Page 90 of A Convenient Secret
“I loved it.” She beams at me, and I almost drop herfrom the sheer overwhelment. This woman will be the death of me.
“You’re trouble.” I put her down gently in my bathroom.
She looks down and bites her lip. “I didn’t disappoint you? I mean…I know you’re used to women who are… and I hope you…”
Fuck, the way she sways between bursts of confidence and bouts of self-doubt is infuriating. But also so raw and real. The fact she doesn’t pretend in front of me. Doesn’t act. She just is.
All her smiles, giggles, verbal diarrhea, chin-ups, and lost gazes. All of her. So fucking genuine.
I step into her space and take her face into my hands, lowering my lips to hers. I don’t take her mouth like before, desperate for a connection, feeding my own desires.
I kiss her to tell her how perfect she is. How much I respect and admire her. How grateful I am for her role in my life.
She snakes her hands around my waist, wrapping herself tighter around me. The quiet intimacy of our kiss is almost scary, opening my chest wide, making me vulnerable and exposed. But also making me whole and invincible.
It’s a strange feeling. Like I want to bring the stars to her feet and protect her at all costs. At the sametime, I know, at this moment, that whatever happens tomorrow, my life will never be the same.
That everything led to this moment, when a girl who offered to marry me became my wife. Whether she’s ready for it or not.
“What was that for?” she asks me, breathless.
“You can’t ever disappoint me, Lily.”
All her muscles tense in my embrace, and something akin to fear flashes through her face. Fuck, I’m scaring her with my premature declarations.
“Your pussy fits perfectly around my cock,” I add, to make my words less severe for her.
A smile tugs at her lips. “I will get better at this.”
“At your dirty talk? Yeah, we need to work on that.” I walk to the shower and turn the water on, testing the temperature with my hand.
Lily comes and kisses my back. I bow my head, the stream beating down my shoulders. I want to make her see how much she already means to me, but I need to remember who we are. She’s a decade-younger woman, who needed money and helped me out.
Yes, the chemistry is off the charts between us, but for her, it’s probably just that. Getting experience with an older man. Something she can get out of this period in her life before she moves on.
“I want to be the woman you deserve.” She puts her hands on my shoulders.
When it comes to the two of us, our preconceptions are wrong.
And here she is proving that theory right. “Lily,” I grit out, and turn to face her.
Beads of water roll down her face and her body, and she looks so fragile and strong at the same time, my chest expands with blissful pain.
“Don’t worry, I understand nobody can know about us, and that ‘us’ may last this weekend only, but you make me feel beautiful, cared for. You make me feel safe, and I haven’t felt safe for a very long time. I want to reciprocate.”
She reaches between us and grips my cock. I should stop her. I should tell her she means more to me than sex. I should be as brave as she is and tell her how she makes me feel.
Instead, I drop to my knees and kiss her between her thighs, and then I trail kisses up her torso, over the scarred tissue. “You’re beautiful.”
She whimpers. “Declan.”
My name was on her lips before she gripped my cock, but this time it grips my heart. “Let me take care of you.” The words scrape my throat like sandpaper.
“Declan,” she sighs, her voice cracking the same way mine is.
I stand up and cup her face. “But you can never be the woman I deserve.”
Her eyebrows pull together, creasing her forehead. She swallows visibly, and her bottom lip trembles slightly before she presses it into a firm line. “I see,” she rasps.
