Page 24 of A Convenient Secret
Or rather, my thoughts about her are indecent. It might be a normal summer dress, but it isn’t innocent in my dirty thoughts.
I should have fired her yesterday. I didn’t, because she’s getting me a new nanny next week. One that isn’t her. And I don’t have time to find someone sooner, so having her here temporarily makes sense.
It made sense yesterday. In the light of this morning, I’m not so sure. It’s going to be a long week.
“Obviously.” She puts her hands on her hips.
The action lifts the dress slightly more. My gaze drops to the lightly tanned skin, but I catch myself and start moving around, tidying up after the kids.
When I say nothing—because, let’s face it, haven’t I said enough already—Lily steps in front of me, blocking my useless activity.
“This is what I am wearing. Sorry it’s not up to your standards, but I wasn’t aware there is a dress code. Anything else?”
Her nose is small and slightly curved to one side. I never noticed that before. The imperfection makes her even more interesting. I wish she would ditch those glasses. They hide half of her beautiful face.
I finally meet her eyes—something I try not to do for her own sake—and I find a challenge in them. Right, she asked something.
“Please don’t move the furniture around, and don’t lean against the windows.” I guess we both can lead a successful passive-aggressive conversation.
“What?”
I close my eyes briefly and take a deep breath. Only now I’m engulfed in the subtle scent of coconut.
When I look down at her, she is glaring back.
“You heard me. Just do your job, and get me a permanent nanny.” I look at my watch. “And you better leave so the kids are not late.Again.”
It’s much safer to repel her with my attitude.
A pink hue warms her cheeks. “As you wish.” She smiles and leaves.
I know her obedience was as passive-aggressive as our conversation. I’m equally aware her agreement was to mock me.
And yet it does something to the deepest, darkest, depraved corners of my soul.
What if she was this pliable in… Fuck, don’t go there.
I stare at the spreadsheet, the numbers blurring in front of my eyes. There is something wrong with these projections, but I can’t point it out. I had the best people from my team on it, but I guess I can’t trust anyone.
Fuck. I’m exhausted. I press the intercom,connecting with my assistant. “Can you, please, get me another coffee?”
I haven’t slept much this week. It’s been a blur of meetings, calls, number crunching, and stolen glimpses of Lily. In reality, I have done nothing productive this week.
If I don’t count a few satisfying jerk-off sessions. Courtesy of my nanny. Not that she knows—or could ever know.
Since I didn’t fire Lily, I made myself scarce. I dove into work to avoid her. In the last few days, it also meant I didn’t see my kids much. I miss them, and I really hate losing even the little time we have together.
But it’s only for a week. Well, only for today, as it finally is Friday.
Not sure when I became the man who hides instead of attacking his problems head-on, but here we are.
I have no control around Lily. Or rather, the last threads of control I had burst the minute she walked into my penthouse.
She is too young. I come with all the complications of a busy man with a busy family. This makes no sense for either of us. I need to squash my infatuation and move on with life.
It’s not like we could hook up. I’m not particularly attached to the group that formed because Cal andCorm fell for their women, but having a one-night stand with Lily would only add unnecessary tension.
On Monday, I will get a new nanny, and then I can go back to the life I know. One where I have control. One that I’ve carefully crafted to make sure the kids don’t suffer much from the absence of their mother.
