Page 52 of A Convenient Secret
And she’s not even kidding. I feel strangely indignant on his behalf. I shouldn’t, but I do.
“Of course not. I actually enjoyed the kiss.”
“Isn’t there some sort of a code? Don’t fuck your nanny?” Cora asks.
“We didn’t…” I look around, blush heating my cheeks. “He rememberedthe codeand stopped.”
“On some weird level, this makes Declan almost more human.” Saar grins.
“Is it going to be awkward now when you work for him?” Cora asks.
I blow out a long breath and lean back in my chair. “I don’t know, but he is not home much, so we really only meet for a few minutes in the morning and in the evening.”
“You enjoyed the kiss.” Cora pokes me in the ribs. It’s not a question; it’s a statement.
What gave my feelings away? Do I have a large sign on my forehead that says I have a crush on Declan Quinn, and that I’ve never been kissed like that?
“It was okay,” I deflect, heat now spreading from my face down my neck. Has the air conditioning stopped working?
“Just okay? By the level of blush, I’m almosttempted to ask for X-rated details, but since Declan is my brother-in-law, I’ll try to forget about the whole thing.” Saar makes a face like she’s just swallowed a lemon.
“He probably did already.” I sigh.
“Lils?” Cora probes, empathy lacing her voice.
I groan. “Okay, I find him attractive and I enjoyed the kiss. But that doesn’t mean anything because I work for him, and because he regretted the moment of poor judgment, as he called it.”
Saar reaches her hand over and squeezes mine. “I’m sorry, but I think it’s for the best. What got you to take the job, anyway?”
I shrug. “I enjoyed my week with the twins way more than I enjoy my current job. And they accepted me after so many nannies failed. They deserve some stability.”
“As long as you don’t get hurt because you have the hots for their father,” Cora says, her words spreading another wave of heat down my body.
“Declan is not a good idea, Lils.” Saar stirs the foam in her drink. “He is dedicated to those kids after their mother abandoned them. He has no room for a relationship, even a casual one.”
“When did his wife leave?” Cora asks.
Saar’s face contorts with pain. “First time, when they were three or four months.”
Jesus. “First time?”
“She came back briefly when they were three, and decided yet again that motherhood is not for her.” Saar shakes her head slowly, as if the movement can make the statement more comprehensible.
“That’s horrible.” Cora’s hand flies to her heart, while mine is breaking for the twins. And for Declan.
“And that’s the reason Declan doesn’t let women close,” Saar says. “The wounds Kendra left are ones that can’t be healed. He protects his heart and his twins fiercely. I mean, the man hires an escort for each event, and probably takes care of his needs in the Velvet Room.”
“The sex club? Not even casual hookups?” Cora asks.
“I don’t know for sure, but Corm believes his brother just gave up on intimacy.” Saar looks at me. “Lils, protect yourself against that kind of pain. You deserve better, and more than he can ever offer.”
The man is good, I’ll give him that. If I thought he ignored me before, he is now bringing his A-game. It’s like I don’t exist. Like that moment in his office two weeks ago truly was a moment of poor judgment that he erased as quickly as he changes his tie.
That kiss really meant nothing to him. With Saar’s warning on top of everything, I should be cured.
I’m not.
I’m stealing glances at him every chance I get. There are only fleeting moments. My favorite are the mornings when I arrive.
