Page 28 of Marriage Ever After
“Why?”
“If I don’t stop now, I’ll turn into him. I’ll become someone I hate myself. Someone who does things out of anger, frustration and because he feels he’s entitled to. There are certain things that I’ve done that I will never regret like teaching that bastard a lesson that thought he could take advantage of my wife in a state that she herself didn’t ask to be in. There will always be a dark side of me that I will never wish away but I want to do better for my family. I want Mila to be happy.”
Dr. Harrison nodded as she jotted a couple of notes down then she had that hard look on her face. I knew she was going to ask a very probing question.
“I’m glad you want Mila to be happy. I approve of that as well but tell me, Kash, do you want YOU to be happy? What about Kash Emerson, what about him?”
Kash just stared at Dr. Harrison. Was Kash not happy? What wasn’t he happy about? I would do everything in my power to give it to him and make him happy.
After a minute of silence, Kash blinked.
“I am happy.”
Dr. Harrison kept that eye contact with Kash.
“Are you?” She questioned.
Kash clenched his jaw.
“I said I was, didn’t I?”
Dr. Harrison nodded.
“Now, I’m not trying to upset you, Kash. I’m just asking what about you? You worry about those around you, Mila included but what about you?”
Kash narrowed his eyes at her,
“I don’t get it. Mila gives a fuck about me and so does my uncle. They worry about me; a lot more than I care to want them to.”
Dr. Harrison sighed. She placed her notepad down on her side table, took her glasses off and got real with Kash.
“I know they do , Kash. I don’t doubt that not one bit but I’m not asking you about them. I’m asking you about you. Do you worry about yourself ?”
Kash slipped his hand out of mine as he ran both hands over his face as he leaned down a bit placing his elbows on his upper thighs.
“I don’t know, Dr. Harrison. I don’t know if I’ve ever worried about myself before. I’ve been my own mother and father for as long as I could remember. I made sure that what I did for me, I did it to not gone insane.”
“One more question for you, if you’ll allow it.” Dr. Harrison asked Kash.
“Yeah, might as well, just gut me now, doc.”
She gave Kash an actual smile this time instead of the smirk from before.
“Have you ever just stopped and thought about how you truly feel deep down inside? How the younger Kash felt when he couldn’t truly be a kid then he worked so hard. So, so hard to achieve high scores in all his subjects in school, win every medal when it came to swimming, then go off to Law school, graduate at the top of his class and then open up his own law firm with no doubts. Then not only that, in the five years, his law firm thrived, and he was known as a cutthroat defence lawyer. Where are your medals, awards, degrees and recognition for all that you’ve achieved, Kash?”
Kash covered his face in his hands,
“in our storage room.”
“I know I said one more question but hey, hardball right?” Dr. Harrison chuckled. “Why are you not showing them off, Kash? Why can’t you be proud of yourself?”
“Because my father never wanted to see them. I’ve gotten used to them, why should I show them now? What’s the point?”
My heart broke for Kash. It really did. For someone who grew up with a father like that, Kash had a really big heart, bigger than mine ever could be.
Dr. Harrison turned her attention me on,
“Mila, would you like to see all that Kash has ever achieved in his life? Are you proud of him?”
