Page 22 of Marriage Ever After
I shut my eyes, breaking away from the intensity of his eyes.
“Listen to me, Kash…” I waited for him to interrupt but he didn’t. I opened my eyes as he watched me, waiting. “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m sorry that I went to the clinic without you. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have because you’re my husband. YOU’RE my best friend and that’s why there’s something I want you to know, I want to get on the antidepressants.”
Kash blinked.
“Will it hurt you or the baby? Honey, I don’t want you to do something that will harm you. We can stick to the therapy. I’ve also been reading, there are other holistic approaches if you’re uncomfortable with that.”
I shook my head. Tears coming down my face because this was changing our lives. “I talked to Dr. Harrison; she says there are certain selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors that I can take. I told her that I wanted to try something else. Something that would bring me back to my old self. I want to love you as I used to Kash. I want to feel and feel from you and Jordy. I want to be her mother. I want to be present not just for myself but for you. We have issues, yes… but let me make an effort.”
Kash shut his eyes, nodding.
“Do what is best for us, bunny.”
“I’m sorry about all this, Kash. Please tell me you’re okay. I’m worried about you.”
Kash was smiling like a fool. When he smiled, it transformed his entire face making his eyes radiate.
“Don’t worry, bunny. If I knew all I had to do was fight a man to get you to let me touch you, I would’ve done it long ago.”
I scoffed and before I could say anything else. Kash kissed me. I didn’t feel like pulling away nor did I feel like disconnecting instead, I felt my entire world spin faster than it had ever spun before.
Chapter Seven
Kash
Three days. Three whole days, my father was able to get the pull on me to stay inside. It was odd because I thought we were on better terms than that. I didn’t say anything to him, and he didn’t come near me, but he was like a thorn on my side.
The moment the jail cell was opened, I walked out of there not looking back. In front of the station, I found Mila sleeping on the chairs. How long has she been doing this? After the first night, they refused for me to see her and I didn’t fight it because I knew that every chance she got she would be here instead of resting. At the end of the day, she was pregnant, and she hadn’t made it out of the first trimester just yet. I walked over to her sleeping form crouching so that I could watch her like I used to. It was weird, I know every little detail about her face, but I felt like I was seeing her for the first time. I traced over her brows causing her to wrinkle her face. It made me snicker. This prompted her to open her eyes and when she did, the smile she gave me was all worth this.
“I missed you, bunny.”
She sat up, taking a look at me. She searched my face for I don’t know what, but she made sure to check me out as much as she could.
“Are you okay, baby?”
Her sweet voice was all that I needed to be okay. I nodded.
“Now that I’ve seen you, I’m okay.”
Those tears that I hated so much appeared again as she quickly wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Kash…”
She sobbed openly. She never used to cry this much so I wondered if it was the worry, her not being herself or if it was the hormones… or worse all combined. I hugged her tighter, missing her body near mine. Damn, I don’t know how I did it. How I didn’t sneak in a touch or two even by mistake.
“Hey…baby, it’s okay.”
“I was so worried about you.”
I shouldn’t have been smiling at her being worried about me, but it was great to hear that she wasn’t having negative thoughts but in a way positive ones because she was worried about me.
“Don’t be worried, bunny. I’m fine, I’m here, aren’t I?”
She hugged me even tighter.
“You are here, and you stink too.”
At this, I couldn’t help it as I laughed. The kind of laughter that comes from deep down inside of you.
