how much I loved her hands on me.
“Open your eyes, baby.” That small statement made me open them. I gazed into her eyes; they were filled with tears.
I wasn’t sure if those tears were tears of sadness or happiness, so I went with the negative because that’s all that’s tainted my life from the first woman I’ve ever loved. One who couldn’t love me back despite my love for her being genuine.
“I’m sorry,” I said to her in a voice so small, I wasn’t even sure I had said it.
“No, Carson, look at me please.” I made eye contact with her again, tears were still flowing down her face. “I love you.”
