Page 42 of A Convenient Secret
“We wewe making French toasts,” Zoya chirps.
“Zach?” Declan prompts with authority.
“It was an accident,” I blurt out, and Zach’s eyes whip to me.
Declan sighs. “I guess we will have to order breakfast this morning.”
Zach studies me for a moment, and then he smirks. “That’s what I suggested.”
“Awe we going to the park still?” Zoya asks, her bottom lip already sporting her famous manipulative pout.
“I’ll order the breakfast and have a shower. After we eat, we go to the park,” Declan tells his kids while he stares at me.
I have been on the receiving end of his glower, but this stare is new.
He’s eyeing me with curiosity, his eyes lined with exhaustion, but also with a similar softness to that he shows his kids.
I must be hallucinating, the lack of sleep and last night’s trauma playing tricks on me.
“Can Lily come with us?” Zoya bounces around him.
I hold my breath, wracking my brain for some excuse.
Declan sighs heavily. “Sure.” He doesn’t look at me anymore. “Let’s go upstairs.”
The twins file out of the kitchen. Avoiding my eyes, Declan walks to the fridge, stepping around themilk puddle. He opens the door and gets a bottle of water.
My heart hammers in my chest, but I find my voice, however small. “How are you feeling?”
He gulps down his water and leaves the kitchen without another word, or a glance my way.
Chapter 9
Declan
The more I try to avoid Lily, the more present she is in my life. I couldn’t refuse Zoya’s request. They will have a zombie father as it is after the fucked-up night I had.
I ended up with six stitches only, and I paid for a private room to have a nap, to regroup. I snuck around because somewhere in the same hospital, my business partner was having a baby.
There is a slim chance that the events of last night could become an anecdote we would all laugh at, but that time is not here yet.
After a power nap—something I mastered as a father—I called my driver and returned home. Home where Lily is still present, and my kitchen is in disarray.
And as soon as my gaze latched onto hers, I wasn’tsure how to proceed. On one side, there is the need to distance myself—for her sake and for mine. On the other hand, there must be a reason she sleeps armed to evoke a sense of safety.
Why is that? The question has been looping in my mind, and as much as I try, I can’t park it. I should be furious—or at least alarmed. And I am, but it’s not about me. My concern lies with the woman I want to erase from my life.
A futile effort.
Lily isn’t erasable.
Lily isn’t forgettable.
Lily isn’t ignorable.
Though the last one I’ve come as close to perfecting as possible. And I leaned into it all day today.
I poured my attention into my children, going about our habitual Saturday activities as if it was just a usual Saturday. Like Lily wasn’t here with us.
