Page 64 of A Convenient Secret
“Just don’t encourage my son to skip his obligations,” I grit out through a clenched jaw, hoping we can both step away from this.
“Did you know Zach didn’t want to talk to you about soccer because he didn’t want to disappoint you?”
If she slapped me, it would sting less. I grind my teeth, my hands shaking. “Fuck.”
I step away, turning my back to her. I hang my head, my world crumbling again as another failure joins the rest of my inadequacies.
A warm hand connects with my skin through my shirt, and I shudder. Lily’s touch on my back is comforting, like I’ve just learned to breathe again.
“Declan,” she whispers, her voice full of compassion. Compassion I don’t deserve.
“I’m trying my best.” I hate how whiny that admission sounds.
“And your kids love you and respect you. They want to be like you. Especially Zach. Just make sure he still remains himself. That he knows you respect his choices.”
I don’t ever want her to remove her hand from my back. It’s like she is recharging my batteries, uploading a new operating system, and making sure I can function for a bit longer.
“Thank you.” I turn slowly, even though it means I’m losing her touch.
Her smile hits me like an arrow to my heart. I just yelled at her, and she comforted me in return.
“Lily—”
“It’s okay, Declan. I understand where I made the mistake. I promise to be a good girl.”
We freeze. She didn’t aim for a double entendre, but fuck if she didn’t just awaken the beast in me. She must realize the slip, because heat rushes to her cheeks, and her eyes pop out.
I should just ignore it, glance over her slip-up, but my cock has different ideas. He wants a good girl.
I move closer, pushing away all thoughts of propriety. A distant inner voice warns me. I can’t afford to lose another nanny. Especially not one my kids have accepted. One that complements my family in the bestways. But I tune out that fucker as if Lily is the only woman in the world.
And for a brief second, I allow myself to believe she is.
Because for me, she is the only woman.
I step forward, and she steps back, her back hitting the door. I don’t allow her any personal space, the suggestion of her body under her clothes enough for me to lose my mind.
“You want to be a good girl for me, little Seagull?”
Her eyes widen, mixed with innocence and curiosity. It’s such a turn-on.
My hand skims her rib cage through the thick cotton of the sweatshirt, slowly brushing the swell of her breast up to her neck. I wrap my fingers around that delicate column. Not squeezing—just needing to feel her pulse flutter.
What I find is an erratic beat. For a moment I worry I scared her, but her eyes tell a different story.
And then she nods, licking her lips, and I stifle a groan.
“You’re not a good girl though, Lily. Far from it. Just this morning, we agreed to keep our distance.” I trace her chin with my thumb.
“Are you referring to your monologue? Because I didn’t agree to anything.” She bites her lips, stripping me of my last bit of restraint.
Grinding against her, I fuse my lips with hers.
She moans and wraps her leg around mine. Fuck. She should stop this. I should stop this.
To the soundtrack of those thoughts, I thrust my tongue into her beautiful mouth. Holding her leg in place, I reluctantly leave her throat and move my hand down, skimming her breast again, wishing I had the patience to spend more time there.
But I resisted this temptation for too long, so I go straight for her waistband. Lily cups my nape, pulling me closer, our bodies flush.
