Page 25 of Marriage Ever After
I shook my head, laughing.
“You’re such a mess, Kash…” I admitted to him. “Anyways, you remember that one time during my mom’s trial when you gave me your good luck charm? Even though you weren’t supposed to talk to me, and I wasn’t all that friendly?”
Kash scoffed.
“All that friendly?” He repeated. “You told me to go fuck myself and that you didn’t need my fucking pity. You told me to take my good luck charm and shove it up my ass.”
I couldn’t help it as I laughed so hard, tears came out of my eyes.
“Baby, stop, that’s not true. I don’t even remember me saying something like that to you.”
As the light turned green, Kash began driving again but quickly side-eyed me.
“Don’t be a liar, bunny. You were so mean to me for no reason and that wasn’t the only time I tried to reach out. All I wanted was for you to stop crying every time I caught you doing just that. I’ve never told you this, but I was the one who begged Unc to help you out. I wanted you to be happy and get what you needed. Your mom didn’t deserve the sentencing that she got because she was trying to protect herself from her boyfriend.”
I sighed, staring out the window.
“There’s something you should know about that. My mother never wanted me to say anything, but I feel like you should know. After she died, I never wanted to bring it up ever again. I wanted to bury it so far down that it would never resurface but I feel like you should know this.”
I looked at Kash as his face formed a confused expression.
“What is it, bunny?”
“ You know how sometimes I have nightmares but then after our whole falling out, they got really intense. Like really bad. I know you heard them because every time I’d come out to get a glass of water, I’d find it at my door with you sleeping right next to it.”
Kash gave me a small smile.
“And I know you’re the one who always put my head on a pillow and covered me with a blanket even if you never admitted it.” He winked at me. “Now, speak to me.”
My thoughts grew somber,
“it’s about momma and what she did for me. Her boyfriend, the guy that I call my stepfather.” I bitterly chuckled. “I don’t even know why I call him that when he wasn’t a father to me. He wasn’t physically abusive towards me at first. It started with small shit like always yelling or getting up in my face, but I was the girl who stayed quiet. I wasn’t quiet because I was scared. I was quiet because I don’t like confrontation but when he raised a hand to my momma, I didn’t care how much money he had, the pull or the fact that he was your dad’s judge buddy. I didn’t give two fucks about how long they had become friends for, sorry your dad rambled a lot about their shitty friendship. Well, he had hit momma once and I lost my shit. I loved that woman with all my heart and now that I’m older, it makes me realize that she wasn’t all there sometimes. That she would check out. So, I did it.”
We pulled up towards Dr. Harrison’s building and Kash parked the car. He turned off the engine and slowly turned to face me,
“you did what you had to do to protect your momma and that’s that.”
He stated.
“You don’t even know what I did or didn’t do.”
Kash nodded.
“You’ll tell me when you’re ready and my answer won’t change either. I know you, bunny. I know who you are and what you would do to protect your loved ones just because you had a momentary lapse of judgement lately, doesn’t change your character or who you are to me.”
I shut my eyes, nodding, letting it all sink in.
“I was the one who killed him, Kash. I used all my weight and them some when I tackled him to the floor. I didn’t even remember where or when I had that weapon on me. All I know is the pocketknife I had, I stabbed him over and over losing myself because he was trying to take the only person that protected me. I did it for my momma, but she took the fall for me. She made me go upstairs, change and then she made it all disappear. Not once had she ever teared up through the court proceedings. I sobbed like a big baby when she got her sentencing, but she told me that she was my protector and not the other way around.”
Kash grabbed my jaw in his dominant hand, the left and squeezed. It was his way of fully getting my attention. He gazed into my eyes, his displaying that dangerous glint.
“If I had known then, I would’ve told you, you did the right thing. You protected the one you love, and I just want to say, I’m sorry, bunny. I’m sorry for not being there for a very important birthday that involved your mother’s date when she would be getting out. I seriously have no way of ever making it up to you, but I will try, darling. She didn’t deserve the harsh sentence she got and if I could’ve I would’ve taken it away. Her case was the reason why I was a criminal defence lawyer, justice was not served in her case and I wanted to prevent that from ever happening again to an innocent woman like her. Both you and she were innocent and were victims of a disgusting man that thought verbal and physical violence was okay, it wasn’t. He doesn’t get to have the honor of you calling him a stepfather, he wasn’t even a man, you don’t need that kind of tainted man to be in your life and I promise you, darling, that I will never be him. Never.”
I leaned in, initiating the first kiss. I knew Kash was shocked because this was the second time ever since my breakdown but lately, all I wanted was to feel him any way that I could. His shock lasted for less than a second then he groaned deeply causing that sound to shoot all the way to my core. My entire body seemed to lose focus on what or who we were here for as I deepened the kiss opening my mouth for more. I felt Kash’s right hand as it slid into my straightened hair, he grasped my hair so tight in his hand and I whimpered in pure satisfaction. Placing a hand at the nape of his neck, I showed him how much I missed this; his lips, his connection to my body, the way that he kissed like he was going to bring me to another planet, a whole nother world. Kash pulled away causing me to open my eyes and pout at him.
He smirked, biting his bottom lip. His hair was tousled, when did I even get into that? He stared at me for a moment, the desire never disappearing, if anything it was much more intense than it’d ever been.
“Bunny, this is the only time I’m asking you this. Are you ready for me?”
