Page 89 of A Convenient Secret
“I’m pretty sure you fried my brain, so say whatever you want.” I kiss his biceps, because that’s about the range of movement I can muster.
“I was hoping one time would be enough to get you out of my system.”
I bite his biceps. “You were also hoping you could resist this, so I guess when it comes to the two of us, our preconceptions are wrong.”
Somehow, he flips us again. The lounger isn’t wide enough, so he arranges me on top of him and kisses my crown. “Thank God for that. This might be the only time in my life I’m fucking glad I lost control.”
Chapter 18
Declan
“Let the city hear you, Lily. Come for me.”
Her hands are on the banister as I’m taking her from behind, practically holding her up, her body used and spent.
Maybe I’m too hard on her. I should have taken her to my bed and let her rest after the first time.
But I’m a weak man when it comes to her. I gave her a break for all of ten minutes before I had to bury myself in her again.
No control. No fucking control.
I was half-hard all evening watching her in that stupid dress, and restraining myself from either pouncing on her or punching every fucking asshole who ogled her.
When I arranged the weekend at my mom’s for the kids, I told myself it was to get some time to catch upon work and on the genealogy project. I kept telling that to myself, hoping I would believe it.
I failed miserably, and when I saw her coming down in that dress, all made up, no longer hiding, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, she would be mine this weekend.
I had to pretend to stare at my phone because I wanted to grab her hand and drag her out of Cal’s house and straight to my bed.
And still, the fool that I am, I was telling myself it’s only for this one time. She is so young, innocent, so vibrant… But that story got old too quickly. I needed to have her. Her warmth calls to me like she is the only fire on Earth.
It’s not enough to have her here in secret. It’s not.
I have tried my best to resist her, to do right by her. But I’m done. Lily is mine, and I will do anything to keep her. And everything to make it up to her.
“You take me so well, baby.”
The blush on her face when I asked her to speak up about her desires… Fuck, her confession that she’s only been with one man… It made me even harder instantly. Like I could be her one and only.
Like I could offer her that. I can’t. But I’m unable to stop anymore. I’ll have to find a way.
“Declan, Declan, Dec…” she chants, and my name onher lips does it for me, and I unload, my release so strong I almost drop to the ground.
Instead, I scoop her to me and turn to lean on the cold, stone balustrade. She fidgets to wrap her arms around my waist and rest her head contentedly on my chest. And in my mind, I can see us like this every day, all the days far into the future.
I banish the thought immediately, because it’s a silly, orgasm-induced fantasy. One that could never happen. If nothing else, then on account of my kids. It’s not like I would want to get rid of them every weekend.
I may want Lily, but how available am I really?
Depressed by this line of thoughts, I discard the condom unceremoniously on the ground and pick her up bridal-style before I walk inside.
“Where are we going?” She smiles at me, her just-fucked, flushed face and swollen lips already rushing blood to my cock.
“Bedroom. I’m pretty sure they heard you in Brooklyn.” I carry her up the stairs.
Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth, but then she catches herself and swats at me. “It’s all your fault. I might have a sore throat tomorrow.”
A pang of guilt grips me. “I went too hard on you.” I kick the door to my bedroom open.
