Page 24 of Whispers and Warriors
William turned to her, his blue eyes meeting her green ones. “I’m thinking about who I am,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “About who I want to be. Without the military, I don’t know that I have any skills. Sure I’m good with tech, but not like Alex. Not like Liam too, though his tech is a little more specific.”
Emma reached out, her hand finding his once more. “You’re a good man, William,” she said, her words filled with conviction. “A man who does what he has to do to protect the people he loves.”
William nodded, his throat tight with emotion. “I know,” he said. “But I never want to lose sight of that. I never want to become someone I don’t recognize.”
Someone like Marcus and the safe haven directors. The bitter thought rocked through him and he closed his eyes, knowing that sleep might be the only way to drown it all out.
TEN
Emma satin the back of the truck, her thoughts whirling like the dust kicked up by the tires on the broken road. The fields and hills of her family’s farm flashed through her mind, a siren song of safety and nostalgia amidst the chaos of their shattered world. It hadn’t been perfect—which is why she’d dared to leave—but it had been something she understood. Something she could navigate.
She could picture it so clearly, so vividly even though she’d spent so much time taking it for granted back before. She could almost smell the animals in the sturdy house, the well-stocked root cellar, and the wet dirt that helped her grow what she needed. The animals she’d kept alive were no doubt now all slaughtered for food, but it was what they’d been for before the bombs and at least they’d helped people.
It would be so easy to ask Chris to turn the truck west, to retreat to that isolated haven and shut out the dangers that chased them. They could be okay there, back at her farm. It wasn’t likely the government would look for them there, and she’d done okay with the supplies she had. It would be harderwithout eggs and milk, but the government food drops were still a thing. Or at least she assumed.
But even as the temptation tugged at her, Emma knew it was an illusion. The farm wasn’t impenetrable. It wasn’t an impressive barrier between the hell of the world and her. Sooner or later, the harsh realities of this post-apocalyptic existence would find them there, too. And more than that, her heart balked at the idea of abandoning their mission, of leaving behind the sliver of hope for a better future that might be waiting for them.
Sighing, Emma leaned against Liam’s solid form beside her, taking comfort in his steady presence. His arm tightened around her shoulders almost instantly.
“You doing okay?” he asked softly, his breath warm against her temple.
She nodded, burrowing closer. “Just thinking too much, I guess.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
Glancing up at him, she saw the weariness that shadowed his blue eyes behind the glasses, the new lines carved into his handsome face. The easy smiles and jokes that had defined him when they first met were rarer now, tempered by loss and hard choices. But there was a sturdiness to him too, a calm strength that anchored her when the enormity of it all threatened to sweep her away.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she told him, lacing their fingers together. “I don’t think I could do this without you.”
“Sure you could,” Liam replied, pressing a kiss to her hair. “You’re the strongest person I know, Emma. But I’m grateful to be by your side wherever this crazy road takes us. We’re going to make it through this, together.”
In his arms, Emma could almost believe it was true.
Her mind continued to drift as the truck rumbled on, the monotonous drone of the tires against asphalt lulling her into a contemplative state. She thought about the daydream from moments before, a tantalizing glimpse of a life that could have been.
She pictured Liam tending to the animals that they’d somehow find somewhere, his gentle hands soothing skittish sheep and coaxing reluctant crops from the earth. Alex would be in his element, helping make sure all their tools worked right, and William would love life just getting to belong somewhere. Chris and Bash would fortify the perimeter, ever-vigilant guardians against the dangers that lurked beyond.
It was a beautiful fantasy, but that’s all it could ever be. The farm was gone, razed to ashes like so much of the world they’d known. Six of them really couldn’t live inside.
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and Emma blinked them back fiercely. She couldn’t afford to dwell on might-have-beens, not when they had so far still to go.
“You’re awful quiet again,” Liam remarked, twisting around to look at her. “You sure everything’s okay?”
“I was picturing you with the animals,” she began slowly, her voice barely audible over the rumble of the engine. “Caring for them, building a bond. You said you always had a bond with pets, and Ranger is proof of that. I think you’d be a natural with livestock.”
A surprised chuckle escaped him. “I’m not sure I’ve ever pictured myself as a farmer, but I suppose I could learn. What about the others?”
Emma’s smile widened as she let the images flow. “Alex would keep everything running smoothly—he’s so brilliant with machines and technology. Anything that broke, he could fix. And William...” Her expression softened. “He’d finally have a placeto call home. Somewhere he belongs, surrounded by people who care about him to explore what he wanted.”
“He’d like that,” Liam agreed quietly, his gaze distant. “The kid’s been through a lot. We all have.” Liam glanced toward where William slept peacefully.
“Chris and Bash would stay basically as they are,” Emma continued, warming to her fantasy. “They’d fortify the perimeter, set up patrols. My parents had a decent stockpile of weapons in the basement, and with a few upgrades, it could be a real stronghold.”
She paused, swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat. “It’s not a terrible area, you know. Not a lot of people around to draw the government’s attention. We might be able to make it work, if we had to.”
Liam’s fingers tightened around hers, his callused thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin. “Is that what you want? To go back?”
“No,” Emma said immediately, shaking her head. “No, I don’t think so. It’s just...it’s a nice dream, you know? A life with all of you, in a place that used to mean something to me. But that’s all it is. A dream.”
