Page 30 of A Convenient Secret
“They will miss you,” I say, hopefully picking up a reasonable thread.
Any thread that takes me away from her full lips.That aristocratic jewel of a nose. Or those bewitchingly enigmatic eyes.
“I’ll miss them too.”
The honest regret in her voice shocks me. She spent a week with them, and she genuinely cares about them. Not because it’s a job. Because she likes them as much as they like her.
“Lily,” I groan, wishing I could stop her from bringing value to my life. Hoping against the odds that, somehow, she may just disappoint and make things easier for me.
“Declan,” she sighs, mock-mirroring my desperation, and fuck, I want to hear my name on her lips more often. In different situations. “I’ll be happy to hang out with them again. They are wonderful kids.”
“You would do that?”
Is she just generous with her time, or does she want to spend time with us? Not that she should.
“Why not?” She hands me the glass.
“You spent a week with them; it’s not like you have any obligations to my family.”
Why am I talking her out of it? Zoya would be happy. And probably Zach. I would hate to… to love it. It’s the worst idea.
I need her out of my life. Having her around and not having her is pure torture. It impacts menegatively… My time with the kids, my performance at work. It’s a recipe for disaster.
“I wouldn’t do it out of obligation. I had fun with them. I didn’t think I could do it, but in the end, it was actually quite rewarding.”
“Then stay.” My brain-to-mouth filter is broken. Have I just said that?
Chapter 6
Lily
Ishift and look at him wide-eyed. Has he just asked that? He wants me to stay?
Obviously he doesn’t want his kids with yet another new nanny.
I actually enjoyed my week with them. More than I could ever imagine. Could I stay? Having Declan as my boss would be a challenge. But he wasn’t here much. And perhaps, interacting with the grump, I might finally outgrow my silly attraction.
I think I may enjoy being Zach and Zoya’s nanny.
I clear my throat, heat warming my cheeks. Am I really going to accept?
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Declan closes his eyes, shaking his head. “It just felt good to have someone here whose presence they embraced. They chased all the other nannies away, but they seem to like you.”
Oh. I slouch back beside him. I feel strangely deflated, but at the same time happy that Zoya and Zach accepted me.
“Maybe because they knew I’m here for a week only. Have you asked them why they didn’t like the nannies?”
Declan whips his head to me. He looks like I just told him that the markets crashed—I assume that would shock him. After a long, weird pause, he sighs. “I’m failing at this parenting job.”
“No, you’re not.” Our faces are so close to each other. I take his tumbler again to break the closeness. “I only have five days of experience, but it’s hard.”
“So fucking hard.” He takes the glass before I have a chance to take a sip and downs the amber liquid.
I enjoyed sharing a drink with him. I should probably head out, but this rare moment of closeness with Declan has smoothed the frayed edges of my lonely soul. It shouldn’t, and I don’t understand why it does.
Besides my girlfriends, this is the first evening in over a year that I don’t feel alone. Ironic, given that I’m sitting here with a man who seems to mostly avoid or ignore me.
Earlier, when his face was only inches from mine, and his gaze hugged me in exciting anticipation, I really thought he was going to kiss me.
