Page 4 of Marriage Ever After
“My phone, it’s fucked. I emailed Jamie to get me a new one, but she’ll have it ready for me in the morning.”
“Makes sense. Your anger is still fucked till this day. I can’t believe you fucking missed her birthday. I literally told you that I was going home to get ready. What the fuck, dude?”
I sighed, exasperated.
“You don’t have to ride my ass man, I literally forgot, and it wasn’t on purpose. I was making sure all the other cases were caught up then Greg wanted to get drinks to celebrate.”
Channing shook his head.
“Are you not the same dumb-ass who drilled me on how a husband was supposed to behave? I know that you’re not wandering nor are your feelings changing for Mils, but can you consider the fact that your wife spends her nights without you? Greg is my boy too but he’s single, you can’t go on his shitty timeline.”
I wanted to say something foul, but Channing was right, I couldn’t go off Greg’s schedule, he didn’t have those kinds of responsibilities. I had a wife and kid but at the same time, I felt like my wife didn’t even want to be with me. The feeling of resentment, some hardened truth and realization hit me.
“I just… I don’t know. I needed a break, Chan. I know it’s not her fault, but shit’s been tough and rocky with me and her. I love this woman, but she makes it hard sometimes, I told her that I wanted another baby…”
I whispered this part as though it was some kind of secret but really I wasn’t ready to rehash it all with her again. It was the biggest argument we have ever had. I said some nasty things right along with her.
Channing’s eyes widened.
“Whoa! You finally had the conversation with her? What did she say?”
I shrugged my shoulders placing my closed fits in my hoodie’s pocket.
“She fucking laughed. She thought I was joking. I love being a father man and I wouldn’t want to have another child without her wanting one too, but you know me, I’ve always wanted a big family. Mila and I talked about this but now, she says she’s too busy and they’ll get in the way of her career. I get it, I fucking do but still. I just really love being a dad.”
I looked away, staring at the wall instead of looking at the pity in Channing’s eyes.
“Yeah, I get you man, but do you love that more than being a husband? Just think about that.”
He clammed up after that and when I turned towards the archway in the foyer, I knew why. There my beautiful wife was. Mila took my breath away every chance I saw her. Even if she looked like she hadn’t slept at all. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, she wore yoga pants and a sweater. She had Jordan in her arms, and I went to full-on dad mode walking over to grab Jordan from her mother. She was getting heavier; I didn’t want Mila to take the load herself. I looked down at her, she was avoiding eye contact with me.
“You ready to go?” I softly asked her.
She nodded not saying much to me. She held on tight to her gym bag and Jordan’s backpack. I clenched my teeth trying not to go into a defensive mode with her. She deserved to be mad at me, I deserved her cold shoulder. I fucked up and I knew it.
****
The drive back home was excruciating, it was so silent in the car and Mila had her eyes shut, her head leaning on the window. I turned the radio on making it worse because Adele’s Remedy came on. I turned it down not wanting to think about what the words in the song were saying but it was so quiet that I had no choice. When we got to a red light, I turned to look at Mila, she had tears in her eyes. I clenched the steering wheel hard causing my knuckles to pale even more. I quickly looked in the rear-view mirror at a still sleeping Jordan, I didn’t want her to witness me making her mother cry. I never wanted to be this guy, when did this happen?
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “Please…Bunny, please, forgive me.”
Mila didn’t say anything at first. She swiped at her tears that seem to become even more apparent the moment the song changed. Goddamn it Adele! Was she out to get me tonight? Her song, All I ask decided to shed on our situation. The light turned green and I turned to the street towards our home. She didn’t answer to my apology and I knew that I’d hurt her in a way that I couldn’t fix easily. When we reached our home, I parked my range next to hers in the garage, it was both a blessing and a curse that she didn’t take her car with her. A blessing because I could pick her up, but a curse cause I thought she was home.
“I got Jordy. You go inside.”
She still didn’t speak to me. Although I had shut the engine off, it felt like the song carried with us both. Mila went inside while I got Jordan out of her booster seat. I walked in our home, silent as ever not able to say another word because I felt a sickening, dreadful ass emotion take over my body. I shuddered as I placed Jordan in her bed, tucking her in. I kissed her goodnight and when I entered the master bedroom, Mila was packing her suitcase. Fuck. I stood in the bedroom doorway; the room’s cream décor clashed with the mood. Mila didn’t stop going back and forth packing. I walked up to her and hugged her from behind,
“Baby, please… Mila, I’m sorry.”
“Let me go, Kash.”
There was a conviction in her voice.
“No.” I turned her around to face me. I glared at her. “I’m never letting you go, Mila. I don’t give a fuck how much we argue. You’re it for me.”
She shook her head.
“I gave you chance after chance, Kash and you blew it.”
