Page 45 of Destined for Eternity
Chapter 17
Bartol
He slept fitfully through the night as he lay on the couch. Bartol needed rest to heal, but the fight with Cori disturbed him more and more as he cooled off from the battle with the demons. She’d caught him at the worst possible time. He’d just extracted essence from a powerful demon, which always took a toll on his mood and made him testier. His father had come out of the shower after Cori left, angry with his son, and told him he should be ashamed of himself.
Raguel was right.
Every time Bartol remembered her tears, it gutted him. How could he have said such harsh things to the woman he loved, pregnant no less? It had been like he was another person. Then again, he’d been keeping his distance from her for some time, and it amazed him she’d put up with him for this long. Doubts constantly plagued him about whether or not he’d be a good father, especially as each month passed and the due date neared. Every time he saw her growing belly, his fears heightened further. He didn’t want her to know how much he worried about their future, and he was terrified of hurting her or the baby physically.
But now he’d hurt her emotionally, and perhaps that was worst of all.
Dawn came, sunlight filtering through the living room window, and he gave up on getting any more rest. He sat up on the couch and rubbed his face, wondering what to do to make things better. Cori would still be asleep, and he couldn’t resist the urge to check on her. He flashed to her bedroom, finding her slumbering on her side on the bed. Her expression was peaceful. None of the hurt or anger showed from before.
Bartol itched to touch her, but he knew as soon as he got close that the feeling would change. He'd be back in his nightmares, unable to control his revulsion. She deserved someone much better than him. Why she had fought for him this long, he’d never understand. She was remarkable, and before he could make their relationship work, he needed to take a very big step to prove he was good enough for her—and their child. With that in mind, he flashed to the nerou compound.
Nothing stirred there. The sun rose shortly after five in the morning at this time of year, but the nerou didn’t usually wake until six. Most of the trainers didn’t live there, but the one who Bartol sought did. He headed toward a beige trailer behind the dormitories. A soft glow lit the window by the door, and he hoped that meant the occupant was already awake. He knocked and then took two steps back. It was only a moment later before the nephilim who lived inside answered it. He filled in the doorway, wearing a white t-shirt and black exercise pants.
“Bartol,” Eli said, surprised. “To what do I owe this visit?”
“I need your help.”
“For you to come at this time of the morning, it must be bad.” The dark-skinned nephilim stepped back. “Please, come inside.”
Bartol entered, already feeling awkward for showing up unannounced, but he was desperate enough not to care too much if he inconvenienced the psychologist. He passed through the kitchen and took a seat on a plain, brown couch. The trailer was small but comfortable. Eli kept it clean and organized, leaving his personal touches everywhere. Photos of him with friends hung on the wall, a cactus grew on the kitchen counter, and he had a gaming system attached to his television.
“Can I get you something to drink?” the nephilim asked.
Bartol shook his head. “No.”
“Very well.” Eli took a seat across from him in the recliner. “Tell me what happened.”
“Why do you assume something happened?”
The psychologist gave him a level look. “You wouldn’t be here just past dawn if the situation wasn’t dire. Never mind that we both know you’d rather be anywhere than with me.”
Nothing got past this man, that was for certain.
“Cori and I argued,” Bartol admitted. He took a deep breath, telling himself he had to tell Eli more if he was to work out the problem. “She said she doesn’t want to see me again.”
“Why?”
“She came over right after I returned from battling powerful demons. It takes a toll on me physically and emotionally.” Bartol rubbed his face, his own cruel words repeating in his mind again and again. “She wanted to help tend my wounds and talk about the baby, but I pushed her away.”
“Can you blame her for being upset?” Eli asked.
“No, not at all.”
The nephilim clasped his hands together. “When did this happen?”
“Last night.” Bartol shook his head. “I’ve hardly slept since then because I don’t know how to make this right. She’s too good for me, but I want her anyway.”
“Tell me how you feel about her.”
Bartol had never opened up to anyone like this before, but he forced himself to let go of his reticence. Cori needed him to become a better man, and he had to do whatever it took to make that happen. “I love her more than I thought possible. She’s beautiful inside and out, but I appreciate that she’s not perfect, either. The woman has her faults, and she’s made some mistakes in life that could cripple others, but somehow she hasn’t let her past control her life the way I have. It amazes me how much she can accomplish no matter the obstacles before her.”
He stopped himself, amazed he’d said that much. It was a relief getting it out and allowing himself to think about his mate without fear clouding his thoughts. He hated to admit it, but perhaps talking about his situation wasn’t as bad as he expected.
Eli nodded. “So you can admire her from afar, but what happens when you get close?”
