Page 152 of A Convenient Secret
Make sure he’s okay.
Cora
You’re not coming back?
Saar
Lily?
Celeste
What’s going on?
Iwatch the coffee drip into the small cup, the black liquid forming brown foam. I need this coffee more than I need oxygen right now.
I haven’t slept all night. I packed my suitcase, and I tried to get a bit of a shuteye, but sleep eluded me.
My head is throbbing. My eyes burn. My feet hurt from all the pacing. But it’s all just a mild discomfort compared to the searing, gaping wound in my heart.
Yes, I don’t know the facts, but the feeling is there. That feeling of clipped wings, of depending on someone’s whims, of conditional freedom is all too familiar. It’s what I grew up with. It’s the world of manipulation I know too well.
Could he have known all along who I was? Did he marry me for my money and status? The idea is preposterous, but my exhausted mind offers it anyway. Along with other useless explanations that get my head spinning.
The rich, inviting aroma hits my nostrils as I take a sip, the warm liquid spreading through my aching bodyand soul. I glimpse the camera in the corner. I’m sure he’s not watching me, but I flip him the bird anyway.
How dare he blame me for not telling him sooner. How dare he dismiss me last night like I’m just his nanny.
There are some remains of a decently functional logic trying to penetrate my frayed mind. It tells me I’m overreacting. That is the only reason I’m still here.
There must be an explanation I don’t see, because I’m stunned by the revelation, yesterday’s events, the lack of sleep.
How much can someone endure before they break? I think I’m dangerously close to my limit.
The elevator door swooshes open. They are here. Keys drop. Declan sighs. Footsteps disappear, probably into the soft carpet. Is he alone?
I walk out into the living room. He’s standing by the windows. The man I fell for, broad shoulders, alluring presence, casual stance with his hand in his pocket.
“Where is Zach?” Has something happened? My heart, which has suffered several marathons in the last twenty-four hours, somehow endures another adrenaline spike.
Declan whips around, his rigid expression softening as he lays his eyes on me. “You’re here.” It sounds like relief. “We went to pick up Zoya, but Mom luredhim in with cookies. They are staying there this morning.”
He eats the distance between us, opening his arms. “Thank God you’re still here.”
I raise my arm to stop him and take a step back. “Don’t.”
He stops. Closing his eyes briefly, he takes a fortifying breath. “Lily, I’m so sorry. I was under a lot of pressure. The minute you left, I regretted everything. You needed me as much as I needed you, and I…”
I swallow a sob. This was the conversation I was hoping for when I left the hospital last night.
“Zach was in pain, and I was livid about the way it all went down. Such an unnecessary accident. And I wanted to carry his pain if I could. That was my focus. But I should have been there for all of us. I’m sorry.”
This time, the sob doesn’t stay jailed inside me. Declan’s face constricts painfully, and he steps forward. “Seagull.”
“When did Kendra give up her parental rights?”
Something dark flashes through his expression. “Does it matter?”
“After you blamed me for keeping my secret and not trusting you with it, I think it matters.”
